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Robinson Crusoe

Daniel Defoe

Section 28 of 41 - Table of Contents
CHAPTER XIV - A DREAM REALISED



HAVING now brought all my things on shore and secured them, I went
back to my boat, and rowed or paddled her along the shore to her
old harbour, where I laid her up, and made the best of my way to my
old habitation, where I found everything safe and quiet.  I began
now to repose myself, live after my old fashion, and take care of
my family affairs; and for a while I lived easy enough, only that I
was more vigilant than I used to be, looked out oftener, and did
not go abroad so much; and if at any time I did stir with any
freedom, it was always to the east part of the island, where I was
pretty well satisfied the savages never came, and where I could go
without so many precautions, and such a load of arms and ammunition
as I always carried with me if I went the other way.  I lived in
this condition near two years more; but my unlucky head, that was
always to let me know it was born to make my body miserable, was
all these two years filled with projects and designs how, if it
were possible, I might get away from this island: for sometimes I
was for making another voyage to the wreck, though my reason told
me that there was nothing left there worth the hazard of my voyage;
sometimes for a ramble one way, sometimes another - and I believe
verily, if I had had the boat that I went from Sallee in, I should
have ventured to sea, bound anywhere, I knew not whither.  I have
been, in all my circumstances, a memento to those who are touched
with the general plague of mankind, whence, for aught I know, one
half of their miseries flow: I mean that of not being satisfied
with the station wherein God and Nature hath placed them - for, not
to look back upon my primitive condition, and the excellent advice
of my father, the opposition to which was, as I may call it, my
ORIGINAL SIN, my subsequent mistakes of the same kind had been the
means of my coming into this miserable condition; for had that
Providence which so happily seated me at the Brazils as a planter
blessed me with confined desires, and I could have been contented
to have gone on gradually, I might have been by this time - I mean
in the time of my being in this island - one of the most
considerable planters in the Brazils - nay, I am persuaded, that by
the improvements I had made in that little time I lived there, and
the increase I should probably have made if I had remained, I might
have been worth a hundred thousand moidores - and what business had
I to leave a settled fortune, a well-stocked plantation, improving
and increasing, to turn supercargo to Guinea to fetch negroes, when
patience and time would have so increased our stock at home, that
we could have bought them at our own door from those whose business
it was to fetch them? and though it had cost us something more, yet
the difference of that price was by no means worth saving at so
great a hazard.  But as this is usually the fate of young heads, so
reflection upon the folly of it is as commonly the exercise of more
years, or of the dear-bought experience of time - so it was with me
now; and yet so deep had the mistake taken root in my temper, that
I could not satisfy myself in my station, but was continually
poring upon the means and possibility of my escape from this place;
and that I may, with greater pleasure to the reader, bring on the
remaining part of my story, it may not be improper to give some
account of my first conceptions on the subject of this foolish
scheme for my escape, and how, and upon what foundation, I acted.

I am now to be supposed retired into my castle, after my late
voyage to the wreck, my frigate laid up and secured under water, as
usual, and my condition restored to what it was before: I had more
wealth, indeed, than I had before, but was not at all the richer;
for I had no more use for it than the Indians of Peru had before
the Spaniards came there.

It was one of the nights in the rainy season in March, the four-
and-twentieth year of my first setting foot in this island of
solitude, I was lying in my bed or hammock, awake, very well in
health, had no pain, no distemper, no uneasiness of body, nor any
uneasiness of mind more than ordinary, but could by no means close
my eyes, that is, so as to sleep; no, not a wink all night long,
otherwise than as follows: It is impossible to set down the
innumerable crowd of thoughts that whirled through that great
thoroughfare of the brain, the memory, in this night's time.  I ran
over the whole history of my life in miniature, or by abridgment,
as I may call it, to my coming to this island, and also of that
part of my life since I came to this island.  In my reflections
upon the state of my case since I came on shore on this island, I
was comparing the happy posture of my affairs in the first years of
my habitation here, with the life of anxiety, fear, and care which
I had lived in ever since I had seen the print of a foot in the
sand.  Not that I did not believe the savages had frequented the
island even all the while, and might have been several hundreds of
them at times on shore there; but I had never known it, and was
incapable of any apprehensions about it; my satisfaction was
perfect, though my danger was the same, and I was as happy in not
knowing my danger as if I had never really been exposed to it.
This furnished my thoughts with many very profitable reflections,
and particularly this one: How infinitely good that Providence is,
which has provided, in its government of mankind, such narrow
bounds to his sight and knowledge of things; and though he walks in
the midst of so many thousand dangers, the sight of which, if
discovered to him, would distract his mind and sink his spirits, he
is kept serene and calm, by having the events of things hid from
his eyes, and knowing nothing of the dangers which surround him.

