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Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

Last night at the Democratic Convention, Bernie Sanders supporters staged a walkout. Witnesses say they’ll never forget the sound of 6,000 pairs of Crocs leaving the convention.

Conan O'Brien

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

After Michelle Obama’s speech where she said the White House was built by slaves, Fox News host Bill O’Reilly said the slaves who built the White House were "well fed" and had "decent lodging." Leave it to Fox News to provide a fair and balanced view of slavery.

Conan O'Brien

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

In a video last night, Hillary Clinton told little girls that they can grow up to be president. In response, little girls said "Thanks, but we’d rather be Beyoncé."

Conan O'Brien

Uber For Jen - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

Jen's (Elizabeth Banks) Uber ride takes a strange turn when her driver (Mike O'Brien) refuses to follow directions.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

The first sentence of Bill Clinton’s speech was "In the spring of 1971, I met a girl." You can imagine the relief in the room when they realized he was talking about Hillary.

Conan O'Brien

Who's On First for the Computer Age pt. 4

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. At no extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: ...Read more

Stupidity Sign

Humor / Jokes /

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend ...Read more

Young and Foolish

Humor / Jokes /

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.

This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"

What a man wants...

Humor / Jokes /

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.

'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'

So he tied her up and went golfing.

Marriage

Humor / Jokes /

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." -- Oscar Wilde

How Captain America: Civil War Should Have Ended

Humor / Jokes /

How Captain America: Civil War Should Have Ended

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

A British Airways flight had to make an emergency landing recently after the cabin strongly smelled like marijuana. Even worse, the pilot was flying at, like, 5 miles per hour.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

The Democrats have had some impressive speakers so far. Last night Michelle Obama delivered her second convention speech of the week. The first lady made a very powerful point. She noted that she and her husband wake up every day in a house built by slaves. To which Donald Trump replied, “Really? Can I get the name of your contractor?”

...Read more

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Legal experts are saying it’s only a matter of time before someone uses Pokémon Go as an excuse for committing a crime. At least then we’ll get to hear the first lawyer ever to use the "Squirtle Defense."

Conan O'Brien

Jimmy Fallon: Donald Trump's Surprise RNC Speech

Humor / Jokes /

Donald Trump delivers an unexpected speech on night two of the Republican National Convention to address the controversy surrounding Melania's speech and more.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

Bernie Sanders said that he knows people are disappointed in the results of the primaries, saying, “I think it’s fair to say nobody is more disappointed than I am.” At which point, Jeb Bush threw his empty Hagen Daazs container at the TV.

Jimmy Fallon

Ten Reasons Why TV Is Better Than The World-Wide Web

Humor / Jokes /

1. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.

2. When was the last time you tuned in to "Friends" and got a "Not Found 404" message?

3. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.

4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.

5. A remote control has fewer buttons than a ...Read more

Differences Between Men and Women

Humor / Jokes /

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack ...Read more

Tired Dog

Humor / Jokes /

One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging laundry when a tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog's collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and ...Read more

Express Lane

Humor / Jokes /

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy...Read more

 
 

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