Fiction

Ulysses

James Joyce

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yes I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long he
made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow
stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keep that up and
Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out for him what
are all those veins and things curious the way its made 2 the same in
case of twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up there like
those statues in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her
hand are they so beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like
with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of him or
sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a
cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market or
that other wretch with the red head behind the tree where the statue of
the fish used to be when I was passing pretending he was pissing standing
out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one side the Queens own
they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them theyre always
trying to show it to you every time nearly I passed outside the mens
greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just to try some fellow or
other trying to catch my eye as if it was I of the 7 wonders of the world
O and the stink of those rotten places the night coming home with Poldy
after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make you feel nice and
watery I went into r of them it was so biting cold I couldnt keep it when
was that 93 the canal was frozen yes it was a few months after a pity a
couple of the Camerons werent there to see me squatting in the mens place
meadero I tried to draw a picture of it before I tore it up like a
sausage or something I wonder theyre not afraid going about of getting a
kick or a bang of something there the woman is beauty of course thats
admitted when he said I could pose for a picture naked to some rich
fellow in Holles street when he lost the job in Helys and I was selling
the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I be like that bath
of the nymph with my hair down yes only shes younger or Im a little like
that dirty bitch in that Spanish photo he has nymphs used they go about
like that I asked him about her and that word met something with hoses in
it and he came out with some jawbreakers about the incarnation he never
can explain a thing simply the way a body can understand then he goes and
burns the bottom out of the pan all for his Kidney this one not so much
theres the mark of his teeth still where he tried to bite the nipple I
had to scream out arent they fearful trying to hurt you I had a great
breast of milk with Milly enough for two what was the reason of that he
said I could have got a pound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the
morning that delicate looking student that stopped in no 28 with the
Citrons Penrose nearly caught me washing through the window only for I
snapped up the towel to my face that was his studenting hurt me they used
to weaning her till he got doctor Brady to give me the belladonna
prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard he said it
was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea
well hes beyond everything I declare somebody ought to put him in the
budget if I only could remember the I half of the things and write a book
out of it the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin
much an hour he was at them Im sure by the clock like some kind of a big
infant I had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure
those men get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch
myself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with and come
again like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it when he
made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I was
coming for about 5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug him after
O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything
at all only not to look ugly or those lines from the strain who knows the
way hed take it you want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like
him thank God some of them want you to be so nice about it I noticed the
contrast he does it and doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair
a bit loose from the tumbling and my tongue between my lips up to him the
savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord I cant
wait till Monday

frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines
have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over and out of
them all sides like the end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor men that
have to be out all the night from their wives and families in those
roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the half of those
old Freemans and Photo Bits leaving things like that lying about hes
getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C Ill get
him to cut them tomorrow for me instead of having them there for the next
year to get a few pence for them have him asking wheres last Januarys
paper and all those old overcoats I bundled out of the hall making the
place hotter than it is that rain was lovely and refreshing just after my
beauty sleep I thought it was going to get like Gibraltar my goodness the
heat there before the levanter came on black as night and the glare of
the rock standing up in it like a big giant compared with their 3 Rock
mountain they think is so great with the red sentries here and there the
poplars and they all whitehot and the smell of the rainwater in those
tanks watching the sun all the time weltering down on you faded all that
lovely frock fathers friend Mrs Stanhope sent me from the B Marche paris
what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote on it she was very nice whats
this her other name was just a p c to tell you I sent the little present
have just had a jolly warm bath and feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it
wogger she called him wogger wd give anything to be back in Gib and hear
you sing Waiting and in old Madrid Concone is the name of those exercises
he bought me one of those new some word I couldnt make out shawls amusing
things but tear for the least thing still there lovely I think dont you
will always think of the lovely teas we had together scrumptious currant
scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now dearest Doggerina be sure
and write soon kind she left out regards to your father also captain
Grove with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x she didnt look a bit married
just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was awfully fond
of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to step over at the
bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear
these clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to walk
up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up you cant
do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run or jump out of the way thats
why I was afraid when that other ferocious old Bull began to charge the
banderilleros with the sashes and the 2 things in their hats and the
brutes of men shouting bravo toro sure the women were as bad in their
nice white mantillas ripping all the whole insides out of those poor
horses I never heard of such a thing in all my life yes he used to break
his heart at me taking off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it
sick what became of them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the 2 of
them its like all through a mist makes you feel so old I made the scones
of course I had everything all to myself then a girl Hester we used to
compare our hair mine was thicker than hers she showed me how to settle
it at the back when I put it up and whats this else how to make a knot on
a thread with the one hand we were like cousins what age was I then the
night of the storm I slept in her bed she had her arms round me then we
were fighting in the morning with the pillow what fun he was watching me
whenever he got an opportunity at the band on the Alameda esplanade when
I was with father and captain Grove I looked up at the church first and
then at the windows then down and our eyes met I felt something go
through me like all needles my eyes were dancing I remember after when I
looked at myself in the glass hardly recognised myself the change he was
attractive to a girl in spite of his being a little bald intelligent
looking disappointed and gay at the same time he was like Thomas in the
shadow of Ashlydyat I had a splendid skin from the sun and the excitement
like a rose I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have been nice on
account of her but I could have stopped it in time she gave me the
Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne
I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that
other woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I
wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me by Mrs
Hungerford on account of the name I dont like books with a Molly in them
like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders a whore always
shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yards of it O this
blanket is too heavy on me thats better I havent even one decent
nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him and his
fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the heat my shift
drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on the chair
when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up on the sofa
cushions to see with my clothes up and the bugs tons of them at night and
the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long ago it seems
centuries of course they never came back and she didnt put her address
right on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always
going away and we never I remember that day with the waves and the boats
with their high heads rocking and the smell of ship those Officers
uniforms on shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything he was very
serious I had the high buttoned boots on and my skirt was blowing she
kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I believe I did or near it
my lips were taittering when I said goodbye she had a Gorgeous wrap of
some special kind of blue colour on her for the voyage made very
peculiarly to one side like and it was extremely pretty it got as dull as
the devil after they went I was almost planning to run away mad out of it
somewhere were never easy where we are father or aunt or marriage waiting
always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying
feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over the shop especially
the Queens birthday and throwing everything down in all directions if you
didnt open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did
supposed to be some great fellow landed off the ship and old Sprague the
consul that was there from before the flood dressed up poor man and he in
mourning for the son then the same old bugles for reveille in the morning
and drums rolling and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking
about with messtins smelling the place more than the old longbearded jews
in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for
the men to cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys to lock
the gates and the bagpipes and only captain Groves and father talking
about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at
Khartoum lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken
old devil with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it
picking his nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in
a corner but he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of
the room on some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky
talking of course but hed do the same to the next woman that came along I
suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a
letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with bits
of paper in them so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails listening
to that old Arab with the one eye and his heass of an instrument singing
his heah heah aheah all my compriments on your hotchapotch of your heass
as bad as now with the hands hanging off me looking out of the window if
there was a nice fellow even in the opposite house that medical in Holles
street the nurse was after when I put on my gloves and hat at the window
to show I was going out not a notion what I meant arent they thick never
understand what you say even youd want to print it up on a big poster for
them not even if you shake hands twice with the left he didnt recognise
me either when I half frowned at him outside Westland row chapel where
does their great intelligence come in Id like to know grey matter they
have it all in their tail if you ask me those country gougers up in the
City Arms intelligence they had a damn sight less than the bulls and cows
they were selling the meat and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying
to swindle me with the wrong bill he took out of his hat what a pair of
paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a poor
man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some
advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madam
only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a
letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what
possessed her to write from Canada after so many years to know the recipe
I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was
married to a very rich architect if Im to believe all I hear with a villa
and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy
always goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the
piannyer that was a solid silver coffee service he had too on the
mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate people that have always
their poor story to tell everybody has their own troubles that poor Nancy
Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt know her so well as
all that she was Floeys friend more than mine poor Nancy its a bother
having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and no stops to say
like making a speech your sad bereavement symphathy I always make that
mistake and newphew with 2 double yous in I hope hell write me a longer
letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O thanks be to the
great God I got somebody to give me what I badly wanted to put some heart
up into me youve no chances at all in this place like you used long ago I
wish somebody would write me a loveletter his wasnt much and I told him
he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid stuff
silly women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I
suppose thered be some truth in it true or no it fills up your whole day
and life always something to think about every moment and see it all
round you like a new world I could write the answer in bed to let him
imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters Atty
Dillon used to write to the fellow that was something in the four courts
that jilted her after out of the ladies letterwriter when I told her to
say a few simple words he could twist how he liked not acting with
precipat precip itancy with equal candour the greatest earthly happiness
answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing
else its all very fine for them but as for being a woman as soon as youre
old they might as well throw you out in the bottom of the ashpit.

Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio
brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her
to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin
to open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her in
the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her
appearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles
with all her religion domineering because she never could get over the
Atlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jack
flying with all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took
all the rock from them and because I didnt run into mass often enough in
Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when there was
a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her black blessed
virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday
morning and when the priest was going by with the bell bringing the
vatican to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an admirer he
signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him up when I saw
him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window then he tipped
me just in passing but I never thought hed write making an appointment I
had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up in every hole and
corner while father was up at the drill instructing to find out by the
handwriting or the language of stamps singing I remember shall I wear a
white rose and I wanted to put on the old stupid clock to near the time
he was the first man kissed me under the Moorish wall my sweetheart when
a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he put his tongue
in my mouth his mouth was sweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few
times to learn the way what did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to
the son of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he
believed me that I was to be married to him in 3 years time theres many a
true word spoken in jest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I
told him true about myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls
he didnt like I suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he
crushed all the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the
pesetas and the perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he
said on the black water but it was too short then the day before he left
May yes it was May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like
that in the spring Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under
the rockgun near OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and
all about the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail
careering all over the show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was a
regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and
throw stones at you if you went anear he was looking at me I had that
white blouse on open in the front to encourage him as much as I could
without too openly they were just beginning to be plump I said I was
tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose it must be the
highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those frightful
rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whatever they call them
hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my boots Im sure thats the
way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when they die the ships
out far like chips that was the Malta boat passing yes the sea and the
sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever he caressed them
outside they love doing that its the roundness there I was leaning over
him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it the left
side of my face the best my blouse open for his last day transparent kind
of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he wanted to touch mine with
his for a moment but I wouldnt lee him he was awfully put out first for
fear you never know consumption or leave me with a child embarazada that
old servant Ines told me that one drop even if it got into you at all
after I tried with the Banana but I was afraid it might break and get
lost up in me somewhere because they once took something down out of a
woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre all mad
to get in there where they come out of youd think they could never go far
enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes
because theres a wonderful feeling there so tender all the time how did
we finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief
pretending not to be excited but I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch
me inside my petticoat because I had a skirt opening up the side I
tormented the life out of him first tickling him I loved rousing that dog
in the hotel rrrsssstt awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below
us he was shy all the same I liked him like that moaning I made him blush
a little when I got over him that way when I unbuttoned him and took his
out and drew back the skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons
men down the middle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me
what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant
he was rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to
the whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said
hed come back Lord its just like yesterday to me and if I was married hed
do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block me now
flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a captain or admiral its nearly 20
years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and put his
hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young still
about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the black water and is quite
changed they all do they havent half the character a woman has she little
knows what I did with her beloved husband before he ever dreamt of her in
broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you might say they
could have put an article about it in the Chronicle I was a bit wild
after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were in from Benady Bros