After these thoughts had for some time entertained me, I came to
reflect seriously upon the real danger I had been in for so many
years in this very island, and how I had walked about in the
greatest security, and with all possible tranquillity, even when
perhaps nothing but the brow of a hill, a great tree, or the casual
approach of night, had been between me and the worst kind of
destruction - viz. that of falling into the hands of cannibals and
savages, who would have seized on me with the same view as I would
on a goat or turtle; and have thought it no more crime to kill and
devour me than I did of a pigeon or a curlew.  I would unjustly
slander myself if I should say I was not sincerely thankful to my
great Preserver, to whose singular protection I acknowledged, with
great humanity, all these unknown deliverances were due, and
without which I must inevitably have fallen into their merciless
hands.

When these thoughts were over, my head was for some time taken up
in considering the nature of these wretched creatures, I mean the
savages, and how it came to pass in the world that the wise
Governor of all things should give up any of His creatures to such
inhumanity - nay, to something so much below even brutality itself
- as to devour its own kind: but as this ended in some (at that
time) fruitless speculations, it occurred to me to inquire what
part of the world these wretches lived in? how far off the coast
was from whence they came? what they ventured over so far from home
for? what kind of boats they had? and why I might not order myself
and my business so that I might be able to go over thither, as they
were to come to me?

I never so much as troubled myself to consider what I should do
with myself when I went thither; what would become of me if I fell
into the hands of these savages; or how I should escape them if
they attacked me; no, nor so much as how it was possible for me to
reach the coast, and not to be attacked by some or other of them,
without any possibility of delivering myself: and if I should not
fall into their hands, what I should do for provision, or whither I
should bend my course: none of these thoughts, I say, so much as
came in my way; but my mind was wholly bent upon the notion of my
passing over in my boat to the mainland.  I looked upon my present
condition as the most miserable that could possibly be; that I was
not able to throw myself into anything but death, that could be
called worse; and if I reached the shore of the main I might
perhaps meet with relief, or I might coast along, as I did on the
African shore, till I came to some inhabited country, and where I
might find some relief; and after all, perhaps I might fall in with
some Christian ship that might take me in: and if the worst came to
the worst, I could but die, which would put an end to all these
miseries at once.  Pray note, all this was the fruit of a disturbed
mind, an impatient temper, made desperate, as it were, by the long
continuance of my troubles, and the disappointments I had met in
the wreck I had been on board of, and where I had been so near
obtaining what I so earnestly longed for - somebody to speak to,
and to learn some knowledge from them of the place where I was, and
of the probable means of my deliverance.  I was agitated wholly by
these thoughts; all my calm of mind, in my resignation to
Providence, and waiting the issue of the dispositions of Heaven,
seemed to be suspended; and I had as it were no power to turn my
thoughts to anything but to the project of a voyage to the main,
which came upon me with such force, and such an impetuosity of
desire, that it was not to be resisted.

When this had agitated my thoughts for two hours or more, with such
violence that it set my very blood into a ferment, and my pulse
beat as if I had been in a fever, merely with the extraordinary
fervour of my mind about it, Nature - as if I had been fatigued and
exhausted with the very thoughts of it - threw me into a sound
sleep.  One would have thought I should have dreamed of it, but I
did not, nor of anything relating to it, but I dreamed that as I
was going out in the morning as usual from my castle, I saw upon
the shore two canoes and eleven savages coming to land, and that
they brought with them another savage whom they were going to kill
in order to eat him; when, on a sudden, the savage that they were
going to kill jumped away, and ran for his life; and I thought in
my sleep that he came running into my little thick grove before my
fortification, to hide himself; and that I seeing him alone, and
not perceiving that the others sought him that way, showed myself
to him, and smiling upon him, encouraged him: that he kneeled down
to me, seeming to pray me to assist him; upon which I showed him my
ladder, made him go up, and carried him into my cave, and he became
my servant; and that as soon as I had got this man, I said to
myself, "Now I may certainly venture to the mainland, for this
fellow will serve me as a pilot, and will tell me what to do, and
whither to go for provisions, and whither not to go for fear of
being devoured; what places to venture into, and what to shun."  I
waked with this thought; and was under such inexpressible
impressions of joy at the prospect of my escape in my dream, that
the disappointments which I felt upon coming to myself, and finding
that it was no more than a dream, were equally extravagant the
other way, and threw me into a very great dejection of spirits.

