Family Film Reviews

"The Incredible Hulk" (PG-13, 1 hr., 54 min.)

This new big-screen take on the Marvel Comics anti-hero is lighter on its giant green feet than the grim 2003 movie ("Hulk," PG-13). It has the frenetic energy of a chase thriller such as "The Bourne Ultimatum" (PG-13, 2007), though its dialogue scenes don't exactly crackle and at times are just plain lame, as if director Louis Leterrier wasn't as interested in the slow, quiet stuff. Even so, "The Incredible Hulk" is largely an entertaining ride. It takes place five years after scientist Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) was caught in an experiment gone wrong and afflicted with "gamma sickness." Whenever he gets angry, he morphs into the superstrong, wild-eyed, seething, very green Hulk (voiced by one-time TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno, who also appears in a cameo). Yes, he is one big metaphor.

Banner has been living incognito in a Brazilian slum, working at a bottling plant, practicing anger management, and hiding from the amoral Gen. Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt), who wants to use Banner's freakish condition to create uber-soldiers. Ross figures out where Banner lives and sends commandos to capture him, but they arrive just as bullies have picked a fight with him and he has become the Hulk after months of keeping his alter ego at bay. He pounds the bullies, then escapes, eventually making his way to the college where his love, fellow scientist Betty (Liv Tyler), the general's estranged daughter, teaches. Stunned to see him, but still in love, Betty tries to help. It is their almost-love scenes and lackluster dialogue that let the movie get dippy now and then. Meanwhile, the lead commando, Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), demands to be given the same poison that damaged Banner, in hopes of enhancing his own strength for their next fight, which is a deafening doozy.

The movie is fine for most high-schoolers, but some moments could freak out more sensitive middle-schoolers. There are huge hypodermic needles and gross morphing scenes when Banner transforms into the Hulk, and when Blonsky becomes Hulk's far ickier nemesis, the Abomination, with vertebrae bursting out of his huge lizard-headed frame. The chases, helicopter crashes, car-hurling and massive gun battles are lively, loud and long, but not exceptionally graphic. There is also semi-crude language, a brief nonexplicit sexual situation and cigar smoking.

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Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages

-- FINE FOR KIDS 6 AND OLDER:

"Kung Fu Panda" PG -- A pudgy panda in ancient China dreams of being a Kung Fu master in this riotous, artfully animated treat. "Kung Fu Panda" doesn't use cheap pop-culture jokes or double-entendres. It unfolds as a classic hero's journey among animal characters, with deliciously inventive verbal and visual humor. Po the panda (voice of Jack Black) lives with his dad, a goose named Mr. Ping (James Hong), and works in the family noodle shop, wishing he could be a hero instead. One day, Kung Fu master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) holds a contest at the local palace between the Furious Five -- Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Viper (Lucy Liu) and Crane (David Cross). The winner will fulfill a prophecy and defeat the evil snow leopard Tai Lung (Ian McShane). Po, in his lumbering efforts to get over the palace walls to see the contest, crash-lands in front of Shifu and the ancient turtle Oogway (Randall Duk Kim). Oogway decides Po is destined to fulfill the prophecy and Shifu grudgingly trains him. These sequences are a riot. Po's self-doubts and the message about being "your own hero" will resonate. Fine fare for most kids 6 and older, and many kindergartners, the film does contain intense fights, but the action is very stylized. The yellow-eyed snow leopard may scare the littlest kids. There is a line about Po getting hit in "the tenders."

