Section 14 of 74 - Table of Contents
The professor grinned, locking his long lips.
--Eh? You bloody old Roman empire? Myles Crawford said.
He took a cigarette from the open case. Lenehan, lighting it for him
with quick grace, said:
--Silence for my brandnew riddle!
--IMPERIUM ROMANUM, J. J. O'Molloy said gently. It sounds nobler than
British or Brixton. The word reminds one somehow of fat in the fire.
Myles Crawford blew his first puff violently towards the ceiling.
--That's it, he said. We are the fat. You and I are the fat in the fire.
We haven't got the chance of a snowball in hell.
THE GRANDEUR THAT WAS ROME
--Wait a moment, professor MacHugh said, raising two quiet claws. We
mustn't be led away by words, by sounds of words. We think of Rome,
imperial, imperious, imperative.
He extended elocutionary arms from frayed stained shirtcuffs, pausing:
--What was their civilisation? Vast, I allow: but vile. Cloacae: sewers.
The Jews in the wilderness and on the mountaintop said: IT IS MEET TO BE
HERE. LET US BUILD AN ALTAR TO JEHOVAH. The Roman, like the Englishman who
follows in his footsteps, brought to every new shore on which he set his
foot (on our shore he never set it) only his cloacal obsession. He gazed
about him in his toga and he said: IT IS MEET TO BE HERE. LET US CONSTRUCT
A WATERCLOSET.
--Which they accordingly did do, Lenehan said. Our old ancient ancestors,
as we read in the first chapter of Guinness's, were partial to the running
stream.
--They were nature's gentlemen, J. J. O'Molloy murmured. But we have
also Roman law.
--And Pontius Pilate is its prophet, professor MacHugh responded.
--Do you know that story about chief baron Palles? J. J. O'Molloy asked.
It was at the royal university dinner. Everything was going
swimmingly ...
--First my riddle, Lenehan said. Are you ready?
Mr O'Madden Burke, tall in copious grey of Donegal tweed, came in
from the hallway. Stephen Dedalus, behind him, uncovered as he entered.
--ENTREZ, MES ENFANTS! Lenehan cried.
--I escort a suppliant, Mr O'Madden Burke said melodiously. Youth led by
Experience visits Notoriety.
--How do you do? the editor said, holding out a hand. Come in. Your
governor is just gone.
? ? ?
Lenehan said to all:
--Silence! What opera resembles a railwayline? Reflect, ponder,
excogitate, reply.
Stephen handed over the typed sheets, pointing to the title and signature.
--Who? the editor asked.
Bit torn off.
--Mr Garrett Deasy, Stephen said.
--That old pelters, the editor said. Who tore it? Was he short taken?
ON SWIFT SAIL FLAMING
FROM STORM AND SOUTH
HE COMES, PALE VAMPIRE,
MOUTH TO MY MOUTH.
--Good day, Stephen, the professor said, coming to peer over their
shoulders. Foot and mouth? Are you turned ...?
Bullockbefriending bard.
SHINDY IN WELLKNOWN RESTAURANT
--Good day, sir, Stephen answered blushing. The letter is not mine. Mr
Garrett Deasy asked me to ...
--O, I know him, Myles Crawford said, and I knew his wife too. The
bloodiest old tartar God ever made. By Jesus, she had the foot and mouth
disease and no mistake! The night she threw the soup in the waiter's face
in the Star and Garter. Oho!
A woman brought sin into the world. For Helen, the runaway wife of
Menelaus, ten years the Greeks. O'Rourke, prince of Breffni.
--Is he a widower? Stephen asked.
--Ay, a grass one, Myles Crawford said, his eye running down the
typescript. Emperor's horses. Habsburg. An Irishman saved his life on the
ramparts of Vienna. Don't you forget! Maximilian Karl O'Donnell, graf
von Tirconnell in Ireland. Sent his heir over to make the king an Austrian
fieldmarshal now. Going to be trouble there one day. Wild geese. O yes,
every time. Don't you forget that!
--The moot point is did he forget it, J. J. O'Molloy said quietly,
turning a horseshoe paperweight. Saving princes is a thank you job.
Professor MacHugh turned on him.
--And if not? he said.
--I'll tell you how it was, Myles Crawford began. A Hungarian it was one
day ...