and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodcocks and pigeons screaming
coming back the same way that we went over middle hill round by the old
guardhouse and the jews burialplace pretending to read out the Hebrew on
them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he hadnt one he didnt know what
to make of me with his peak cap on that he always wore crooked as often
as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat that old Bishop
that spoke off the altar his long preach about womans higher functions
about girls now riding the bicycle and wearing peak caps and the new
woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre
called after him I never thought that would be my name Bloom when I used
to write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or
practising for the butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming
Josie used to say after I married him well its better than Breen or
Briggs does brig or those awful names with bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom
or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad about either or
suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my mother whoever she was might have
given me a nicer name the Lord knows after the lovely one she had Lunita
Laredo the fun we had running along Williss road to Europa point twisting
in and out all round the other side of Jersey they were shaking and
dancing about in my blouse like Millys little ones now when she runs up
the stairs I loved looking down at them I was jumping up at the pepper
trees and the white poplars pulling the leaves off and throwing them at
him he went to India he was to write the voyages those men have to make
to the ends of the world and back its the least they might get a squeeze
or two at a woman while they can going out to be drowned or blown up
somewhere I went up Windmill hill to the flats that Sunday morning with
captain Rubios that was dead spyglass like the sentry had he said hed
have one or two from on board I wore that frock from the B Marche paris
and the coral necklace the straits shining I could see over to Morocco
almost the bay of Tangier white and the Atlas mountain with snow on it
and the straits like a river so clear Harry Molly darling I was thinking
of him on the sea all the time after at mass when my petticoat began to
slip down at the elevation weeks and weeks I kept the handkerchief under
my pillow for the smell of him there was no decent perfume to be got in
that Gibraltar only that cheap peau despagne that faded and left a stink
on you more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he gave me
that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to south
Africa where those Boers killed him with their war and fever but they
were well beaten all the same as if it brought its bad luck with it like
an opal or pearl still it must have been pure 18 carrot gold because it
was very heavy but what could you get in a place like that the sandfrog
shower from Africa and that derelict ship that came up to the harbour
Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadnt a moustache that was Gardner
yes I can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that
train again weeping tone once in the dear deaead days beyondre call close
my eyes breath my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the
world the mists began I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet
sooooooooooong Ill let that out full when I get in front of the
footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her lot of squealers Miss This Miss
That Miss Theother lot of sparrowfarts skitting around talking about
politics they know as much about as my backside anything in the world to
make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers
daughter am I ay and whose are you bootmakers and publicans I beg your
pardon coach I thought you were a wheelbarrow theyd die down dead off
their feet if ever they got a chance of walking down the Alameda on an
officers arm like me on the bandnight my eyes flash my bust that they
havent passion God help their poor head I knew more about men and life
when I was I S than theyll all know at 50 they dont know how to sing a
song like that Gardner said no man could look at my mouth and teeth
smiling like that and not think of it I was afraid he mightnt like my
accent first he so English all father left me in spite of his stamps Ive
my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always said theyre so snotty about
themselves some of those cads he wasnt a bit like that he was dead gone
on my lips let them get a husband first thats fit to be looked at and a
daughter like mine or see if they can excite a swell with money that can
pick and choose whoever he wants like Boylan to do it 4 or 5 times locked
in each others arms or the voice either I could have been a prima donna
only I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too much
make it double My Ladys Bower is too long for an encore about the moated
grange at twilight and vaunted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from
the south that he gave after the choirstairs performance Ill change that
lace on my black dress to show off my bubs and Ill yes by God Ill get
that big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole is itching me
always when I think of him I feel I want to I feel some wind in me better
go easy not wake him have him at it again slobbering after washing every
bit of myself back belly and sides if we had even a bath itself or my own
room anyway I wish hed sleep in some bed by himself with his cold feet on
me give us room even to let a fart God or do the least thing better yes
hold them like that a bit on my side piano quietly sweeeee theres that
train far away pianissimo eeeee one more song
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The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan
W.S. Gilbert

Category: Plays
Sections: 50   What's this?
Table of Contents


Non Fiction
Short Stories
Poetry
Plays
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Philosophy
Religion
Biography