Section 70 of 74 - Table of Contents
What selfimposed enigma did Bloom about to rise in order to go so as to
conclude lest he should not conclude involuntarily apprehend?
The cause of a brief sharp unforeseen heard loud lone crack emitted by
the insentient material of a strainveined timber table.
What selfinvolved enigma did Bloom risen, going, gathering multicoloured
multiform multitudinous garments, voluntarily apprehending, not
comprehend?
Who was M'Intosh?
What selfevident enigma pondered with desultory constancy during 30 years
did Bloom now, having effected natural obscurity by the extinction of
artificial light, silently suddenly comprehend?
Where was Moses when the candle went out?
What imperfections in a perfect day did Bloom, walking, charged with
collected articles of recently disvested male wearing apparel, silently,
successively, enumerate?
A provisional failure to obtain renewal of an advertisement: to obtain a
certain quantity of tea from Thomas Kernan (agent for Pulbrook, Robertson
and Co, 5 Dame Street, Dublin, and 2 Mincing Lane, London E. C.): to
certify the presence or absence of posterior rectal orifice in the case
of Hellenic female divinities: to obtain admission (gratuitous or paid)
to the performance of Leah by Mrs Bandmann Palmer at the Gaiety Theatre,
46, 47, 48, 49 South King street.
What impression of an absent face did Bloom, arrested, silently recall?
The face of her father, the late Major Brian Cooper Tweedy, Royal Dublin
Fusiliers, of Gibraltar and Rehoboth, Dolphin's Barn.
What recurrent impressions of the same were possible by hypothesis?
Retreating, at the terminus of the Great Northern Railway, Amiens street,
with constant uniform acceleration, along parallel lines meeting at
infinity, if produced: along parallel lines, reproduced from infinity,
with constant uniform retardation, at the terminus of the Great Northern
Railway, Amiens street, returning.
What miscellaneous effects of female personal wearing apparel were
perceived by him?
A pair of new inodorous halfsilk black ladies' hose, a pair of new violet
garters, a pair of outsize ladies' drawers of India mull, cut on generous
lines, redolent of opoponax, jessamine and Muratti's Turkish cigarettes
and containing a long bright steel safety pin, folded curvilinear, a
camisole of batiste with thin lace border, an accordion underskirt of
blue silk moirette, all these objects being disposed irregularly on the
top of a rectangular trunk, quadruple battened, having capped corners,
with multicoloured labels, initialled on its fore side in white lettering
B. C. T. (Brian Cooper Tweedy).
What impersonal objects were perceived?
A commode, one leg fractured, totally covered by square cretonne cutting,
apple design, on which rested a lady's black straw hat. Orangekeyed ware,
bought of Henry Price, basket, fancy goods, chinaware and ironmongery
manufacturer, 21, 22, 23 Moore street, disposed irregularly on the
washstand and floor and consisting of basin, soapdish and brushtray (on
the washstand, together), pitcher and night article (on the floor,
separate).
Bloom's acts?
He deposited the articles of clothing on a chair, removed his remaining
articles of clothing, took from beneath the bolster at the head of the
bed a folded long white nightshirt, inserted his head and arms into the
proper apertures of the nightshirt, removed a pillow from the head to the
foot of the bed, prepared the bedlinen accordingly and entered the bed.
How?
With circumspection, as invariably when entering an abode (his own or not
his own): with solicitude, the snakespiral springs of the mattress being
old, the brass quoits and pendent viper radii loose and tremulous under
stress and strain: prudently, as entering a lair or ambush of lust or
adders: lightly, the less to disturb: reverently, the bed of conception
and of birth, of consummation of marriage and of breach of marriage, of
sleep and of death.
What did his limbs, when gradually extended, encounter?
New clean bedlinen, additional odours, the presence of a human form,
female, hers, the imprint of a human form, male, not his, some crumbs,
some flakes of potted meat, recooked, which he removed.
If he had smiled why would he have smiled?
To reflect that each one who enters imagines himself to be the first to
enter whereas he is always the last term of a preceding series even if
the first term of a succeeding one, each imagining himself to be first,
last, only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only nor
alone in a series originating in and repeated to infinity.
