From the ArcaMax Publishing, Family Film Reviews Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/familyfilms/s-526635-954575
"Hannah Montana The Movie" (G, 1 hr., 38 min.)
Teen pop star Hannah Montana's off-stage self, Miley Stewart, gets too
big for her high-heeled sneakers in "Hannah Montana The Movie." So her
dad, Robby Ray Stewart, decides it's time to take her down a peg by
bringing her home to the family's Tennessee farm for a "Hannah detox."
Of course, as in the Disney Channel's "Hannah Montana" TV show, the
whole thing is a fiction-within-a-fiction. Hannah's "real" off-stage
self, Miley Stewart, is played by Miley Cyrus, and Miley Stewart's
dad, Robby Ray, is played by her real-life dad, country-and-western
star Billy Ray Cyrus. So when the make-believe Robby Ray tells the
make-believe Miley it's her turn to do the dishes, well, it's that
easy to see them as "just folks." Equally unconvincing is the premise
that Miley Stewart's high-school friends never see the resemblance
between her and Hannah Montana -- that a wig and makeup are all the
disguise she needs. Outside her family, only her best friend knows the
truth.
For little girls, however, none of this matters. They get to see
Hannah/Miley sing, shop, do elaborate (and pretty labored) slapstick
gags, ride a horse, re-connect with her plain-spoken grandmother
(Margo Martindale), save her hometown's meadows from a shopping mall
developer with a benefit concert, and flirt with Travis (Lucas Till),
a local boy she knew when she was little. He lassos a runaway horse
for her and has a great grin. There's also a tabloid reporter intent
upon exposing Hannah's true identity.
It all starts when Miley, her head turned by too much adulation and an
overambitious manager (Vanessa Williams), arrives late at her best
friend Lilly's (Emily Osment) sweet 16 party. Forgetting to shed her
Hannah costume, Miley causes a near-riot and makes the party all about
her. Add to that a public knock-down/drag-out with model Tyra Banks
over a pair of designer shoes, and her dad decides to intervene. He
tricks Miley into coming home. Miley fusses at first, but learns her
lesson.
The Family Filmgoer suggests the movie for kids 8 and older, though
many younger girls will enjoy it. They won't get every line, but there
is only the mildest of sexual innuendo, and the most brash phrase used
is "sweet cheeks." The strongest brew anyone imbibes is iced tea.
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various
ages
-- OK FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER:
"Hannah Montana The Movie" (NEW) G -- Teen pop star Hannah
Montana's off-stage self, Miley Stewart, gets too big for her
high-heeled sneakers in "Hannah Montana The Movie." So her dad, Robby
Ray Stewart, decides it's time to take her down a peg by bringing her
home to the family's Tennessee farm for a "Hannah detox." Hannah's
off-stage self, Miley Stewart, is played by Miley Cyrus, and Miley
Stewart's dad, Robby Ray, is played by her real-life dad,
country-and-western star Billy Ray Cyrus. So it's hard to see them as
"just folks." Equally unconvincing is the idea that Miley Stewart's
fellow high-schoolers never get the connection between her and Hannah
Montana. (Outside the family, only her best friend knows.) But for
little girls, none of this matters. They'll get to see Hannah/Miley
sing, shop, do elaborate (and labored) slapstick gags, ride a horse,
re-connect with her grandmother (Margo Martindale), do a benefit
concert to save her hometown's meadows from a developer, and flirt
with Travis (Lucas Till), a boy who lassos her runaway horse. It
starts when Miley ruins her BFF Lilly's (Emily Osment) sweet 16 party
by arriving as Hannah Montana and making it all about her. Toss in a
high-profile girl-fight with model Tyra Banks over a pair of shoes,
and her dad steps in. There is mild sexual innuendo. The brashest
phrase is "sweet cheeks" and the strongest brew is iced tea. OK for
under-8s, but they won't get everything.
"Monsters vs. Aliens" PG -- Kids 8 and older ought to have a
fine time at this silly, mostly ingenious animated 3-D spoof of
1950s-era "creature features." Apart from a few slow scenes in the
middle, the movie fizzes along funnily. Even the "scary" bits are
amusing, which will keep younger kids comfortable. There is toilet
humor, but nothing too gross. Some under-8s may be spooked when the
human heroine Susan (voice of Reese Witherspoon) mutates into a nearly
50-foot-tall version of herself, or when the multi-eyed outer space
villain Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) clones himself into an army, or when
his killer robot (which looks like a huge pickle) attacks. Susan walks
too near a just-crashed meteorite and soon after, in the middle of her
wedding, morphs into a giant. Government forces abduct her, rename her
Ginormica and imprison her with other mutant "monsters": B.O.B. (Seth
Rogen), a blob with a big eyeball; the mad scientist Dr. Cockroach
(Hugh Laurie); an ape-fish called The Missing Link (Will Arnett), and
a huge grub worm, Insectosaurus. Ginormica et al. are sent to fight
Gallaxhar. There is a remark about "boobies" and a hint of bare
behind. One monster seems to die, but later we learn it's OK.