LOST CAUSES
NOBLE MARQUESS MENTIONED
--We were always loyal to lost causes, the professor said. Success for us
is the death of the intellect and of the imagination. We were never loyal
to the successful. We serve them. I teach the blatant Latin language. I
speak the tongue of a race the acme of whose mentality is the maxim: time
is money. Material domination. DOMINUS! Lord! Where is the spirituality?
Lord Jesus? Lord Salisbury? A sofa in a westend club. But the Greek!
KYRIE ELEISON!
A smile of light brightened his darkrimmed eyes, lengthened his long
lips.
--The Greek! he said again. KYRIOS! Shining word! The vowels the Semite
and the Saxon know not. KYRIE! The radiance of the intellect. I ought to
profess Greek, the language of the mind. KYRIE ELEISON! The closetmaker
and the cloacamaker will never be lords of our spirit. We are liege
subjects of the catholic chivalry of Europe that foundered at Trafalgar
and of the empire of the spirit, not an IMPERIUM, that went under with the
Athenian fleets at Aegospotami. Yes, yes. They went under. Pyrrhus, misled
by an oracle, made a last attempt to retrieve the fortunes of Greece.
Loyal to a lost cause.
He strode away from them towards the window.
--They went forth to battle, Mr O'Madden Burke said greyly, but they
always fell.
--Boohoo! Lenehan wept with a little noise. Owing to a brick received in
the latter half of the MATINEE. Poor, poor, poor Pyrrhus!
He whispered then near Stephen's ear:
LENEHAN'S LIMERICK
--THERE'S A PONDEROUS PUNDIT MACHUGH
WHO WEARS GOGGLES OF EBONY HUE.
AS HE MOSTLY SEES DOUBLE
TO WEAR THEM WHY TROUBLE?
I CAN'T SEE THE JOE MILLER. CAN YOU?
In mourning for Sallust, Mulligan says. Whose mother is beastly dead.
Myles Crawford crammed the sheets into a sidepocket.
--That'll be all right, he said. I'll read the rest after. That'll be all
right.
Lenehan extended his hands in protest.
--But my riddle! he said. What opera is like a railwayline?
--Opera? Mr O'Madden Burke's sphinx face reriddled.
Lenehan announced gladly:
--THE ROSE OF CASTILE. See the wheeze? Rows of cast steel. Gee!
He poked Mr O'Madden Burke mildly in the spleen. Mr O'Madden Burke
fell back with grace on his umbrella, feigning a gasp.
--Help! he sighed. I feel a strong weakness.
Lenehan, rising to tiptoe, fanned his face rapidly with the rustling
tissues.
The professor, returning by way of the files, swept his hand across
Stephen's and Mr O'Madden Burke's loose ties.
--Paris, past and present, he said. You look like communards.
--Like fellows who had blown up the Bastile, J. J. O'Molloy said in quiet
mockery. Or was it you shot the lord lieutenant of Finland between you?
You look as though you had done the deed. General Bobrikoff.
OMNIUM GATHERUM
--We were only thinking about it, Stephen said.
--All the talents, Myles Crawford said. Law, the classics ...
--The turf, Lenehan put in.
--Literature, the press.
--If Bloom were here, the professor said. The gentle art of advertisement.
--And Madam Bloom, Mr O'Madden Burke added. The vocal muse. Dublin's
prime favourite.
Lenehan gave a loud cough.
--Ahem! he said very softly. O, for a fresh of breath air! I caught a
cold in the park. The gate was open.
YOU CAN DO IT!
The editor laid a nervous hand on Stephen's shoulder.
--I want you to write something for me, he said. Something with a bite in
it. You can do it. I see it in your face. IN THE LEXICON OF YOUTH ...
See it in your face. See it in your eye. Lazy idle little schemer.
--Foot and mouth disease! the editor cried in scornful invective. Great
nationalist meeting in Borris-in-Ossory. All balls! Bulldosing the public!
Give them something with a bite in it. Put us all into it, damn its soul.
Father, Son and Holy Ghost and Jakes M'Carthy.
--We can all supply mental pabulum, Mr O'Madden Burke said.
Stephen raised his eyes to the bold unheeding stare.
--He wants you for the pressgang, J. J. O'Molloy said.
