There's ALWAYS a reason.
The government just announced that next year [Obamacare] premiums are going up by 25 percent. I haven’t seen Obama hike something so high since he stopped wearing mom jeans. Affordable healthcare will just never work for this country. Insane medical bills are as American as hot dogs, apple pie, and the $3,600 bill to remove the hot dog lodged ...Read more
A political science professor at SUNY Stony Brook claims he has developed a new mathematical model that predicts Donald Trump will win the election. Said Trump, “Mathematical model? She sounds ugly. Hard pass.”
The Vatican has issued new guidelines on cremation, saying Catholics must bury the ashes in a cemetery. Which is too bad, because I wanted my ashes to be a secret ingredient on the show “Chopped.”
Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton - Epic Rap Battles of History
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite...
Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? It had no guts...
Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray...
Who was the most famous French skeleton? Napoleon bone-...Read more
25. Child Proof
24. "Now, then ..."
23. Synthetic natural gas
22. Christian Scientists
21. Passive aggression
20. Taped live
19. Clearly misunderstood
18. Peace force
17. Extinct Life
16. Temporary tax increase
15. Computer jock
14. Plastic glasses
13. Terribly ...Read more
The Indigo Journals: Spiritual Healing For Indigo Adults & Other Feminine SoulsYol Swan
Are you sensitive, creative and empathetic, and feel out of place in a world that doesn't make sense to you? This 2016 Readers' Favorite Book Award Finalist will take you on a spiritual healing journey of self-discovery and personal growth to better understand yourself and others, unlock your...
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist! He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, ...Read more
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,
"Sir, ...Read more
The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.
Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be confusing.
So their first meeting...Read more
3 Rules for Rulers
Prepare for Walking Dead's finale by reliving your favorite scenes -- or, at least the scenes that would have been your favorites.
The Chicago Cubs are going to the World Series! The Cubs are playing another lovable loser, the Cleveland Indians. The two teams have a combined 176 years without a championship. To put that in perspective, that is almost as long as a baseball game feels.
Samsung announced recently that people who turn in their recalled Galaxy Note 7 phones will be eligible for a free Note 8 next year when it debuts. Said customers, "I'm not falling for it. I've been burned by Samsung before."
There is a new bike lock that prevents theft by releasing a gas that makes a robber throw up if they cut the lock. So, the good news is: Your bike wasn’t stolen. The bad news: It’s covered in robber vomit.
From HBO's Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
Donald Trump's son, Eric, was out on the campaign trail, and a lot of people online noticed that Eric was photographed at an In-N-Out Burger holding a free water cup that was filled with lemonade. While the employee who gave it to him said, “That wasn’t lemonade.”
On the Listening Tour, a prominent politician was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town he was visiting had named a sandwich after him.
He was somewhat less pleased after he found out what was in it.
"Mostly baloney," said the proprietor.
Tommy Shaughnessy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'...Read more