"Race to Witch Mountain" PG -- There are gun battles,
head-slamming fights and chase scenes, all of which could unsettle
sensitive kids 8 and younger watching this unexceptional but diverting
popcorn flick. The chiseled, good-natured presence of Dwayne Johnson
adds a needed center of gravity. Most of the mayhem is loud and fast,
but bloodless, though there is a harrowing moment when the
protagonists are stuck in a railroad tunnel with a spaceship and a
train bearing down. Las Vegas cabbie Jack Bruno (Johnson) picks up
teen siblings Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig), and
later learns that they're alien beings with telekinetic and
molecule-scrambling powers. Grudgingly, he helps them flee government
types and an assassin from their home planet. Unhelmeted, the alien
assassin has a big exposed brain.
-- OK FOR KIDS 10 AND OLDER:
"Alien Trespass" (LIMITED RELEASE) PG -- Nothing in this droll
little sci-fi spoof is likely to unsettle most kids 10 and older,
unless they're particularly sensitive to UFO/alien monster stories of
even the gentlest sort. Those with a wide-ranging sense of humor will
probably get the film's wit. In truth, though, "Alien Trespass" aims
its satire more at older audiences familiar with those wonderfully
cheesy 1950s science-fiction movies, such as "The Blob" (1958). The
movie both teases and pays homage to the low-tech special effects,
wild overacting, and archetypes in such films. Eric McCormack plays
Ted, a tweedy scientist who gets yanked into a just-landed spaceship.
He re-emerges possessed by its alien captain, Urp. Ted/Urp wanders
through town trying to stop a murderous one-eyed monster with
tentacles that escaped the ship. There is mild sexual innuendo, little
or no profanity and nonlethal gunplay. The monster gobbles humans
(off-camera) leaving just a mud puddle. Ewww!
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"Fast & Furious" -- This third sequel in the car-totaling
franchise reunites the moody cast of the original film ("The Fast and
the Furious," PG-13, 2001). Teens will likely enjoy the ride, and
parents may worry they'll might imitate the driving. The acting and
dialogue are often unintentionally funny, but the racing stunts can be
heart-stopping, with spectacularly staged crashes. At least one
pedestrian (albeit a bad guy) gets smashed. The movie has gun
violence, explosions and head-banging fights, but no graphic injuries.
It contains midrange profanity, a couple of steamy kisses, briefly
implied sexual situations, young women in skimpy outfits, drinking and
drug references. It also uses tired racial and ethnic stereotypes.
Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), the muscled antihero who races muscle
cars, remains a fugitive from justice. After his girlfriend is
murdered in Los Angeles, he reconnects with his sister (Jordana
Brewster) and her estranged love, FBI agent Brian O'Conner (Paul
Walker). The two men team up to avenge the murder and bring down a
Mexican drug lord.
"The Haunting in Connecticut" -- Solid acting and handsomely
realized effects depicting ghostly visions and visitations make this
an effective occult tale despite its repetitive script. (Based on a
true story, we're told.) The movie pushes its PG-13 rating, however,
with disturbing hallucinatory images of decayed, mutilated and
mummified corpses and violent events. There are flashbacks of someone
preparing to snip the eyelids off a body, and of seances in which
ghostly "ectoplasm" spews from a live person's mouth. The story also
deals with a father's alcoholism and potential for violence. Children
are threatened. There is occasional profanity. Virginia Madsen plays
Sara, whose teenage son Matt (Kyle Gallner) has a life-threatening
illness. She moves the family to an old house near the hospital where
Matt gets treatment. He immediately starts seeing ghosts. Not for
middle-schoolers.
