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Rabbi Marc Gellman began his studies in 1969 at the University of Wisconsin, and went on to attend the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of ...
Read more about By Rabbi Marc Gellman, Tribune Media Services.
Three Weddings and a Lesson on the Trinity
By Rabbi Marc Gellman, Tribune Media Services
Thanks again to my Fordham University priest friends for their help
with the following questions. I'm still amazed that I continue to
receive Catholic ritual questions, but I'll do my best to find the
answers. (If I mess up, and you're an alumnus of Fordham, please keep
giving them money!)
Q: My daughter is dating a nice young man (she's 22 and he's 24). We are practicing Catholics, while he is Russian Orthodox and practices his religion. This is fine with my husband and me. My daughter and her boyfriend have talked about the future, and she wants to get married in our church. Would the Catholic church allow this? Could priests from both churches perform the ceremony? Both young people have attended each other's mass and say the prayers are the same. -- R. via godsquadquestion@aol.com
A: Yes, these two lovebirds can be married in a Catholic church, provided you first get a mixed religion dispensation from your priest. If the marriage is in the Russian Orthodox church of your future son-in-law, you'll need a dispensation for your priest to participate. If all the couple wants is for your priest to say a blessing but not officiate, all you need is what every wedding celebration needs--those little hot dogs with the crust around them.
Two of the many questions I get on another topic:
Q: I was brought up in a Catholic family. Fifty years ago, my sister married a divorced man before a justice of the peace. My parish priest told me I couldn't attend her wedding or send anniversary cards since she was "living in sin, not being married in the eyes of the church." I also had to decline her request that I be godmother to her child for the same reason. Was the priest correct? -- S., Levittown, N.Y., via godsquadquestion@aol.com
A: Since Vatican II, the Catholic Church has taken a more pastoral and less ritually rigorous stand on such matters. The position of the Church on the spiritual value of marriage and its opposition to divorce, however, have not changed. I, for one, admire their stand on the sanctity of marriage, while dissenting on the issue of divorce.
The advice you received from your parish priest was cruel, requiring you to shatter your family unity at the time of your sister's marriage, and also to wound your sister on her anniversary each year because you were told to ignore her happy day. You'd probably find many priests today more attuned to pastoral compassion, while still defending the basic values of the Church. Find one ... and send your sister a card.
Q: A religious issue has plagued me through more than a decade of marriage. I was raised Episcopalian, and my husband, Roman Catholic. When we announced our marriage, my husband's cousin, a Roman Catholic priest, refused to acknowledge or attend our wedding. We wanted him to attend the ceremony to honor our Catholic ties, which my minister fully supported.
Unfortunately, because this was not a "Catholic" ceremony, my husband's cousin said (the marriage) was not recognized by the Church, therefore it would be a "sin" for him to acknowledge or attend. Furthermore, he said we would not be viewed as "married" by the Catholic Church. Shortly before the wedding, my minister called to check on us and I explained what had happened. He searched for words of wisdom and insight, only to advise that the response we received was rubbish.
Are we not all God's children? Regardless of how we choose to honor (God)? I was raised to honor all religions. I felt the Catholic priest had a very narrow-minded, rigid approach to faith in God.
To say the least, this incident has shaken my appreciation, specifically of the Catholic faith. Was the priest's stance the "standard" Roman Catholic response to a simple wedding invitation? -- Anonymous, via godsquadquestion@aol.com
A: As I mentioned before, the Catholic Church has become more sensitive to such issues since Vatican II.
Since it's my habit to defend people who look like jerks in the questions I receive, let me say a word of defense for your brother's cousin's faith. He is a priest and he believes certain things. One of the things he believes is that Catholic/Episcopal marriages are not his spiritual ideal nor the ideal of his (and your husband's) church. He has a right to believe that, and you do not have a right to get bent out of shape because he wasn't willing to abandon his beliefs to make you happy. Live and let live. Still in all, he could have gone to the reception and offered a prayer over the marriage and (you guessed it) the little hot dogs with...
Q. We're not sure to whom we should address our prayers. Will you please explain the Christian concept of the "Triune God" -- God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit? I'm in my 60s and need to understand this before my time comes. Are these three entities, or one entity? To which one may we correctly pray? -- W., via godsquadquetion@aol.com
A: I don't believe in a Triune God, but I think I understand the concept. There's just one God who has three aspects (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). This idea that one God has several aspects is not unique to Christianity.
In Islam, Allah has 99 names and each is an aspect of the one supreme God. In Judaism, God's feminine aspect is called Shekinah and God's masculine aspect is called Kadosh Baruch Hu.
God is beyond all our knowing, so we create aspects of God to help us imagine God's various presences in our lives and in the world. Don't worry, there's just one God who is the addressee for all your prayers. No matter which aspect you write on the prayers of your heart, the prayers will get through to the one who hears and heals everyone.
(Send QUESTIONS ONLY to The God Squad, c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or email them to godsquadquestion@aol.com.
(c) 2009 THE GOD SQUAD DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
This news arrived on: 08/06/2009
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Posted Comments:
09-15-2009 20:39
YO! Dominik wrote:
not excuses, VERY GOOD REASONS instead!