What preceding series?
Assuming Mulvey to be the first term of his series, Penrose, Bartell
d'Arcy, professor Goodwin, Julius Mastiansky, John Henry Menton, Father
Bernard Corrigan, a farmer at the Royal Dublin Society's Horse Show,
Maggot O'Reilly, Matthew Dillon, Valentine Blake Dillon (Lord Mayor of
Dublin), Christopher Callinan, Lenehan, an Italian organgrinder, an
unknown gentleman in the Gaiety Theatre, Benjamin Dollard, Simon Dedalus,
Andrew (Pisser) Burke, Joseph Cuffe, Wisdom Hely, Alderman John Hooper,
Dr Francis Brady, Father Sebastian of Mount Argus, a bootblack at the
General Post Office, Hugh E. (Blazes) Boylan and so each and so on to no
last term.
What were his reflections concerning the last member of this series and
late occupant of the bed?
Reflections on his vigour (a bounder), corporal proportion (a
billsticker), commercial ability (a bester), impressionability (a
boaster).
Why for the observer impressionability in addition to vigour, corporal
proportion and commercial ability?
Because he had observed with augmenting frequency in the preceding
members of the same series the same concupiscence, inflammably
transmitted, first with alarm, then with understanding, then with desire,
finally with fatigue, with alternating symptoms of epicene comprehension
and apprehension.
With what antagonistic sentiments were his subsequent reflections
affected?
Envy, jealousy, abnegation, equanimity.
Envy?
Of a bodily and mental male organism specially adapted for the
superincumbent posture of energetic human copulation and energetic piston
and cylinder movement necessary for the complete satisfaction of a
constant but not acute concupiscence resident in a bodily and mental
female organism, passive but not obtuse.
Jealousy?
Because a nature full and volatile in its free state, was alternately the
agent and reagent of attraction. Because attraction between agent(s) and
reagent(s) at all instants varied, with inverse proportion of increase
and decrease, with incessant circular extension and radial reentrance.
Because the controlled contemplation of the fluctuation of attraction
produced, if desired, a fluctuation of pleasure.
Abnegation?
In virtue of a) acquaintance initiated in September 1903 in the
establishment of George Mesias, merchant tailor and outfitter, 5 Eden
Quay, b) hospitality extended and received in kind, reciprocated and
reappropriated in person, c) comparative youth subject to impulses of
ambition and magnanimity, colleagual altruism and amorous egoism, d)
extraracial attraction, intraracial inhibition, supraracial prerogative,
e) an imminent provincial musical tour, common current expenses, net
proceeds divided.
Equanimity?
As as natural as any and every natural act of a nature expressed or
understood executed in natured nature by natural creatures in accordance
with his, her and their natured natures, of dissimilar similarity. As not
so calamitous as a cataclysmic annihilation of the planet in consequence
of a collision with a dark sun. As less reprehensible than theft, highway
robbery, cruelty to children and animals, obtaining money under false
pretences, forgery, embezzlement, misappropriation of public money,
betrayal of public trust, malingering, mayhem, corruption of minors,
criminal libel, blackmail, contempt of court, arson, treason, felony,
mutiny on the high seas, trespass, burglary, jailbreaking, practice of
unnatural vice, desertion from armed forces in the field, perjury,
poaching, usury, intelligence with the king's enemies, impersonation,
criminal assault, manslaughter, wilful and premeditated murder. As not
more abnormal than all other parallel processes of adaptation to altered
conditions of existence, resulting in a reciprocal equilibrium between
the bodily organism and its attendant circumstances, foods, beverages,
acquired habits, indulged inclinations, significant disease. As more than
inevitable, irreparable.
Why more abnegation than jealousy, less envy than equanimity?
From outrage (matrimony) to outrage (adultery) there arose nought but
outrage (copulation) yet the matrimonial violator of the matrimonially
violated had not been outraged by the adulterous violator of the
adulterously violated.
What retribution, if any?
