VIEW OF CREMATION VARIES WIDELY AMONG RELIGIONS

Q: Is it OK for a Christian to be cremated, or must my husband and I be buried? We're both quite ill and we need an answer as soon as possible. We used to go to St. Paul's Methodist Church, but we don't attend anymore because of illness. -- R and B, West Palm Beach, FL.

A: I've answered several cremation questions over the years but none from a Methodist before. Protestant churches, and the Methodists in particular, are the most open to cremation of all the Christian denominations. So, the answer is, yes, you may be cremated, but I hope you don't need to avail yourselves of this practice for many years. I pray for your health.

The official statement of Methodist belief on this matter is from the church's official Web site, archives.umc.org: "United Methodists do not insist upon burial as the only appropriate means of committing our earthly remains to God, and so are generally open to cremation as a viable alternative. In some places, burial or entombment is simply not an option, either because of costs involved or because of a lack of cemetery space. Ultimately, this is a decision that will be in the context of the individuals, families, and cultural norms involved."

Here's a list of some other religions and how they break down on the cremation issue:

Religions requiring cremation: Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism (although Hindu holy men are buried, they are buried in a sitting lotus position and not lying down flat).

Religions which prefer but do not require cremation: Sikhism

Religions which prefer burial but allow cremation: Jehovah's witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists. Roman Catholicism, which until 1997 required the presence of a body at a funeral Mass but now will perform a funeral Mass with just an urn of ashes present. The Catholic Church does not allow scattering of ashes and prefers to have the urn buried or put in a niche in a columbarium.

Religions which forbid cremation: Orthodox Judaism, Conservative Judaism. Reform Judaism is more open to cremation but it still is highly discouraged even in the most liberal branches of Judaism. Eastern Orthodox Churches (unless there are special circumstances like disposing of bodies during an epidemic), Mormons (who also allow it in very rare circumstances), Bahai, Islam, Zoroastrianism, Confucianism.

The theological issues concerning cremation are focused on the belief in the resurrection of the dead at the end of time in the Messianic age. Cremation seems to be an assault on that belief because, obviously, it destroys the bodily remains. For this reason, in-ground burial is the preferred option for religions that focus on a belief in bodily resurrection.

My own person views on this matter are quite strong. I am vigorously opposed to cremation and especially so if the intention is to scatter the ashes somewhere. I have seen and I know the spiritual value of a grave. A grave is a place where mourners can come before holidays and on special occasions to pay their respects and focus their memories. It's a place where older children can be shown the graves of other family members and told the stories of their lives.

Mostly, I believe in graves because I believe in the spiritual value of touching. When I dedicate the stone for my father this summer, I'll be able to touch the stone that touches the earth that touches my father. It is a linkage of love into the bosom of the earth and into the bosom of my love for him. I know that only his bodily remains are in the earth and that his soul is in the world to come with God, but I'm still here on planet earth, and here where I live, touching is a powerful connector to the ones we love.

I felt this connection strongly when I helped preside at the memorial service for the victims of TWA flight 800 at Smith Point Beach on Long Island in 1996. We could have held that service anywhere, but it was clear that the families needed to be there so they could touch the water that touched the remains of those they loved.

Cremation ends touching and that's the main reason I don't like it or recommend it to those who ask my opinion. I also don't like the way cremation is sometimes sold to vulnerable elderly people by those with a commercial rather than a religious interest in the practice. I've heard stories of pitches that scare the people: "You don't want to be put into the ground and have people pile dirt on you, do you?" "You don't want to buried some place where nobody will visit your grave, do you?" All this sickens me.

I've often counseled grief-stricken mourners torn by the discovery that a parent took out a cremation policy when they want to bury the parent in a grave where they and their children can visit. They don't want to violate their parent's wishes, but they also don't want to give up a place for spiritual touching. I'm usually able to suggest a compromise where they go through with the cremation, then bury the urn in a grave.

Dust to dust, ashes to ashes, yes, but in God's time--in God's time.

(Send QUESTIONS ONLY to The God Squad, c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or email them to godsquadquestion@aol.com.