From the ArcaMax Publishing, Family Film Reviews Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/familyfilms/s-498980-663033
"Fired Up" (PG-13, 1 hr., 34 min.)
Two girl-crazy high-school football players (Nicholas D'Agosto and
Eric Christian Olsen) sign up for cheerleader camp instead of football
camp in hopes of scoring more than touchdowns in this crass,
marginally diverting comedy -- yet another in which the actors look
(and indeed are) a good 10 years too old to be in high school. Shawn
(D'Agosto), the lesser lothario of the two, finds himself more than
attracted to the cheerleader captain Carly (Sarah Roemer), but her
bullying, unfaithful college boyfriend (David Walton) is an obstacle.
The one truly funny moment in "Fired Up" occurs well after the point
at which we know the film won't add up to much: The entire
cheerleading camp, probably a few hundred teens and counselors,
watches "Bring It On" (PG-13, 2000), the hit cheerleading movie with
Kirsten Dunst. The campers recite all the lines right along with the
actors. It's a sweet interval that opens a little window into the
attraction cheerleading holds for so many kids -- the mix of sport,
dance, competition and risk. Too bad the rest of the film doesn't
carry on in the same vein, but is just a standard-issue teen sex
comedy.
Without all the sexual innuendo, breast jokes and gay (sometimes
homophobic) humor in "Fired Up," the movie would be about 10 minutes
long. There are implied nongraphic sexual situations, implied nudity,
actual bare behinds, profanity, sexual slang, and hints of beer
drinking. All this adds up to an iffy choice for middle-schoolers.
"Fanboys" (PG-13, LIMITED RELEASE, 1 hr., 30
min.)
This long-awaited film is part lewd road-trip farce and part valentine
to "Star Wars" geeks -- those guys who know every scrap of trivia
about the six live-action "Star Wars" films, while other aspects of
their lives (i.e. romance and career) languish. The movie could have
used more geekiness and less crassness to set itself apart, but it has
some mighty droll moments. It is too lewd, however, to recommend for
under-16s without parental OKs.
Set in 1998 (when the original script was first written; it took a
while to get this movie made), "Fanboys" follows the adventures of
four Midwestern guys recently out of high school: Eric (Sam
Huntington) is the one with a job, though it's at his dad's
(Christopher McDonald) car dealership; Hutch (Dan Fogler), a
sex-and-"Star Wars" crazed slacker, works out of his garage; Windows
(Jay Baruchel), a bespectacled nerd, longs for romance; and somber
Linus (Chris Marquette), who is terminally ill. On a kind of vision
quest, the four pile into a van and head west. They intend to steal a
print of the yet-to-be-released "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom
Menace" (PG, 1999) from director George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch in
California. It's been 16 years since "Star Wars: Episode VI - Return
of the Jedi" (PG, 1983), and the friends want Linus to see Lucas'
latest. Along the way, they battle "Star Trek" fans (i.e. Trekkers),
escape an angry pimp (Seth Rogen) in Las Vegas, and encounter celebs
in amusing cameos (William Shatner, Carrie Fisher and Billy Dee
Williams among them). Zoe (Kristen Bell), a female pal, bails the guys
out of jail.
Crass and bawdy, "Fanboys" could be a mild R for its crude verbal and
visual sexual innuendo and sexual language, nonexplicit sexual
situations, implied toplessness and partial undress, homophobic humor,
profanity, hallucinogenic drug use, and jokes about masturbation,
tampons and testicles. There's a thankfully understated subplot about
one guy's online romance with a "woman" who turns out to be 10 years
old.
----
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various
ages
-- OK FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER
"Coraline" PG -- Director Henry Selick's brilliant stop-motion
animated film is exciting fare for kids 8 and older who love scary
fairy tales -- a work of gorgeous, funny-frightening complexity. The
film was shot in 3-D and is worth seeing in that format. However,
easily spooked children as old as 12 may find the second half
upsetting. After all, it's about a little girl who enters a menacing
through-the-looking-glass world and nearly loses her parents. Coraline
(voice of Dakota Fanning) lives in a ramshackle apartment with her
parents (Teri Hatcher and John Hodgman), both writers who have no time
for her. One night, she follows an acrobat neighbor's (Ian McShane)
performing mice through a little door and into a place that looks like
home, only brighter, with her parents acting all cheery. But Other
Mother and Other Father have buttons for eyes and want to replace
Coraline's eyes, too. She must escape. Everything in this surreal
world transforms in unsettling ways. The film includes a few crass
words and shows lady acrobats in scanty costumes. It does end happily.
