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How Captain America: Civil War Should Have Ended

Humor / Jokes /

How Captain America: Civil War Should Have Ended

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

A British Airways flight had to make an emergency landing recently after the cabin strongly smelled like marijuana. Even worse, the pilot was flying at, like, 5 miles per hour.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

The Democrats have had some impressive speakers so far. Last night Michelle Obama delivered her second convention speech of the week. The first lady made a very powerful point. She noted that she and her husband wake up every day in a house built by slaves. To which Donald Trump replied, “Really? Can I get the name of your contractor?”

...Read more

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Legal experts are saying it’s only a matter of time before someone uses Pokémon Go as an excuse for committing a crime. At least then we’ll get to hear the first lawyer ever to use the "Squirtle Defense."

Conan O'Brien

Jimmy Fallon: Donald Trump's Surprise RNC Speech

Humor / Jokes /

Donald Trump delivers an unexpected speech on night two of the Republican National Convention to address the controversy surrounding Melania's speech and more.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

Bernie Sanders said that he knows people are disappointed in the results of the primaries, saying, “I think it’s fair to say nobody is more disappointed than I am.” At which point, Jeb Bush threw his empty Hagen Daazs container at the TV.

Jimmy Fallon

Ten Reasons Why TV Is Better Than The World-Wide Web

Humor / Jokes /

1. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.

2. When was the last time you tuned in to "Friends" and got a "Not Found 404" message?

3. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.

4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.

5. A remote control has fewer buttons than a ...Read more

Differences Between Men and Women

Humor / Jokes /

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack ...Read more

Tired Dog

Humor / Jokes /

One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging laundry when a tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog's collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and ...Read more

Express Lane

Humor / Jokes /

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy...Read more

Computers and Women

Humor / Jokes /

Our gender jokes were so popular last week, we have decided to run some more. If any subscribers can think of some male computer jokes that are clean and funny, send them in (by using the feedback link at the bottom of this page) and we'll run them in this ezine with your name credited (optional) to them.

A ... HARD-DISK Woman: She ...Read more

Steven Ho Teaches Conan Defense Against Guns & Knives

Humor / Jokes /

Just remember: "Scurry out. That's all you can really do."

Hungry For Power Games: Democratic National Convention Edition

Humor / Jokes /

Julius Flickerman and his pet weasel Caligula are back, descending into the belly of the beast to report from the DNC in Philadelphia.

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

First Lady Michelle Obama spoke tonight on the first day of the Democratic National Convention, while Melania Trump furiously took notes.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

After the Republican Convention last week, the DNC was supposed to be the boring one. It was quite the opposite. Every time Hillary Clinton's name was mentioned there were boos from Bernie Sanders fans. Even Bernie had to ask his supporters to calm down. After a year of telling them not to calm down. It's like Chef Boyardee telling people to ...Read more

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

According to a poll, 90 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters plan to vote for Hillary Clinton in November. The other 10 percent plan to put their hand down the sink and then turn on the disposal.

Conan O'Brien

10th Annual Jimmy Kimmel Live Belly Flop Competition

Humor / Jokes /

We have a cherished tradition at the show. Every year we set up an above-ground swimming pool, pull a group of confused pedestrians off the street, put them in bathing suits and make them compete in a belly flop contest. This year’s celebrity judges include Olympian Lolo Jones, TV/fashion personality EJ Johnson and our own Aunt Chippy.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

We may be seeing more Trumps in politics. In fact, Donald Trump's son, Donald Jr., told CNN he hasn't ruled out running for mayor of New York next year. When she heard that, Hillary Clinton turned to Chelsea and said, "Clear your schedule."

Jimmy Fallon

Undeniable Adult Truths pt. 1

Humor / Jokes /

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you ...Read more

Paying for Twitter

Humor / Jokes /

There’s talk that Mitt Romney’s campaign is paying for Twitter followers. Yes, he’s paying for people to like him. Or, as it’s called politics.

Jimmy Fallon

 
 

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