Jokes / Entertainment

Signs That You Are Too Drunk

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely ...

Juror

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can't they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.

Classwork

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is...

Screenwriter

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing wife is standing outside. "What happened, honey?" the man asks. "Oh, John, it was terrible," she weeps. "I was cooking when the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the ...

Real Teachers

Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk at Sam's. Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher's lounge. Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine ...

Lost Wife

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "You know I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" asked the woman "Because every time I talk to a beautiful ...