From the ArcaMax Publishing, Family Film Reviews Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/familyfilms/s-506842-925847
"Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience" (G, 1
hr., 16 min.)
The Family Filmgoer hesitates to rain on any tween's parade, so
suffice it to say that youngsters who adore the Jonas Brothers will
have fun at this movie. It contains virtually nothing offensive,
unless parents are bothered by the mildly sensual style of dance the
Jonas boys do onstage, or the hilariously Freudian concert bit when
the brothers spray foam at their audience (unlikely to have much
resonance with pre-adolescents).
For older viewers and parents, here's an opinion, for what it's worth:
"Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience" is a contrived and
commercial bit of nothing. Even the supposedly "candid" moments
backstage or in hotel rooms come off as awkwardly staged, with the
brothers unable even to fake spontaneity. They seem, sadly, already
jaded by their celebrity. The movie is structured around their 2008
"Burnin' Up" concert tour and an album launch. It tries to echo
moments of the Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night" (G, 1964), but the three
young pop-rockers lack the edge of street cred needed to make that
work. They seem utterly manufactured as personalities, as does Demi
Lovato, who makes a cameo appearance with them in concert. Taylor
Swift, who also drops by for a song, seems like an actual talent. The
fact the movie was shot in 3-D means that Joe Jonas can make a
microphone stand seem like it's comin' right at ya, and the
glow-in-the-dark wands waved by concertgoers pop nicely out of the
screen.
"Watchmen" (R, 2 hrs., 43 min.)
Dark, violent, visually spectacular and intellectually challenging,
this screen adaptation of the genre-bending DC comics and graphic
novel published in the late 1980s is geared to those 17 and older.
College kids in particular ought to be riveted by the way "Watchmen"
recasts an era they have only read about or heard of from older
people. It bristles with cinematic and musical allusion to the
Vietnam-era and its fallout of cynicism, and runs with that. The film
takes a jaded, deconstructive view of the whole superhero concept, set
in an alternative 1980s, with Richard Nixon still president and the
Cold War inching toward nuclear annihilation. In addition to bloody
street and battlefield mayhem, the film shows the murder of a pregnant
woman in Vietnam, a graphic depiction of the remains of a murdered
toddler, an attempted rape, other explicit sexual situations, nudity,
profanity, drinking and smoking.
Director Zack Snyder ("300," R, 2006) has an eye for epic tales and
tells an impressive one here, but for those not familiar with the
source material, following the plot will prove daunting. Here's an
attempt: The government has made masked superheroes illegal in the
rainy, dangerous 1985 USA. Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley), whose mask
features an ever-changing ink blot, remains a lawless vigilante, but
the others are retired. Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) has become a
preening celebrity. The only former Watchman who has real superhuman
powers is Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup). Because of a nuclear lab
accident, he is a translucent blue and can scramble his atoms and
teleport himself anywhere. Dr. M has in fact taken on god-like
qualities. After another ex-Watchman, The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean
Morgan), is murdered, Rorschach contacts all the others, including
Silk Spectre II, aka Laurie (Malin Akerman), and Nite Owl II, aka Dan
(Patrick Wilson). Laurie has been Dr. Manhattan's assistant and lover,
but in his altered state, he tends to ignore her. So Laurie seeks out
shy Dan. The two of them put on their old costumes and mete out some
justice, which they find inspiring and sexy. Incidents from the past
that shaped the Watchmen are told in frequent flashbacks, as their
present world slips toward disaster.
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various
ages
-- OK FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER:
"Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience" G -- Youngsters
who adore the Jonas Brothers will have fun at this movie. It contains
virtually nothing offensive, unless parents are bothered by the mildly
sensual style of dance the Jonases do onstage, or the hilariously
Freudian concert bit when the brothers spray foam at their audience
(unlikely to have resonance with pre-adolescents). Here's a critic's
opinion, for what it's worth: This is a contrived and commercial bit
of nothing. Even the supposedly "candid" moments backstage come off as
fake. The movie is structured around the Jonas Brothers' 2008 "Burnin'
Up" concert tour and an album launch. It tries to echo the Beatles' "A
Hard Day's Night" (G, 1964), but the three young pop-rockers lack the
edge needed to make that work. They seem utterly manufactured as
personalities, as does Demi Lovato in a cameo appearance with them.