Assassination, never, as two wrongs did not make one right. Duel by
combat, no. Divorce, not now. Exposure by mechanical artifice (automatic
bed) or individual testimony (concealed ocular witnesses), not yet. Suit
for damages by legal influence or simulation of assault with evidence of
injuries sustained (selfinflicted), not impossibly. Hushmoney by moral
influence possibly. If any, positively, connivance, introduction of
emulation (material, a prosperous rival agency of publicity: moral, a
successful rival agent of intimacy), depreciation, alienation,
humiliation, separation protecting the one separated from the other,
protecting the separator from both.
By what reflections did he, a conscious reactor against the void of
incertitude, justify to himself his sentiments?
The preordained frangibility of the hymen: the presupposed intangibility
of the thing in itself: the incongruity and disproportion between the
selfprolonging tension of the thing proposed to be done and the
selfabbreviating relaxation of the thing done; the fallaciously inferred
debility of the female: the muscularity of the male: the variations of
ethical codes: the natural grammatical transition by inversion involving
no alteration of sense of an aorist preterite proposition (parsed as
masculine subject, monosyllabic onomatopoeic transitive verb with direct
feminine object) from the active voice into its correlative aorist
preterite proposition (parsed as feminine subject, auxiliary verb and
quasimonosyllabic onomatopoeic past participle with complementary
masculine agent) in the passive voice: the continued product of
seminators by generation: the continual production of semen by
distillation: the futility of triumph or protest or vindication: the
inanity of extolled virtue: the lethargy of nescient matter: the apathy
of the stars.
In what final satisfaction did these antagonistic sentiments and
reflections, reduced to their simplest forms, converge?
Satisfaction at the ubiquity in eastern and western terrestrial
hemispheres, in all habitable lands and islands explored or unexplored
(the land of the midnight sun, the islands of the blessed, the isles of
Greece, the land of promise), of adipose anterior and posterior female
hemispheres, redolent of milk and honey and of excretory sanguine and
seminal warmth, reminiscent of secular families of curves of amplitude,
insusceptible of moods of impression or of contrarieties of expression,
expressive of mute immutable mature animality.
The visible signs of antesatisfaction?
An approximate erection: a solicitous adversion: a gradual elevation: a
tentative revelation: a silent contemplation.
Then?
He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on each
plump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscure
prolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.
The visible signs of postsatisfaction?
A silent contemplation: a tentative velation: a gradual abasement: a
solicitous aversion: a proximate erection.
What followed this silent action?
Somnolent invocation, less somnolent recognition, incipient excitation,
catechetical interrogation.
With what modifications did the narrator reply to this interrogation?
Negative: he omitted to mention the clandestine correspondence between
Martha Clifford and Henry Flower, the public altercation at, in and in
the vicinity of the licensed premises of Bernard Kiernan and Co, Limited,
8, 9 and 10 Little Britain street, the erotic provocation and response
thereto caused by the exhibitionism of Gertrude (Gerty), surname unknown.
Positive: he included mention of a performance by Mrs Bandmann Palmer of
LEAH at the Gaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South King street, an
invitation to supper at Wynn's (Murphy's) Hotel, 35, 36 and 37 Lower
Abbey street, a volume of peccaminous pornographical tendency entituled
SWEETS OF SIN, anonymous author a gentleman of fashion, a temporary
concussion caused by a falsely calculated movement in the course of a
postcenal gymnastic display, the victim (since completely recovered)
being Stephen Dedalus, professor and author, eldest surviving son of
Simon Dedalus, of no fixed occupation, an aeronautical feat executed by
him (narrator) in the presence of a witness, the professor and author
aforesaid, with promptitude of decision and gymnastic flexibility.
Was the narration otherwise unaltered by modifications?
Absolutely.
Which event or person emerged as the salient point of his narration?
Stephen Dedalus, professor and author.
What limitations of activity and inhibitions of conjugal rights were
perceived by listener and narrator concerning themselves during the
course of this intermittent and increasingly more laconic narration?
