Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
In a new interview, the Dalai Lama says watching TV is a waste of time. And I'm like, "What? How dare you, Mr. Lama!" What does the Dalai Lama care about wasting time? He's eternally reborn. He's got all the time in the world. Craig Ferguson
One of the Knicks players, Raymond Felton, was arrested for carrying a concealed gun. That makes him the first openly stupid player on the Knicks. David Letterman
The Oscars are coming up. Or as they're officially called: "Hoarders, the Meryl Streep Edition." Conan O'Brien
The big story right now is what’s going on in the Ukraine. They’ve overthrown the government, and President Viktor Yanukovych is on the run. The Ukrainian people are looking through his home and just hanging out, like having barbecues at his ...