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-- MORE FOR 10 AND OLDER:

"The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" PG -- Plenty of kids 10 and older will dive happily into this second installment, but a familiarity with the first film ("The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," PG, 2005), or with the books by C.S. Lewis would help, as the new film assumes prior knowledge. "Prince Caspian" is a solid enough fantasy/epic, but slower, darker and less funny than the first film, more sword-and-sorcery than storybook. The four Pevensie kids -- Lucy (Georgie Henley), Peter (William Moseley), Edmund (Skandar Keynes) and Susan (Anna Popplewell) -- are back in World War II-era London. Thirteen-hundred years have passed in Narnia time. The magical land and its creatures are ruled by the evil human, Miraz (Sergio Castellitto), who plots against his nephew, Prince Caspian (bland Ben Barnes), the true heir to the throne. Caspian sounds a magical horn and the Pevensies are whisked back. Battle scenes push the PG limit, implying that arrows and blades pierce flesh. Kids under 10 may cringe at a charging bear and two demons. The film begins with an intense childbirth scene. Christian parable aspects of Lewis' tale are subtle. Kids of any faith can enjoy it.

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-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:

"The Incredible Hulk" (NEW) -- This new big-screen take on the Marvel Comics anti-hero is lighter on its feet than the tiresome 2003 "Hulk" (PG-13). It has the frenetic energy of a good chase thriller, though its dialogue and quiet scenes could use more crackle. Still, "The Incredible Hulk" is a largely entertaining, if deafening ride, with stunningly wrought fight scenes. It takes place five years after scientist Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) was afflicted with "gamma sickness" in an experiment gone wrong. When he gets angry, Banner morphs into the powerful, green, seething Hulk (voiced here by one-time TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno). He has been hiding out in a Brazilian slum, working at a bottling plant, practicing anger management and avoiding Gen. Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt), who wants to harness the Hulk syndrome for the military. Ross figures out where Banner lives and sends commandos to capture him, but they arrive just as bullies have picked a fight with Banner and he has become the Hulk. He escapes, then makes his way to the college where his love, Betty (Liv Tyler), the general's estranged daughter, teaches. Ross' lead commando Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) asks to be exposed to the same experiment, in hopes of enhancing his own strength. The chases, helicopter crashes and massive gun battles are loud and long, but not especially graphic. However, middle-schoolers may blanch at huge hypodermic needles and scenes in which Banner morphs into the Hulk, and Blonsky becomes Hulk's nemesis, the huge Abomination, with his backbone popping out of his giant frame. There is also some semi-crude language, a brief nonexplicit sexual situation, and cigar smoking.

"You Don't Mess with the Zohan" -- Adam Sandler messes with the Israeli-Palestinian dispute in miniature here, but his farce trivializes the conflict. High-schoolers will learn little about the issues, but a lot about hummus and stereotypes. There are laugh-out-loud moments, but the bawdy humor makes the film too lewd for middle-schoolers. Sandler plays Israeli Army commando Zohan, whose real passions are hairstyling and sex. During a shootout with a terrorist (John Turturro), Zohan fakes his own death, travels to New York, lands a job at a Palestinian-owned salon run by the lovely Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), and is stunned to see Israelis and Palestinians living peaceably on the block. He quickly becomes the stylist/seducer of ladies over 60. The movie runs on crude sexual slang and innuendo, strongly implied sexual situations and crotch gags. The violence is comedic, too. There are ethnic slurs, gay jokes and mild profanity.

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" -- Nearly 20 years after "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" (PG-13, 1989), this belated fourth chapter offers flashes of high amusement, yet feels a little forced, a little cobbled-together and at times a little dull. It is 1957. Intrepid archeologist Indiana Jones at 60-plus is still wry and athletic. The film opens with him held captive by KGB agents led by a rapier-wielding woman (Cate Blanchett). Jones escapes, but loses his teaching job when the red-baiting FBI doubts his story. Mutt (Shia LaBeouf), a young Marlon Brando wannabe, brings news that a colleague (John Hurt) has been kidnapped in the Peruvian jungle after finding an ancient crystal skull. Jones and Mutt go to Peru and face tribesmen and KGB. Aside from near-bloodless gunplay and fights, there are wild stunts (a few of which fall a tad flat) and chases. Under-10s may cower at man-eating ants, scorpions, mummified skeletons, zombie-like creatures and a shattering nuclear test. There is mild profanity and drinking. OK for most teens and preteens, but adults may need to explain the Cold War.