Taylor Swift, who also drops by for a song, seems like an actual
talent. The 3-D part means Joe Jonas can make a mic stand seem like
its comin' right at ya.
"Coraline" PG -- Director Henry Selick's stop-motion animated
film, a dazzling work of imagination, is exciting fare for kids 8 and
older who love scary-funny fairy tales. Yet easily spooked children as
old as 12 may find the second half upsetting. After all, it's about a
little girl who enters a menacing through-the-looking-glass world and
nearly loses her parents. Coraline (voice of Dakota Fanning) lives in
a ramshackle apartment house with eccentric tenants. Her parents (Teri
Hatcher and John Hodgman), both writers, have no time for her. One
night, she follows mice through a little door and into a place that
looks like home, but much cheerier -- except Other Mother and Other
Father have buttons for eyes. She must escape this surreal world,
where a metallic spider chases kids and things transform in odd ways.
The film has a few crass words and lady acrobats wear scanty costumes.
It ends happily. See it in 3-D if possible.
-- OK FOR KIDS 10 AND OLDER:
"Confessions of a Shopaholic" PG -- The credit-card-maxing
habits of Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher), the dizzy, addicted shopper
of the title, are amusing to watch. Then the pallid romantic plot
kicks in, and the comedy congeals. Luke (Hugh Dancy), the cute editor
of a finance magazine, hires Rebecca to write about saving money. He's
unaware of her $16,000 credit-card debt or that her friend (excellent
Krysten Ritter) has enrolled her in a 12-step program for shopaholics.
Likely to entertain kids (mostly girls) 10 and older, the film (based
on novels by Sophie Kinsella) shows that spending more than you have
is bad, yet it still revels in the designer clothes Rebecca buys.
There is mild sexual innuendo and characters get drunk.
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" (NEW) -- Though it's
based on the arcade video game, this movie aims for a marginally
coherent, humanized tale of good versus evil in the martial arts
genre. It is only semi-successful and too often a bore. The
repetitive fights and gun battles, while largely nongraphic, imply
plenty of bone-cracking and even off-screen torture. One scene hints
that a pregnant woman's full-term baby is taken by force. There is
rare profanity, some sexual innuendo and drinking. One good thing:
Kristin Kreuk (of TV's "Smallville") is effortlessly charming as
Chun-Li, a young woman raised to be a concert pianist, but also adept
at martial arts. Chun-Li remembers her father's violent kidnapping by
business "associates" (shown in flashback). A mysterious scroll points
to the man who took her father. Chun-Li studies with Gen (Robin
Shou), a martial arts master, who goes with her to Bangkok in search
of the evil Bison (Neal McDonough) and his huge enforcer (Michael
Clarke Duncan). An Interpol agent (Chris Klein) and a local homicide
detective (Moon Bloodgood) are on the same trail.
"Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail" -- Tyler Perry's formula for
raucous family comedies that preach responsibility runs dry this time.
Teen audiences may yawn, as melodrama drowns out comedy in the first
hour. A midrange PG-13, the movie includes a prostitution theme, an
implied rape and other violence against women, none of it very
graphic. There is talk of a long-ago gang rape at a frat party. A boss
demands sex from a job applicant and gets kneed in the crotch
(off-screen). There is sexual innuendo about women in prison, mild
profanity, a racial slur, liquor and cigarettes. Madea finally gets a
tough sentence for her driving violations, assaults on police and
armed scuffles. Her cellmate is a giggling serial killer. Meanwhile,
an assistant district attorney (Derek Luke) tries to help a
drug-addicted prostitute (Keshia Knight Pulliam) he knew in college
before her life went bad. His fiancee (Ion Overman) disapproves. In
prison, Madea helps the young woman find self-confidence, but it's
like serving a life sentence waiting for that payoff.
