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"Today on MSNBC they posted an article: "How to Avoid a Bear Attack." Number one tip: "never surprise a bear". Like if it's his birthday, the whole surprise party is bad, just give him a gift...they hate the "Booo!" --Jay Leno

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"President Bush is taking his summer vacation. This is his fiftieth vacation in the last five years -- that's about the national average isn't it? During his five-week vacation, he will continue to receive national security briefings. He won't be reading them, but he will receive them." --David Letterman

 

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"It was reported today that an anti-Hillary website has only be able to raise $12,000. When asked why Bill Clinton said, 'That's all I had.'" --Conan O'Brien


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