Quick Quotes
Published in Jokes
"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni
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"They do a lot of animal testing in the cosmetics industry, maybe they should brag about it in their ads. 'Aquanet hair spray, if it can blind a spider monkey, it can make your hair look luscious.'" -Vernon Chapman
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"I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work very well. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I went back to pondering my mortality." -Mitch Hedberg
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