"The Class" (LIMITED RELEASE) -- If they're willing to deal
with fast-moving subtitles, American teens might be gripped by this
French film, set in a middle school in Paris. Based on Francois
Begaudeau's novel, taken from his teaching experiences, the movie has
a "cinema verite" feel. Most of the kids and teachers, including
Begaudeau, play themselves or variations of themselves. His students
are African and Asian immigrants. Some of the kids' boisterous,
sullen, funny, emotional exchanges with their teacher reflect unhappy
feelings about France and about how they think France views them. We
sit in on faculty meetings as one boy's expulsion is debated. There is
occasional strong profanity (the F-word), racial and homophobic slurs,
muted sexual innuendo, smoking, and teachers having a champagne toast.
In French with subtitles.
"He's Just Not That Into You" -- Crisp, funny and poignant,
this romantic comedy/drama, based on the popular nonfiction book,
chides young singles for casual affairs and brittle emotions. Gigi
(Ginnifer Goodwin) dogs guys who promise to call and then don't. Then
she gets eye-opening pointers from Alex (Justin Long). Meanwhile,
Conor (Kevin Connolly) pines for Anna (Scarlett Johansson), who takes
up with Ben (Bradley Cooper), who's married to Janine (Jennifer
Connelly), and Beth (Jennifer Aniston) lives with Neil (Ben Affleck),
who shuns marriage. There are semiexplicit sexual trysts, one with
implied nudity. There is crude sexual slang, midrange profanity,
drinking, and implied smoking. A better bet for high-schoolers 16 and
older.
"Taken" -- Liam Neeson plays a retired CIA operative who uses
his skills to rescue his 18-year-old daughter (Maggie Grace) after she
and a friend (Katie Cassidy) are abducted in Paris. He homes in on a
gang of Albanian thugs who kidnap and drug girls, then use them as
prostitutes, even auctioning off virgins. The film makes ingenious use
of re-enactment. Despite the lurid theme, it is understated. The
stabbing, shooting, head-bashing mayhem is intense but not graphic,
and the portrayal of prostitution is not explicit. There is midrange
profanity, and a few crude sexual references. "Taken" feeds negative
stereotypes of Muslims in its villains. Not for middle-schoolers.
-- AN R:
"Watchmen" (NEW) -- Dark, violent, visually spectacular and
intellectually challenging, this screen adaptation of the cult-fave DC
comics and graphic novel of the late 1980s is geared to those 17 and
older. The movie bristles with cultural allusions to the Vietnam era
and its fallout of cynicism. It is 1985. Richard Nixon is still
president and the Cold War edges toward nuclear holocaust. In addition
to bloody street and battlefield mayhem, the film shows the murder of
a pregnant woman in Vietnam, the remains of a murdered toddler, an
attempted rape, other explicit sexual situations, nudity, profanity,
drinking and smoking. The hard-to-follow plot: The government has made
masked superheroes illegal, but Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley)
remains a vigilante. The others are retired. The only former Watchman
with real superpowers is Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), who, because of
a nuclear lab accident, is a translucent blue and can scramble his
atoms. He has taken on distant god-like qualities as he tries to avert
nuclear war. Another ex-Watchman, The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan),
is murdered and Rorschach thinks it's a plot. He contacts them all,
including Silk Spectre II, aka Laurie (Malin Akerman), and Nite Owl
II, aka Dan (Patrick Wilson). Laurie is Dr. Manhattan's lover, but he
ignores her, so she and Dan put on their old costumes and mete out
some justice, which they find erotic. Incidents from the Watchmen's
lives are told in frequent flashbacks, as their present world slips
toward disaster.