THE GREAT GALLAHER
--You can do it, Myles Crawford repeated, clenching his hand in emphasis.
Wait a minute. We'll paralyse Europe as Ignatius Gallaher used to say when
he was on the shaughraun, doing billiardmarking in the Clarence. Gallaher,
that was a pressman for you. That was a pen. You know how he made his
mark? I'll tell you. That was the smartest piece of journalism ever known.
That was in eightyone, sixth of May, time of the invincibles, murder in
the Phoenix park, before you were born, I suppose. I'll show you.
He pushed past them to the files.
--Look at here, he said turning. The NEW YORK WORLD cabled for a special.
Remember that time?
Professor MacHugh nodded.
--NEW YORK WORLD, the editor said, excitedly pushing back his straw hat.
Where it took place. Tim Kelly, or Kavanagh I mean. Joe Brady and the
rest of them. Where Skin-the-Goat drove the car. Whole route, see?
--Skin-the-Goat, Mr O'Madden Burke said. Fitzharris. He has that
cabman's shelter, they say, down there at Butt bridge. Holohan told me.
You know Holohan?
--Hop and carry one, is it? Myles Crawford said.
--And poor Gumley is down there too, so he told me, minding stones for
the corporation. A night watchman.
Stephen turned in surprise.
--Gumley? he said. You don't say so? A friend of my father's, is it?
--Never mind Gumley, Myles Crawford cried angrily. Let Gumley mind
the stones, see they don't run away. Look at here. What did Ignatius
Gallaher do? I'll tell you. Inspiration of genius. Cabled right away. Have
you WEEKLY FREEMAN of 17 March? Right. Have you got that?
He flung back pages of the files and stuck his finger on a point.
--Take page four, advertisement for Bransome's coffee, let us say. Have
you got that? Right.
The telephone whirred.
A DISTANT VOICE
--I'll answer it, the professor said, going.
--B is parkgate. Good.
His finger leaped and struck point after point, vibrating.
--T is viceregal lodge. C is where murder took place. K is Knockmaroon
gate.
The loose flesh of his neck shook like a cock's wattles. An illstarched
dicky jutted up and with a rude gesture he thrust it back into his
waistcoat.
--Hello? EVENING TELEGRAPH here ... Hello?... Who's there? ...
Yes ... Yes ... Yes.
--F to P is the route Skin-the-Goat drove the car for an alibi, Inchicore,
Roundtown, Windy Arbour, Palmerston Park, Ranelagh. F.A.B.P. Got that?
X is Davy's publichouse in upper Leeson street.
The professor came to the inner door.
--Bloom is at the telephone, he said.
--Tell him go to hell, the editor said promptly. X is Davy's publichouse,
see?
CLEVER, VERY
--Clever, Lenehan said. Very.
--Gave it to them on a hot plate, Myles Crawford said, the whole bloody
history.
Nightmare from which you will never awake.
--I saw it, the editor said proudly. I was present. Dick Adams, the
besthearted bloody Corkman the Lord ever put the breath of life in, and
myself.
Lenehan bowed to a shape of air, announcing:
--Madam, I'm Adam. And Able was I ere I saw Elba.
--History! Myles Crawford cried. The Old Woman of Prince's street was
there first. There was weeping and gnashing of teeth over that. Out of an
advertisement. Gregor Grey made the design for it. That gave him the leg
up. Then Paddy Hooper worked Tay Pay who took him on to the STAR.
Now he's got in with Blumenfeld. That's press. That's talent. Pyatt! He
was all their daddies!
--The father of scare journalism, Lenehan confirmed, and the
brother-in-law of Chris Callinan.
--Hello? ... Are you there? ... Yes, he's here still. Come across
yourself.
--Where do you find a pressman like that now, eh? the editor cried.
He flung the pages down.
--Clamn dever, Lenehan said to Mr O'Madden Burke.
--Very smart, Mr O'Madden Burke said.
Professor MacHugh came from the inner office.
--Talking about the invincibles, he said, did you see that some hawkers
were up before the recorder ...
--O yes, J. J. O'Molloy said eagerly. Lady Dudley was walking home
through the park to see all the trees that were blown down by that cyclone
last year and thought she'd buy a view of Dublin. And it turned out to be
a commemoration postcard of Joe Brady or Number One or Skin-the-Goat.