By the listener a limitation of fertility inasmuch as marriage had been
celebrated 1 calendar month after the 18th anniversary of her birth (8
September 1870), viz. 8 October, and consummated on the same date with
female issue born 15 June 1889, having been anticipatorily consummated on
the lo September of the same year and complete carnal intercourse, with
ejaculation of semen within the natural female organ, having last taken
place 5 weeks previous, viz. 27 November 1893, to the birth on 29
December 1893 of second (and only male) issue, deceased 9 January 1894,
aged 11 days, there remained a period of 10 years, 5 months and 18 days
during which carnal intercourse had been incomplete, without ejaculation
of semen within the natural female organ. By the narrator a limitation of
activity, mental and corporal, inasmuch as complete mental intercourse
between himself and the listener had not taken place since the
consummation of puberty, indicated by catamenic hemorrhage, of the female
issue of narrator and listener, 15 September 1903, there remained a
period of 9 months and 1 day during which, in consequence of a
preestablished natural comprehension in incomprehension between the
consummated females (listener and issue), complete corporal liberty of
action had been circumscribed.
How?
By various reiterated feminine interrogation concerning the masculine
destination whither, the place where, the time at which, the duration for
which, the object with which in the case of temporary absences, projected
or effected.
What moved visibly above the listener's and the narrator's invisible
thoughts?
The upcast reflection of a lamp and shade, an inconstant series of
concentric circles of varying gradations of light and shadow.
In what directions did listener and narrator lie?
Listener, S. E. by E.: Narrator, N. W. by W.: on the 53rd parallel of
latitude, N., and 6th meridian of longitude, W.: at an angle of 45
degrees to the terrestrial equator.
In what state of rest or motion?
At rest relatively to themselves and to each other. In motion being each
and both carried westward, forward and rereward respectively, by the
proper perpetual motion of the earth through everchanging tracks of
neverchanging space.
In what posture?
Listener: reclined semilaterally, left, left hand under head, right leg
extended in a straight line and resting on left leg, flexed, in the
attitude of Gea-Tellus, fulfilled, recumbent, big with seed. Narrator:
reclined laterally, left, with right and left legs flexed, the index
finger and thumb of the right hand resting on the bridge of the nose, in
the attitude depicted in a snapshot photograph made by Percy Apjohn, the
childman weary, the manchild in the womb.
Womb? Weary?
He rests. He has travelled.
With?
Sinbad the Sailor and Tinbad the Tailor and Jinbad the Jailer and Whinbad
the Whaler and Ninbad the Nailer and Finbad the Failer and Binbad the
Bailer and Pinbad the Pailer and Minbad the Mailer and Hinbad the Hailer
and Rinbad the Railer and Dinbad the Kailer and Vinbad the Quailer and
Linbad the Yailer and Xinbad the Phthailer.
When?
Going to dark bed there was a square round Sinbad the Sailor roc's auk's
egg in the night of the bed of all the auks of the rocs of Darkinbad the
Brightdayler.
Where?
* * * * * * *
Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to get his
breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the CITY ARMS hotel when he
used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his highness
to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he
thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing all for
masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid
to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me all her ailments she
had too much old chat in her about politics and earthquakes and the end
of the world let us have a bit of fun first God help the world if all the
women were her sort down on bathingsuits and lownecks of course nobody
wanted her to wear them I suppose she was pious because no man would look
at her twice I hope Ill never be like her a wonder she didnt want us to
cover our faces but she was a welleducated woman certainly and her gabby
talk about Mr Riordan here and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to
get shut of her and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up
under my petticoats especially then still I like that in him polite to
old women like that and waiters and beggars too hes not proud out of
nothing but not always if ever he got anything really serious the matter
with him its much better for them to go into a hospital where everything
is clean but I suppose Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and
then wed have a hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying
there till they throw him out or a nun maybe like the smutty photo he has
shes as much a nun as Im not yes because theyre so weak and puling when
theyre sick they want a woman to get well if his nose bleeds youd think
it was O tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when he
sprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the day I
wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones she
could find at the bottom of the basket anything at all to get into a mans
bedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dying on
account of her to never see thy face again though he looked more like a
man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the same besides I
hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razor paring his
corns afraid hed get bloodpoisoning but if it was a thing I was sick then
wed see what attention only of course the woman hides it not to give all
the trouble they do yes he came somewhere Im sure by his appetite anyway
love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of her so either it was one
of those night women if it was down there he was really and the hotel
story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who
did I meet ah yes I met do you remember Menton and who else who let me
see that big babbyface I saw him and he not long married flirting with a
young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my back on him when he slinked
out looking quite conscious what harm but he had the impudence to make up
to me one time well done to him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all
the big stupoes I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate
having a long wrangle in bed or else if its not that its some little
bitch or other he got in with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they
only knew him as well as I do yes because the day before yesterday he was
scribbling something a letter when I came into the front room to show him
Dignams death in the paper as if something told me and he covered it up
with the blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very
probably that was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him
because all men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to
forty he is now so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no fool
