Jokes / Entertainment

Art Supply

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches. Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?" Me: "Certainly, what width?" Customer: (...

English School

Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of...

Florida

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto arrived in Florida. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver... "Say, is this really a healthful place?" "It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any...

Housecleaning (or maybe not...)

I don't do windows because ... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and they may sue me. I don't mind the...

Falling Apart

There's quite an art to falling apart .... as these years go by. And life Doesn't begin at 40 .... That's a Big Fat Lie! My hair's gettin' thinner .... my Body is Not. The few Teeth I have .... are beginning to Rot! I smell of Vick's-Vapo-...