"The Pink Panther 2" PG -- This movie will tickle those who
love pure silliness, and it's a vast improvement over Steve Martin's
first attempt ("The Pink Panther," PG, 2006) to update the 1960s and
'70s Inspector Clouseau comedies. This time, the bumbling Paris cop
joins a team investigating major thefts, including the Pink Panther
diamond. In a lovely sequence, Clouseau skulks clumsily outside a
mansion, his pratfalls captured soundlessly on security cameras in a
nod to silent film comedies. He also tumbles off the pope's balcony,
dressed in papal robes, yet the scene seems inoffensive. There is much
semi-bawdy sexual innuendo, some of it verbal ("foreplay") and some of
it focusing on cleavages and derrieres. There are mild ethnic insults.
"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" PG -- Comic Kevin James brings a lovely
mix of heart and innocence to the title role in this amusing family
comedy about a buffoonish shopping-mall security guard who scoots
around on a Segway, trying to look like a real cop. When a gang of
robbers takes hostages in the mall, Paul tries to foil them solo. Kids
under 10 may be upset when the bad guys threaten to kill hostages.
There is gunfire and an explosion. Paul's daughter (Raini Rodriguez)
is put in danger. It's implied that Paul's Segway hits a dog. We see
the back of a shopper's bra as she beats Paul up. He gets drunk, and
we see a tattoo on his bottom. There is mild sexual innuendo and
swearing.
----
-- OK FOR 10 AND OLDER:
"Confessions of a Shopaholic" PG -- The credit-card-maxing
habits of Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher), the dizzy, addicted shopper
of the title, are fun to watch. She thinks store mannequins
talk to her. Then the pallid romantic plot kicks in, and the
comedy congeals. Luke (Hugh Dancy), the ever-so-cute editor of a
finance magazine, hires Rebecca to write about saving money. He knows
nothing of her $16,000 credit-card debt or that Rebecca's friend
(excellent Krysten Ritter) has enrolled her in a 12-step program for
shopaholics. Likely to entertain kids (mostly girls) 10 and older, the
film (based on novels by Sophie Kinsella) shows that shopping
addiction is real and spending more than you have is bad, yet it also
revels in the designer stuff Rebecca buys. There is mild sexual
innuendo, a joke about a statue's penis, and characters get drunk.
----
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"Fired Up" (NEW) -- Two girl-crazy high-school football players
(Nicholas D'Agosto and Eric Christian Olsen) sign up for cheerleading
camp instead of football, hoping to score more than touchdowns in this
crass, marginally diverting comedy. Without all the sexual innuendo,
breast jokes and gay (sometimes homophobic) humor in "Fired Up," the
movie would be about 10 minutes long. There are implied nongraphic
sexual situations, implied nudity, actual bare behinds, profanity,
sexual slang, and implied beer drinking. Shawn (D'Agosto), the less
cynical of the two lotharios, is drawn to cheerleader Carly (Sarah
Roemer), but her bullying college boyfriend (David Walton) is a
threat. Only once does "Fired Up" actually show a spark -- a scene in
which all the cheerleaders at the camp watch "Bring It On" (PG-13,
2000), the hit cheerleading movie with Kirsten Dunst. They repeat all
the lines from memory along with the actors on-screen. Too bad the
rest of the film isn't as witty. Too crude for middle-schoolers.
"Fanboys" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) -- This long-awaited film is
part crass road-trip comedy and part valentine to "Star Wars" geeks.
It could have used more geekiness and less crass-itude, but it's often
mighty droll. It is 1998. Four guys recently out of high school --
Eric (Sam Huntington), who works at his dad's (Christopher McDonald)
car dealership; Hutch (Dan Fogler), a sex-and-"Star Wars"-crazed
slacker; Windows (Jay Baruchel), a shy nerd; and somber Linus (Chris
Marquette), who is terminally ill -- pile into a van and head west.
They intend to break into director George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch in
California and steal a print of the yet-to-be-released "Star Wars:
Episode I -- The Phantom Menace" (PG, 1999). It's been 16 years since
the last film ("Star Wars: Episode VI -- Return of the Jedi," PG,
1983), and they want Linus to see the new one. On the way, they battle
"Star Trek" fans, escape an angry pimp (Seth Rogen) in Las Vegas, and
meet celebs in amusing cameos (William Shatner, Carrie Fisher and
Billy Dee Williams). "Fanboys" could be rated R, with its
overabundance of crude sexual innuendo and slang, jokes about
masturbation, tampons and testicles, homophobic humor and implied
toplessness. There are also nongraphic sexual situations, profanity,
hallucinogenic drugs and toilet humor. A thankfully understated
subplot involves Windows' online romance with a female who turns out
to be 10 years old. Too crude for 16 and older without parental OK.