"12 Rounds" -- WWE wrestling star John Cena is an affable,
boulder-like presence in this undistinguished crime thriller, built
around a series of huge stunts. Cena plays Danny, a New Orleans police
detective who has earned the enmity of a vile international
weapons-dealing terrorist/thief named Miles (Aidan Gillen). Somehow
out of prison, Miles blows up Danny's house and car for starters, then
abducts his girlfriend Molly (Ashley Scott) and sets up 12 tasks for
Danny to complete or Molly will die. Each involves putting innocents
at risk, sometimes fatally. Danny butts heads with the FBI agent
(Steve Harris) who wants Miles, too. The film includes explosions, a
fairly graphic but bloodless stabbing, gun battles, wild foot and car
chases, a woman strapped with explosives, a pedestrian killed by a
speeding car, midrange profanity and mild sexual innuendo. More for
high-schoolers.
"Knowing" -- This parable about the end of humankind blurs the
line between science fiction and theology in a way high-schoolers may
find interesting -- the tall, ghostly men in black coats who speak
telepathically to children could be space aliens or angels. It's
heady, sometimes chilling stuff, but "Knowing" is too often
overwrought and silly. In the prologue, a haunted little girl fills a
page with numbers and it goes into her school's time capsule. Fifty
years later, professor John Koestler (Nicolas Cage), a sad,
hard-drinking widower, attends the capsule's reopening. His little boy
(Chandler Canterbury) gets the paper with the numbers. John realizes
they are dates of disasters past and future. There are quick, intense
depictions of the Asian tsunami, hurricane Katrina, 9/11, a plane
crash, a derailed subway train mowing people down. We see the injured
and dead, but nothing graphic. There is a suicide theme and rare mild
profanity.
-- R's:
"Observe and Report" (NEW) -- The tone keeps changing in this
dark, nihilistic comedy, and the performance of comic actor Seth Rogen
("Knocked Up," R, 2007, "Pineapple Express," R, 2008) may stun his
fans. Writer/director Jody Hill's movie is a very edgy R, which
stumbles too often across the line between comedy and tragedy. It
contains drug abuse and drinking, steaming profanity, a couple of
explicit sexual situations, and prolonged scenes of male frontal
nudity in the form of a flasher running through a shopping mall. The
mayhem includes fights, a police beating and gun violence. Rogen plays
Ronnie, the mall's chief security guard. Stupid, racist, profane, and
a bully, he would love to be a real cop and sees the flasher as his
ticket, if he can catch him. He also longs to impress the drunk and
promiscuous Brandi (Anna Faris), who works at a cosmetics counter.
Ronnie gets crossways with police detective Harrison (Ray Liotta), who
views him, correctly, as an idiot. Ronnie earns a bit of sympathy as
we see him care for his alcoholic mom (Celia Weston) and we learn his
history. But he's still a sociopath. Not for under-17s.
"Adventureland" (NEW) -- Strikingly unsentimental, witty and
beautifully acted and written, "Adventureland" is a coming-of-age saga
geared to adults looking back. It features heavy-duty pot-smoking and
drinking, driving under the influence, steaming profanity, crude
sexual slang and innuendo, subtly implied sexual situations, and brief
comic mayhem. Writer/director Greg Mottola ("Superbad," R, 2007) takes
a humane view in which all the young characters, whatever their flaws,
have complicated lives. It is 1987. James Brennan, a smart but naive
brainiac, has just graduated college. His parents (Wendie Malick and
Jack Gilpin) can no longer afford to send him to Europe for the
summer, or pay for grad school. A comparative lit major, James has no
job skills and winds up working at the local amusement park, run by a
penny-pinching couple ("Saturday Night Live's" Kristen Wiig and Bill
Hader). James finds kindred spirits there, including Joel (Martin
Starr), a nerdy Russian literature freak, and the bewitching Em
(Kristen Stewart of "Twilight," PG-13, 2008), who has family issues,
drinks too much and dallies with a married man (Ryan Reynolds). James
learns he can't intellectualize life. OK for thoughtful high-schoolers
16 and older.
"I Love You, Man" -- Paul Rudd plays Peter, a charming nerd, in
this cleverly observed, but crass buddy comedy about a sensitive
fellow so devoted to his fiancee (Rashida Jones), and so lacking in
macho, regular-guy qualities -- hates sports, can't play poker, tells
lame jokes -- that he has no male friends at all. He starts going on
guy "dates" to find a friend who can be his best man. He meets Sydney
(Jason Segel), a shambling, profane jokester who still acts like the
biggest slacker in the frat house, and they hit it off. Whenever the
movie threatens to take a pat, cliched route, it almost always veers
in a more rewarding, funny direction. It is, however, truly crude.
There is strong profanity, very graphic sexual slang, toilet
humor, implied marijuana use and drinking. 17 and up.