#1 My God knows ALREADY the my gender and that of my pastor. No need to prove ANYTHING to God on that issue.
#2 I have checked out the Bereans, and I trust them MORE than I trust you and your organization.
Furthermore, I have checked out your so called debates on your own websites and what I saw there showed the Bereans' report to be accurate.
And your own continued personal DISREGARD OF THE TRUTH leads me to believe that any so-called "debate" with your Mr Eli WOULD NOT be on the up and up.
#3 You wrote: "YOUR CHANCE TO PUT AS [ua? sic] TO SHAME... FAIR?"
Answer: you yourself put you and your church to shame almost every time you post. It is not fair but yet you do it. I only need to call you on your more outrageous statements. No need to debate on the internet or anywhere else to do that.
And I don't need a debate to pray for your repentence, which I am doing.
#2 I have checked out the Bereans, and I trust them MORE than I trust you and your organization.
Furthermore, I have checked out your so called debates on your own websites and what I saw there showed the Bereans' report to be accurate.
And your own continued personal DISREGARD OF THE TRUTH leads me to believe that any so-called "debate" with your Mr Eli WOULD NOT be on the up and up.
#3 You wrote: "YOUR CHANCE TO PUT AS [ua? sic] TO SHAME... FAIR?"
Answer: you yourself put you and your church to shame almost every time you post. It is not fair but yet you do it. I only need to call you on your more outrageous statements. No need to debate on the internet or anywhere else to do that.
And I don't need a debate to pray for your repentence, which I am doing.
09-15-2009 10:10
dominik wrote:
YO.,
Why not give the DEBAT a try. That's the only way to find out, isnt it.
Don't worry... I understand you are making a lot of excuses not to say YES to the challenge...
You know what FATE you will be once your FAKE pastor face Bro Eli.
Be a MAN, YO... proved to God you and your pastor is a MAN.
It is God who is inviting for MEN to reason together so truth will out...
ISAIAH 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
GIE IT A TRY, YO. NO MORE EXCUSES, PLEASE.
We'll answer for all the expenses showing the DEBATE around the world the via sattlelite... YOUR CHANCE TO PUT AS TO SHAME... FAIR?
Good day...
Why not give the DEBAT a try. That's the only way to find out, isnt it.
Don't worry... I understand you are making a lot of excuses not to say YES to the challenge...
You know what FATE you will be once your FAKE pastor face Bro Eli.
Be a MAN, YO... proved to God you and your pastor is a MAN.
It is God who is inviting for MEN to reason together so truth will out...
ISAIAH 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
GIE IT A TRY, YO. NO MORE EXCUSES, PLEASE.
We'll answer for all the expenses showing the DEBATE around the world the via sattlelite... YOUR CHANCE TO PUT AS TO SHAME... FAIR?
Good day...
09-09-2009 04:52
yo! dominik wrote:
I have checked out the Bereans, and I trust them more than I trust you and your organization.
What is more I have checked out your so called debates on your own websites and what I saw there corroborated the Bereans' report.
And furthermore, your own personal disregard of the truth leads me to believe that any so-called "debate" with your Mr Eli would not be on the up and up.
I continue to pray for you.
What is more I have checked out your so called debates on your own websites and what I saw there corroborated the Bereans' report.
And furthermore, your own personal disregard of the truth leads me to believe that any so-called "debate" with your Mr Eli would not be on the up and up.
I continue to pray for you.
09-07-2009 10:26
dominik wrote:
YO...
the only way to find out is for your Preacher and our preacher have a DEBATE?
Why not give it a try. I dont know why posting the opinion of the Bereans. Is that reliable? Did they have any proof or everything is just accusations?
If you believe... bring them out in the the DEBATE? Is that Fair? Isn't that a vantage point for you?
YES to a DEBATE.
Dont worry about the expenses... we'will take care of that covering the debate.. to be viewed around the world via sattelite and internet...
Do your preacher have the courage?
good day
the only way to find out is for your Preacher and our preacher have a DEBATE?
Why not give it a try. I dont know why posting the opinion of the Bereans. Is that reliable? Did they have any proof or everything is just accusations?
If you believe... bring them out in the the DEBATE? Is that Fair? Isn't that a vantage point for you?
YES to a DEBATE.
Dont worry about the expenses... we'will take care of that covering the debate.. to be viewed around the world via sattelite and internet...
Do your preacher have the courage?
good day
09-06-2009 11:17
P wrote:
to Santo J.Albano, Ph.D
the column in question was 08-27. Why post about it here under the 08-06 column? - unless you are trying to confuse people. Perhaps you should go back and read Rabbi Marc's words again in the 08-27 column.
Do you read Hebrew?
A "Ph D" who can't tell the difference between 2 different types of killing with 2 different Hebrew words to denote them better go back to school.
It sounds like you have your mind made up, that the Jewish faith is flawed. Maybe you should go to a DIFFERENT school than the one that caused you to be so BIGOTED.
Do you read Hebrew?
A "Ph D" who can't tell the difference between 2 different types of killing with 2 different Hebrew words to denote them better go back to school.
It sounds like you have your mind made up, that the Jewish faith is flawed. Maybe you should go to a DIFFERENT school than the one that caused you to be so BIGOTED.
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