"Push" -- High-schoolers into science-fiction thrillers may
find "Push" very cool. Even with American stars, it feels like a Hong
Kong action flick, with bright, jumpy visuals, eccentric characters,
and "hey there, cupcake!" dialogue that rings smartly film-noir. The
story, alas, gets tied up in knots. Operatives with superhuman
mental/kinetic powers clash in Hong Kong. Nick (Chris Evans), who can
make things float, hides from the evil "Division" that trained him,
but "sniffers" can track him. Cassie (Dakota Fanning), a 13-year-old
"watcher" who sees the future, enlists Nick to rescue her mother, but
warns they must alter the future first, or die. There is gunplay,
impalement, ears shattered by screams, suicides forced by mind
control, midrange profanity, sexual innuendo, smoking, and hints of
drug use. Young Cassie gets drunk. Not so much for middle-schoolers.
"He's Just Not That Into You" -- Crisp, funny and poignant,
this romantic comedy (with a little drama) adds characters and plot to
the popular nonfiction book's advice. It subtly chides young singles
for casual affairs and stifled emotions. Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin)
practically stalks guys who promise to call and then don't. Conor
(Kevin Connolly) pines for Anna (Scarlett Johansson), who takes up
with Ben (Bradley Cooper), who's married to Janine (Jennifer
Connelly), whose friend Beth (Jennifer Aniston) lives with Neil (Ben
Affleck), who won't marry her, while Mary (Drew Barrymore) can't get a
date. Gigi then gets eye-opening advice from Alex (Justin Long). There
are semiexplicit sexual trysts, one with implied nudity. There is
crude sexual slang, midrange profanity, drinking, and implied smoking.
A better bet for high-schoolers 16 and older.
"Taken" -- Liam Neeson plays a retired CIA operative who uses
his expertise in violence to rescue his 18-year-old daughter (Maggie
Grace) after she and a friend (Katie Cassidy) are abducted while on a
trip to Paris. He uses what he hears in her panicked phone call, plus
his intelligence contacts, to home in on a gang of Albanian thugs who
kidnap and drug girls, then use them as prostitutes, even auctioning
off virgins. It's a lurid theme. The film makes ingenious use of
re-enactment. The stabbing, shooting, head-bashing, car-crashing
violence is intense but not graphic, and the portrayal of prostitution
and the drugged girls is not explicit. There is midrange profanity,
and a few crude sexual references. The film feeds negative stereotypes
of Muslims in its villains. Not for middle-schoolers.
----
-- R's:
"The International" (NEW) -- Fine actors, intriguing locations
and a stunning shootout in the New York City's Guggenheim Museum help
"The International" hold its audience, despite a frustratingly opaque
plot -- something about an international bank with tentacles in the
worlds of weapons, politics, and terrorism. High-schoolers too young
to remember the BCCI (Bank of Credit and Commerce International)
scandal of the 1980s won't recognize the film's inspiration, but may
find its point of view -- that international banks profit from tragedy
-- engrossing. Interpol investigator Lou Salinger (Clive Owen) becomes
convinced that an international bank had his partner killed and is
trying to cover up a weapons deal. He works with a Manhattan assistant
district attorney (Naomi Watts) on a chase to Europe and beyond. The R
rating reflects blood-spurting, point-blank shootouts, strong
profanity, but almost no sexual innuendo except for a remark about
"getting laid."
"Friday the 13th" -- A new generation of good-looking,
hard-partying 20-somethings suffer grisly deaths at the hands of the
seemingly immortal slasher-in-a-hockey-mask, Jason Voorhees (Derek
Mears), in this update of the 1980 original and its 80 (perhaps I
exaggerate) sequels, all rated R. Graphic and bloody, with
impalements, throat-slashings and a beheading, as well as strong
profanity, explicit sexual situations, near-nudity, marijuana use and
drinking, this "Friday the 13th" will satisfy fans of the slasher
genre, but it is not for under-17s without parental OK. I agree with
whoever said these films are blend horror and soft-core pornography.