Right outside the viceregal lodge, imagine!
--They're only in the hook and eye department, Myles Crawford said.
Psha! Press and the bar! Where have you a man now at the bar like those
fellows, like Whiteside, like Isaac Butt, like silvertongued O'Hagan. Eh?
Ah, bloody nonsense. Psha! Only in the halfpenny place.
His mouth continued to twitch unspeaking in nervous curls of disdain.
Would anyone wish that mouth for her kiss? How do you know? Why did
you write it then?
RHYMES AND REASONS
Mouth, south. Is the mouth south someway? Or the south a mouth?
Must be some. South, pout, out, shout, drouth. Rhymes: two men dressed
the same, looking the same, two by two.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .LA TUA PACE
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .CHE PARLAR TI PIACE
. . . . .MENTREM CHE IL VENTO, COME FA, SI TACE.
He saw them three by three, approaching girls, in green, in rose, in
russet, entwining, PER L'AER PERSO, in mauve, in purple, QUELLA PACIFICA
ORIAFIAMMA, gold of oriflamme, DI RIMIRAR FE PIU ARDENTI. But I old men,
penitent, leadenfooted, underdarkneath the night: mouth south: tomb womb.
--Speak up for yourself, Mr O'Madden Burke said.
SUFFICIENT FOR THE DAY ...
J. J. O'Molloy, smiling palely, took up the gage.
--My dear Myles, he said, flinging his cigarette aside, you put a false
construction on my words. I hold no brief, as at present advised, for the
third profession qua profession but your Cork legs are running away with
you. Why not bring in Henry Grattan and Flood and Demosthenes and
Edmund Burke? Ignatius Gallaher we all know and his Chapelizod boss,
Harmsworth of the farthing press, and his American cousin of the Bowery
guttersheet not to mention PADDY KELLY'S BUDGET, PUE'S OCCURRENCES and our
watchful friend THE SKIBBEREEN EAGLE. Why bring in a master of forensic
eloquence like Whiteside? Sufficient for the day is the newspaper thereof.
LINKS WITH BYGONE DAYS OF YORE
--Grattan and Flood wrote for this very paper, the editor cried in his
face. Irish volunteers. Where are you now? Established 1763. Dr Lucas.
Who have you now like John Philpot Curran? Psha!
--Well, J. J. O'Molloy said, Bushe K.C., for example.
--Bushe? the editor said. Well, yes: Bushe, yes. He has a strain of it in
his blood. Kendal Bushe or I mean Seymour Bushe.
--He would have been on the bench long ago, the professor said, only
for ... But no matter.
J. J. O'Molloy turned to Stephen and said quietly and slowly:
--One of the most polished periods I think I ever listened to in my life
fell from the lips of Seymour Bushe. It was in that case of fratricide,
the Childs murder case. Bushe defended him.
AND IN THE PORCHES OF MINE EAR DID POUR.
By the way how did he find that out? He died in his sleep. Or the
other story, beast with two backs?
--What was that? the professor asked.
ITALIA, MAGISTRA ARTIUM
--He spoke on the law of evidence, J. J. O'Molloy said, of Roman justice
as contrasted with the earlier Mosaic code, the LEX TALIONIS. And he cited
the Moses of Michelangelo in the vatican.
--Ha.
--A few wellchosen words, Lenehan prefaced. Silence!
Pause. J. J. O'Molloy took out his cigarettecase.
False lull. Something quite ordinary.
Messenger took out his matchbox thoughtfully and lit his cigar.
I have often thought since on looking back over that strange time that
it was that small act, trivial in itself, that striking of that match,
that determined the whole aftercourse of both our lives.
A POLISHED PERIOD
J. J. O'Molloy resumed, moulding his words:
--He said of it: THAT STONY EFFIGY IN FROZEN MUSIC, HORNED AND TERRIBLE,
OF THE HUMAN FORM DIVINE, THAT ETERNAL SYMBOL OF WISDOM AND OF PROPHECY
WHICH, IF AUGHT THAT THE IMAGINATION OR THE HAND OF SCULPTOR HAS WROUGHT
IN MARBLE OF SOULTRANSFIGURED AND OF SOULTRANSFIGURING DESERVES TO LIVE,
DESERVES TO LIVE.
