From the ArcaMax Publishing, Family Film Reviews Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/familyfilms/s-511016-370392
"Race To Witch Mountain" (PG, 1 hr., 38 min.)
There are gun battles, head-slamming fights and chase scenes, all of
which could unsettle sensitive kids 8 and younger watching this fun
(as opposed to "great") movie. Most of the mayhem is just loud and
fast, but bloodless, though there is a particularly tense scene in
which the protagonists are stuck in a railroad tunnel with an alien
spaceship, then a train, bearing down on them. (They survive.)
"Race to Witch Mountain" is an update/remake of the Disney
films "Escape to Witch Mountain" (G, 1975) and "Return from Witch
Mountain" (G, 1978), based on the book by Alexander Key. Speaking of
mountains, the huge, chiseled, good-humored presence of
wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne (formerly "The Rock") Johnson adds a lot
to the proceedings. In a prologue, we see a spaceship crash in the
desert near Las Vegas. Secret government operatives led by grim
alien-hunter Henry Burke (Ciaran Hinds) swoop in. They get wind that
the two aliens, disguised as blond American teens, are traveling with
a Las Vegas cabdriver named Jack Bruno (Johnson), a fellow with a
criminal past. As the grumpy Jack, who suddenly finds the brother and
sister aliens Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig) in
his back seat, Johnson goes through an amusing range of reactions,
from skeptic to true believer. At first Jack thinks they're just
brainy nerds. Then he witnesses Sara's telekinetic powers and Seth's
molecule-scrambling disappearing act. Against his better judgment, he
helps them flee the Feds and a robotic assassin from their home
planet. (SPOILER ALERT: The assassin is an alien with a head like a
huge exposed brain.) For help, he seeks out a recent fare he dropped
off at a geeky sci-fi convention. Alex (Carla Gugino) is a pretty
scientist studying the probability of intelligent life elsewhere in
the universe. She, Jack and the kids race toward Witch Mountain, where
the aliens believe a spaceship they seek lies hidden.
Jack is pursued by thugs from a gangster he used to work for. There is
a briefly growling junkyard dog who becomes friendly. The film also
works in a "green" message about saving planet Earth, as the alien
kids talk about their dying one. "Race to Witch Mountain" could be
called the grade-school answer to "The Day the Earth Stood Still"
(PG-13, 2008).
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various
ages
-- OK FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER:
"Race to Witch Mountain" PG (NEW) -- There are gun battles,
head-slamming fights and chase scenes, all of which could unsettle
sensitive kids 8 and younger watching this fun (as opposed to "great")
movie. Most of the mayhem is just loud and fast, but bloodless, though
there is a particularly harrowing scene in which the protagonists are
stuck in a railroad tunnel with an alien spaceship, then a train,
bearing down. "Race to Witch Mountain" is a remake based on the Disney
films "Escape to Witch Mountain" (G, 1975) and "Return from Witch
Mountain" (G, 1978). The chiseled, good-humored presence of
wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson adds a lot to it. In a prologue,
an alien spaceship crashes in the desert near Las Vegas and secret
government operatives led by grim-faced Henry Burke (Ciaran Hinds)
swoop in. Grumpy Las Vegas cabdriver Jack Bruno (Johnson) unknowingly
picks up brother and sister space aliens disguised as blond American
teens Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig). At first he
thinks they're just odd. Then he sees Sara's telekinetic powers and
Seth's disappearing act. Against his better judgment, Jack helps the
alien kids flee the Feds and a robotic assassin from their home
planet. (SPOILER ALERT: The assassin is an alien with a head like a
huge exposed brain.) He also seeks out a recent fare, Alex (Carla
Gugino), a scientist speaking to a geeky convention of UFO and sci-fi
freaks.
"Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience" G -- Youngsters
who adore the Jonas Brothers will have fun at this movie. It contains
virtually nothing offensive, unless parents are bothered by the
brothers' mildly sensual dance moves, or the hilariously Freudian bit
when the brothers spray foam at their concert audience (unlikely to
resonate with pre-adolescents). Aesthetically, this is a contrived and
commercial bit of nothing. Structured around a Jonas Brothers' 2008
concert tour, it tries to echo the Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night" (G,
1964), but the three young pop-rockers lack edge. Their personas seem
wholly manufactured. The 3-D part means Joe Jonas can make a mic stand
seem like its comin' right at ya. "Coraline" PG -- Director Henry
Selick's gorgeous stop-motion animated marvel is exciting fare for
kids 8 and older who love scary-funny fairy tales. Still, easily
spooked children as old as 12 may find the second half upsetting.
After all, the little girl of the title enters a menacing
looking-glass world where a metallic spider chases kids and things
transform in odd ways. Then she nearly loses her parents. Coraline
(voice of Dakota Fanning) lives with her mom and dad (Teri Hatcher and
John Hodgman) in a ramshackle apartment house with eccentric tenants.
Her busy folks have no time for her. One night, she follows mice
through a little door and into a place that looks like a brighter
version of home, except Other Mother and Other Father have buttons for
eyes. She must escape this surreal world. The film has a few crass
words and lady acrobats wear scanty costumes. See it in 3-D if you
can.
-- OK FOR KIDS 10 AND OLDER:
"Confessions of a Shopaholic" (PG) -- The credit-card-maxing
habits of Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher), the dizzy, addicted shopper
of the title, are amusing to watch. Then the pallid romantic plot
kicks in, and the comedy congeals. Luke (Hugh Dancy), the cute editor
of a finance magazine, hires Rebecca to write about saving money. He's
unaware of her $16,000 credit-card debt or that her friend (excellent
Krysten Ritter) has enrolled her in a 12-step program for shopaholics.
