- Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.

- When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

- Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

- Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!

- If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

- When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.

- Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing!

- As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.