like an old fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not
that I care two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way
though Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under
my nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace
padding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smell of
those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by getting
him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coat without that
one when I went into the kitchen pretending he was drinking water 1 woman
is not enough for them it was all his fault of course ruining servants
then proposing that she could eat at our table on Christmas day if you
please O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the
oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if you please common
robbery so it was but I was sure he had something on with that one it
takes me to find out a thing like that he said you have no proof it was
her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters but I told her what I
thought of her suggesting me to go out to be alone with her I wouldnt
lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in her room the Friday
she was out that was enough for me a little bit too much her face swelled
up on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice I saw to that
better do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only
for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow
either she or me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought
he was with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that one denying it up
to my face and singing about the place in the W C too because she knew
she was too well off yes because he couldnt possibly do without it that
long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my bottom
when was it the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along by
the Tolka in my hand there steals another I just pressed the back of his
like that with my thumb to squeeze back singing the young May moon shes
beaming love because he has an idea about him and me hes not such a fool
he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give
him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to
be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some
nicelooking boy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like
me Id confuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see my
garters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him I
know what boys feel with that down on their cheek doing that frigging
drawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do this
that and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would because
I told him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in the jews
temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to
Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments and he tired me
out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he is who is in
your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it tell me his name
who tell me who the german Emperor is it yes imagine Im him think of him
can you feel him trying to make a whore of me what he never will he ought
to give it up now at this age of his life simply ruination for any woman
and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till he comes and then
finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow its done
now once and for all with all the talk of the world about it people make
its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think
no more about it why cant you kiss a man without going and marrying him
first you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all
over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me
sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms theres nothing like a
kiss long and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that
confession when I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and
what harm if he did where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but
whereabouts on your person my child on the leg behind high up was it yes
rather high up was it where you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom
right out and have done with it what has that got to do with it and did
you whatever way he put it I forget no father and I always think of the
real father what did he want to know for when I already confessed it to
God he had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling
it neither would he Id say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder
did he know me in the box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of
course hed never turn or let on still his eyes were red when his father
died theyre lost for a woman of course must be terrible when a man cries
let alone them Id like to be embraced by one in his vestments and the
smell of incense off him like the pope besides theres no danger with a
priest if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something
to H H the pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing
I didnt like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall
though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking
of his fathers I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in it
who gave him that flower he said he bought he smelt of some kind of drink
not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste they stick their
bills up with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and
yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the opera
hats I tasted once with my finger dipped out of that American that had
the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could do to keep
himself from falling asleep after the last time after we took the port
and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes because I felt lovely and
tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped
straight into bed till that thunder woke me up God be merciful to us I
thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish us when I blessed
myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in Gibraltar as
if the world was coming to an end and then they come and tell you theres
no God what could you do if it was running and rushing about nothing only
make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars
street chapel for the month of May see it brought its luck though hed
scoff if he heard because he never goes to church mass or meeting he says
your soul you have no soul inside only grey matter because he doesnt know
what it is to have one yes when I lit the lamp because he must have come
3 or 4 times with that tremendous big red brute of a thing he has I
thought the vein or whatever the dickens they call it was going to burst
though his nose is not so big after I took off all my things with the
blinds down after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like
iron or some kind of a thick crowbar standing all the time he must have
eaten oysters I think a few dozen he was in great singing voice no I
never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make you