Likely to entertain kids (mostly girls) 10 and older, the film (based
on novels by Sophie Kinsella) shows that spending more than you have
is bad, yet it still revels in the designer clothes Rebecca buys.
There is mild sexual innuendo and characters get drunk.
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail" -- Tyler Perry's raucous
family dramedy recipe lacks something this time. Teen audiences may
yawn as melodrama drowns out comedy in the first hour. A midrange
PG-13, the movie includes a prostitution theme, an implied rape and
other violence against women, none of it very graphic. There is talk
of a long-ago fraternity party gang rap. A boss demands sex from a job
applicant and gets kneed in the crotch (off-screen). There is sexual
innuendo about women in prison, mild profanity, a racial slur, liquor
and cigarettes. An assistant district attorney (Derek Luke) tries to
help a drug-addicted prostitute (Keshia Knight Pulliam) he knew in
college. His fiancee (Ion Overman) disapproves. Meanwhile, the
gun-toting, cop-assaulting battle-ax Madea (Perry in drag) ends up in
prison. There she meets the young woman to amusing effect, but the
film takes forever to get there.
"He's Just Not That Into You" -- Crisp, funny and poignant,
this romantic comedy/drama, based on the popular nonfiction book,
chides young singles for casual affairs and brittle emotions. Gigi
(Ginnifer Goodwin) dogs guys who promise to call and then don't. Then
she gets eye-opening pointers from Alex (Justin Long). Meanwhile,
Conor (Kevin Connolly) pines for Anna (Scarlett Johansson), who takes
up with Ben (Bradley Cooper), who's married to Janine (Jennifer
Connelly), and Beth (Jennifer Aniston) lives with Neil (Ben Affleck),
who shuns marriage. There are semiexplicit sexual trysts, one with
implied nudity. There is crude sexual slang, midrange profanity,
drinking, and implied smoking. A better bet for high-schoolers 16 and
older.
"Taken" -- Liam Neeson plays a retired CIA operative who uses
his skills to rescue his 18-year-old daughter (Maggie Grace) after she
and a friend (Katie Cassidy) are abducted in Paris. He homes in on a
gang of Albanian thugs who kidnap and drug girls, then use them as
prostitutes, even auctioning off virgins. The film makes ingenious use
of re-enactment. Despite the lurid theme, it is understated. The
stabbing, shooting, head-bashing mayhem is intense but not graphic,
and the portrayal of prostitution is not explicit. There is midrange
profanity, and a few crude sexual references. "Taken" feeds negative
stereotypes of Muslims in its villains. Not for middle-schoolers.
-- R's:
"Crossing Over" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) -- Director Wayne Kramer
interweaves multiple stories in this earnest, but sometimes
over-obvious drama about the messed-up immigration situation that has
evolved since the Sept. 11, 2001 terror attacks. Still, high-schoolers
16 and older who have an interest in human rights and world affairs
may find the film emotionally wrenching. Harrison Ford headlines as a
heart-of-gold Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer in Los
Angeles. His Iranian-American co-worker (Cliff Curtis) has family
issues in which old ways clash violently with new. Another immigration
officer (Ray Liotta) extorts sex from an Australian actress (Alice
Eve) who needs a green card. A schoolgirl from Bangladesh speaks up in
class about the 9/11 terrorists and faces deportation. There are many
more threads. The film includes a couple of violent gun murders,
nudity, strongly implied sexual situations, crude sexual slang,
vicious ethnic and religious slurs, profanity, marijuana, drinking and
smoking. 16 and older.
"The Last House on the Left" (NEW) -- Good acting makes you
care about the people being terrorized in this ultraviolent update of
fright-meister Wes Craven's fabled 1972 gore fest (he is a producer on
this one). That doesn't make the film any less exploitative, however.
Craven says he based his story on the great Swedish director Ingmar
Bergman's medieval fable, "The Virgin Spring" (Unrated, 1960), but
"The Last House on the Left" is a raunchy modern crime drama that
revels in bloodlust. A teenage girl, Mari (Sara Paxton), arrives with
her parents (Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter) at their lake house. She
and a girl (Martha MacIsaac) from town buy pot from a teenager
(Spencer Treat Clark) whose father, Krug (Garret Dillahunt), is a
vicious sociopath. Krug and his cohorts (Aaron Paul and Riki Lindhome)
abduct and brutalize the girls. Mari's parents are clueless when the
criminals appear later, asking for shelter in a storm, but they get
wise and shift into survival/vengeance mode. The film contains
extremely graphic murders and a vicious rape, as well as partial
nudity, drug use, drinking and profanity. The Family Filmgoer was
stunned to see two girls of 10 or 12 at a preview screening. This is
not for under-17s.
"Watchmen" -- Dark, violent, visually dazzling and
intellectually edgy, this adaptation of the late 1980s cult-fave comic
and graphic novel is geared to those 17 and older. It is 1985. Richard
Nixon is still president and the Cold War inches toward nuclear
holocaust. In addition to bloody street and battlefield mayhem, the
film shows the murder of a pregnant woman in Vietnam, the remains of a
murdered toddler, an attempted rape, other explicit sexual situations,
nudity, profanity, drinking and smoking. The plot is confounding: The
government has made masked superheroes illegal, but Rorschach (Jackie
Earle Haley) remains a vigilante. The others are retired. The only
ex-Watchman with real superpowers is the distant, god- like Dr.
Manhattan (Billy Crudup), who, because of a lab accident, is a
translucent blue and can scramble his atoms. Another ex-Watchman, The
Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), is murdered. Rorschach suspects a
conspiracy and contacts the others, including Silk Spectre II (Malin
Akerman), and Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson), now just plain Laurie and
Dan.