Upon this, however, I made this conclusion: that my only way to go
about to attempt an escape was, to endeavour to get a savage into
my possession: and, if possible, it should be one of their
prisoners, whom they had condemned to be eaten, and should bring
hither to kill.  But these thoughts still were attended with this
difficulty: that it was impossible to effect this without attacking
a whole caravan of them, and killing them all; and this was not
only a very desperate attempt, and might miscarry, but, on the
other hand, I had greatly scrupled the lawfulness of it to myself;
and my heart trembled at the thoughts of shedding so much blood,
though it was for my deliverance.  I need not repeat the arguments
which occurred to me against this, they being the same mentioned
before; but though I had other reasons to offer now - viz. that
those men were enemies to my life, and would devour me if they
could; that it was self-preservation, in the highest degree, to
deliver myself from this death of a life, and was acting in my own
defence as much as if they were actually assaulting me, and the
like; I say though these things argued for it, yet the thoughts of
shedding human blood for my deliverance were very terrible to me,
and such as I could by no means reconcile myself to for a great
while.  However, at last, after many secret disputes with myself,
and after great perplexities about it (for all these arguments, one
way and another, struggled in my head a long time), the eager
prevailing desire of deliverance at length mastered all the rest;
and I resolved, if possible, to get one of these savages into my
hands, cost what it would.  My next thing was to contrive how to do
it, and this, indeed, was very difficult to resolve on; but as I
could pitch upon no probable means for it, so I resolved to put
myself upon the watch, to see them when they came on shore, and
leave the rest to the event; taking such measures as the
opportunity should present, let what would be.

With these resolutions in my thoughts, I set myself upon the scout
as often as possible, and indeed so often that I was heartily tired
of it; for it was above a year and a half that I waited; and for
great part of that time went out to the west end, and to the south-
west corner of the island almost every day, to look for canoes, but
none appeared.  This was very discouraging, and began to trouble me
much, though I cannot say that it did in this case (as it had done
some time before) wear off the edge of my desire to the thing; but
the longer it seemed to be delayed, the more eager I was for it: in
a word, I was not at first so careful to shun the sight of these
savages, and avoid being seen by them, as I was now eager to be
upon them.  Besides, I fancied myself able to manage one, nay, two
or three savages, if I had them, so as to make them entirely slaves
to me, to do whatever I should direct them, and to prevent their
being able at any time to do me any hurt.  It was a great while
that I pleased myself with this affair; but nothing still presented
itself; all my fancies and schemes came to nothing, for no savages
came near me for a great while.

About a year and a half after I entertained these notions (and by
long musing had, as it were, resolved them all into nothing, for
want of an occasion to put them into execution), I was surprised
one morning by seeing no less than five canoes all on shore
together on my side the island, and the people who belonged to them
all landed and out of my sight.  The number of them broke all my
measures; for seeing so many, and knowing that they always came
four or six, or sometimes more in a boat, I could not tell what to
think of it, or how to take my measures to attack twenty or thirty
men single-handed; so lay still in my castle, perplexed and
discomforted.  However, I put myself into the same position for an
attack that I had formerly provided, and was just ready for action,
if anything had presented.  Having waited a good while, listening
to hear if they made any noise, at length, being very impatient, I
set my guns at the foot of my ladder, and .clambered up to the top
of the hill, by my two stages, as usual; standing so, however, that
my head did not appear above the hill, so that they could not
perceive me by any means.  Here I observed, by the help of my
perspective glass, that they were no less than thirty in number;
that they had a fire kindled, and that they had meat dressed.  How
they had cooked it I knew not, or what it was; but they were all
dancing, in I know not how many barbarous gestures and figures,
their own way, round the fire.

While I was thus looking on them, I perceived, by my perspective,
two miserable wretches dragged from the boats, where, it seems,
they were laid by, and were now brought out for the slaughter.  I
perceived one of them immediately fall; being knocked down, I
suppose, with a club or wooden sword, for that was their way; and
two or three others were at work immediately, cutting him open for
their cookery, while the other victim was left standing by himself,
till they should be ready for him.  In that very moment this poor
wretch, seeing himself a little at liberty and unbound, Nature
inspired him with hopes of life, and he started away from them, and
ran with incredible swiftness along the sands, directly towards me;
I mean towards that part of the coast where my habitation was.  I
was dreadfully frightened, I must acknowledge, when I perceived him
run my way; and especially when, as I thought, I saw him pursued by
the whole body: and now I expected that part of my dream was coming
to pass, and that he would certainly take shelter in my grove; but
I could not depend, by any means, upon my dream, that the other
savages would not pursue him thither and find him there.  However,
I kept my station, and my spirits began to recover when I found
that there was not above three men that followed him; and still
more was I encouraged, when I found that he outstripped them
exceedingly in running, and gained ground on them; so that, if he
could but hold out for half-an-hour, I saw easily he would fairly
get away from them all.
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