"Iron Man" -- Spun off its Marvel Comics roots, this superhero flick is smartly written, crisply acted and elegantly designed, with gasp-inducing action and flashes of intellectual and moral heft. It is, however, too long, and jihadist villains seem a cheesy choice. Robert Downey Jr. exudes both hip and cool as weapons magnate Tony Stark, who is injured and captured by Afghan insurgents. He survives thanks to insertion by a fellow captive of a glowing electromagnetic device in his chest to keep shrapnel out of his heart, then secretly builds a weaponized, robotic suit of armor and escapes. He announces he will no longer sell weapons and builds a supersonic armored suit so he can protect the innocent. The violence is thunderous, but nearly bloodless. It includes implied torture, images of surgery and Afghan families threatened at gunpoint. There is profanity, a nongraphic sexual situation, mild sexual innuendo and drinking. OK for teens who can handle war scenes.

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-- R's:

"The Happening" (NEW) -- The very leaves on the trees turn against humanity in this cautionary thriller about an airborne, foliage-bred toxin that breezes through New York's Central Park, disorienting people and causing them to commit suicide. The phenomenon quickly wafts across the Eastern seaboard. This R-rated fable is not writer/director M. Night Shyamalan's best work ("The Sixth Sense," PG-13, 1999), nor his weakest ("Lady in the Water," PG-13, 2006). It is likely to grab high-schoolers with its well-drawn characters, strong emotions and neatly dramatized post-9/11 sense of dread. That noted, the dialogue can get clunky and the later catastrophes drolly repetitive. Yet in its understated creepiness, the movie echoes the great old "Twilight Zone" TV show (1959-64). Mark Wahlberg plays Elliott, a kindhearted Philadelphia high-school science teacher. He, his wife (Zooey Deschanel), his pal (John Leguizamo), and his pal's little daughter (Ashlyn Sanchez) flee to the countryside with other evacuees, the toxin at their heels. The film is a mildish R, but includes strongly implied hanging and gun suicides (the gunshots just off-camera), and people jumping off buildings. There are also graphic gun murders and a scene in which a zoo lion tears off a man's arms. There is mild profanity and sexual innuendo. OK for most high-schoolers.

"Sex and the City" -- As a sequel to HBO's hit series, this prolonged celebration of self-absorption feels like an endless, vacuous soap opera, despite the fab clothes and racy repartee. One hopes that girls 17 and older will at least acknowledge the crass consumption that fuels the four fashionista friends of "Sex and the City" as much as romance. Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), the narrator and chronicler of their adventures, plans to wed wealthily with her on-again-off-again love, Mr. Big (Chris Noth). Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) is a harried wife and mother, stunned when husband Steve (David Eigenberg) confesses an infidelity. Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is a mom and happily married to Harry (Evan Handler), but scared her luck won't last. Samantha (Kim Cattrall), the most promiscuous pal, lives with her actor-lover (Jason Lewis) in L.A. and is bored. The film's forgiveness, love and friendship finale doesn't make up for what comes before. There are explicit sexual situations, sexual language, nudity, crude humor, profanity and drinking. Not for under-17s.

"The Strangers" -- Three masked home invaders toy with a terrified couple, then turn violent in this worst-nightmare scarefest. "The Strangers" leaves you with an appropriately clammy feeling, but offers little in the way of actual entertainment, as it is a dour enterprise. James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler, whose deer-in-the-headlights acting doesn't help) are just home from a party and have had a falling out. There is a knock at the door -- a girl standing in the shadows asks for someone who doesn't live there. Later the knocking resumes and escalates into terror. The film contains a bloody shooting, stabbings, a steamy but nongraphic sex scene, occasional profanity and smoking. OK for hardy teens 16 and older.