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"Did you all see the guy at Yankee Stadium that jumped from the upper deck into the net that catches the foul balls? He jumped like 50 feet. How can anyone get that drunk off $8 beers!" -- Dave Letterman

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"Yesterday Jennifer Wilbanks, the runaway bride had to cut the lawn of a city building as part of her community service. However, she was using a riding mower and was in Arizona by the evening." -- Conan O'Brien

 

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"Today after President Bush signed the new transportation bill he said that it's not enough to just pass the law - he said now "people have to show up to do the work." Then he went back to his five-week vacation." -- Jay Leno


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