His slim hand with a wave graced echo and fall.
--Fine! Myles Crawford said at once.
--The divine afflatus, Mr O'Madden Burke said.
--You like it? J. J. O'Molloy asked Stephen.
Stephen, his blood wooed by grace of language and gesture, blushed.
He took a cigarette from the case. J. J. O'Molloy offered his case to
Myles Crawford. Lenehan lit their cigarettes as before and took his
trophy, saying:
--Muchibus thankibus.
A MAN OF HIGH MORALE
--Professor Magennis was speaking to me about you, J. J. O'Molloy said to
Stephen. What do you think really of that hermetic crowd, the opal hush
poets: A. E. the mastermystic? That Blavatsky woman started it. She was a
nice old bag of tricks. A. E. has been telling some yankee interviewer
that you came to him in the small hours of the morning to ask him about
planes of consciousness. Magennis thinks you must have been pulling
A. E.'s leg. He is a man of the very highest morale, Magennis.
Speaking about me. What did he say? What did he say? What did he
say about me? Don't ask.
--No, thanks, professor MacHugh said, waving the cigarettecase aside.
Wait a moment. Let me say one thing. The finest display of oratory I ever
heard was a speech made by John F Taylor at the college historical
society. Mr Justice Fitzgibbon, the present lord justice of appeal, had
spoken and the paper under debate was an essay (new for those days),
advocating the revival of the Irish tongue.
He turned towards Myles Crawford and said:
--You know Gerald Fitzgibbon. Then you can imagine the style of his
discourse.
--He is sitting with Tim Healy, J. J. O'Molloy said, rumour has it, on
the Trinity college estates commission.
--He is sitting with a sweet thing, Myles Crawford said, in a child's
frock. Go on. Well?
--It was the speech, mark you, the professor said, of a finished orator,
full of courteous haughtiness and pouring in chastened diction I will not
say the vials of his wrath but pouring the proud man's contumely upon the
new movement. It was then a new movement. We were weak, therefore
worthless.
He closed his long thin lips an instant but, eager to be on, raised an
outspanned hand to his spectacles and, with trembling thumb and
ringfinger touching lightly the black rims, steadied them to a new focus.
IMPROMPTU
In ferial tone he addressed J. J. O'Molloy:
--Taylor had come there, you must know, from a sickbed. That he had
prepared his speech I do not believe for there was not even one
shorthandwriter in the hall. His dark lean face had a growth of shaggy
beard round it. He wore a loose white silk neckcloth and altogether he
looked (though he was not) a dying man.
His gaze turned at once but slowly from J. J. O'Molloy's towards
Stephen's face and then bent at once to the ground, seeking. His unglazed
linen collar appeared behind his bent head, soiled by his withering hair.
Still seeking, he said:
--When Fitzgibbon's speech had ended John F Taylor rose to reply.
Briefly, as well as I can bring them to mind, his words were these.
He raised his head firmly. His eyes bethought themselves once more.
Witless shellfish swam in the gross lenses to and fro, seeking outlet.
He began:
--MR CHAIRMAN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: GREAT WAS MY ADMIRATION IN LISTENING
TO THE REMARKS ADDRESSED TO THE YOUTH OF IRELAND A MOMENT SINCE BY MY
LEARNED FRIEND. IT SEEMED TO ME THAT I HAD BEEN TRANSPORTED INTO A COUNTRY
FAR AWAY FROM THIS COUNTRY, INTO AN AGE REMOTE FROM THIS AGE, THAT I STOOD
IN ANCIENT EGYPT AND THAT I WAS LISTENING TO THE SPEECH OF SOME HIGHPRIEST
OF THAT LAND ADDRESSED TO THE YOUTHFUL MOSES.
His listeners held their cigarettes poised to hear, their smokes
ascending in frail stalks that flowered with his speech. And let our
crooked smokes. Noble words coming. Look out. Could you try your hand at
it yourself?
--AND IT SEEMED TO ME THAT I HEARD THE VOICE OF THAT EGYPTIAN HIGHPRIEST
RAISED IN A TONE OF LIKE HAUGHTINESS AND LIKE PRIDE. I HEARD HIS WORDS AND
THEIR MEANING WAS REVEALED TO ME.
FROM THE FATHERS
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