feel full up he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making
us like that with a big hole in the middle of us or like a Stallion
driving it up into you because thats all they want out of you with that
determined vicious look in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he
hasnt such a tremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out
and do it on me considering how big it is so much the better in case any
of it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me
nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if
someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through
with Milly nobody would believe cutting her teeth too and Mina Purefoys
husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child
or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with a smell of
children off her the one they called budgers or something like a nigger
with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a black the last time I
was there a squad of them falling over one another and bawling you
couldnt hear your ears supposed to be healthy not satisfied till they
have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know what supposing I risked
having another not off him though still if he was married Im sure hed
have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him yes
thatd be awfully jolly I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the
funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him off well he can think
what he likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a
bit when I came on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the
night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down
my neck it was on account of not liking to see her a wallflower that was
why we had the standup row over politics he began it not me when he said
about Our Lord being a carpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman
is so sensitive about everything I was fuming with myself after for
giving in only for I knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he
said He was he annoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still
he knows a lot of mixedup things especially about the body and the inside
I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that
family physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was
crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on with her
over him because he used to be a bit on the jealous side whenever he
asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me the
present of Byron's poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished
that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I know how Id
even supposing he got in with her again and was going out to see her
somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know plenty of ways
ask him to tuck down the collar of my blouse or touch him with my veil
and gloves on going out I kiss then would send them all spinning however
alright well see then let him go to her she of course would only be too
delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him that I wouldnt so much
mind Id just go to her and ask her do you love him and look her square in
the eyes she couldnt fool me but he might imagine he was and make a
declaration to her with his plabbery kind of a manner like he did to me
though I had the devils own job to get it out of him though I liked him
for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to be got for the asking he
was on the pop of asking me too the night in the kitchen I was rolling
the potato cake theres something I want to say to you only for I put him
off letting on I was in a temper with my hands and arms full of pasty
flour in any case I let out too much the night before talking of dreams
so I didnt want to let him know more than was good for him she used to be
always embracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course
glauming me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possible
asking me and did you wash possible the women are always egging on to
that putting it on thick when hes there they know by his sly eye blinking
a bit putting on the indifferent when they come out with something the
kind he is what spoils him I dont wonder in the least because he was very
handsome at that time trying to look like Lord Byron I said I liked
though he was too beautiful for a man and he was a little before we got
engaged afterwards though she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits
of laughing with the giggles I couldnt stop about all my hairpins falling
out one after another with the mass of hair I had youre always in great
humour she said yes because it grigged her because she knew what it meant
because I used to tell her a good bit of what went on between us not all
but just enough to make her mouth water but that wasnt my fault she didnt
darken the door much after we were married I wonder what shes got like
now after living with that dotty husband of hers she had her face
beginning to look drawn and run down the last time I saw her she must
have been just after a row with him because I saw on the moment she was
edging to draw down a conversation about husbands and talk about him to
run him down what was it she told me O yes that sometimes he used to go
to bed with his muddy boots on when the maggot takes him just imagine
having to get into bed with a thing like that that might murder you any
moment what a man well its not the one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow
whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat when he comes in wet or
shine and always blacks his own boots too and he always takes off his hat
when he comes up in the street like then and now hes going about in his
slippers to look for 10000 pounds for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May
wouldnt a thing like that simply bore you stiff to extinction actually
too stupid even to take his boots off now what could you make of a man
like that Id rather die 20 times over than marry another of their sex of
course hed never find another woman like me to put up with him the way I
do know me come sleep with me yes and he knows that too at the bottom of
his heart take that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband for what I
wonder in love with some other man yes it was found out on her wasnt she
the downright villain to go and do a thing like that of course some men
can be dreadfully aggravating drive you mad and always the worst word in
the world what do they ask us to marry them for if were so bad as all
that comes to yes because they cant get on without us white Arsenic she
put in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I wonder why they call it that if I
asked him hed say its from the Greek leave us as wise as we were before
she must have been madly in love with the other fellow to run the chance
of being hanged O she didnt care if that was her nature what could she do
besides theyre not brutes enough to go and hang a woman surely are they
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