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Best Fails of the Month May 2016

Humor / Jokes /

Here are the best fails of May. Let us know what you think or submit a video at failarmy.com

Pouring Liquid Nitrogen in a Pool

Humor / Jokes /

I pour Liquid Nitrogen, Diethyl Ether, and Dry Ice into my pool. Can liquid nitrogen put out a fire? what about dry ice? Diethyl ether is one of the most flammable solvents around.

Mormon Secrets: What the Missionaries Don't Tell

Humor / Jokes /

When the Mormon missionaries come knocking at your door, there is more than meets the eye. They say they are Christians, but there's a lot they are hiding from you! What would it look like if they were actually honest? Let's find out!

Foreign Language

Humor / Jokes /

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.

The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

Fasten Seat Belts

Humor / Jokes /

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.

Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.

"Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los ...Read more

Monks

Humor / Jokes /

A man in the middle ages became fed up with humanity and decided to spend the rest of his life in a monastery. The abbot warned him that he would have to take a vow of silence and live the rest of his life as a scribe, to which the man replied, "No Problem. I'm sick of talking."

Ten years went by, and the abbot called for the man. He told him ...Read more

Football Pool

Humor / Jokes /

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her.

'Think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news,' suggested the eldest son.

The doctor soon arrived and the ...Read more

Technical Issues with License

Humor / Jokes /

A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn't, sent them off to get one.

They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed...Read more

Disney Princess Date Night

Humor / Jokes /

Disney Princess Date Night

Stupid Things That Parents Do ( + FUPA )

Humor / Jokes /

Stupid Things That Parents Do ( + FUPA )

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

This is a crazy election. But, of course, you know that, unless you have been in a coma. And if you were in a coma, you might want to slip back in for the next six months.

Stephen Colbert

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

A city in South Wales is on alert following reports that local sheep may have consumed marijuana from an illegal grow operation and have begun breaking into homes. So if you live in Wales, be sure to lock up your Doritos.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

The Secret Service had to sweep our building for the second day today. I've had so many pat-downs this week, one of the Secret Service guys told me to get checked because I had a lump.

Jimmy Kimmel

What If Superman Was Adopted By The Waynes

Humor / Jokes /

Ever imagine what would happen if Superman took Batman's place as the son of the Wayne family?

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

It's being reported the Obama family is planning to move into a nine-bedroom mansion in Washington, D.C., after the president leaves office. I guess he wants to be close enough to drive by the White House every morning and shout, "Sucks, doesn't it?”

Jimmy Fallon

Number 12

Humor / Jokes /

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.

"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.

"You're under 18," replies the barman.

Two Trouble Makers

Humor / Jokes /

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The ...Read more

Expressions Explained, Part II

Humor / Jokes /

Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in "straight laced," wore a tightly tied lace.

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Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace of Spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards...Read more

Only In America

Humor / Jokes /

Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America ... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in ...Read more

School Zone

Humor / Jokes /

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same...Read more

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