Humor

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Entertainment

Toying With the Telemarketer pt. 4

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don’t think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. ...Read more

Classes for Men: Day Two

Humor / Jokes /

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL...Read more

Philosophy and the Talented Doggie

Humor / Jokes /

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.

For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a ...Read more

Perfection

Humor / Jokes /

The preacher said, "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up."

Nobody stood up.

"Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up."

One elderly gentleman stood up.

"Are you honestly saying you knew an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat amazed.

"Well now, I didn't know ...Read more

Yummy Fruit

Humor / Jokes /

A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?"

She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?"

From the back of the room came a voice, "He'd be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries."

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

America just dominated the 2016 Olympics! That's right, we killed it. We got 121 medals! And I'm not surprised. I watched the Games here in the States — can't remember the channel — and from what I saw, apparently only Americans competed.

Stephen Colbert

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Police in Australia are searching for a group of men seen releasing live crocodiles into a school building. Though, if you ask me, they should probably be searching for the crocodiles.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Last week, Twitter introduced a "quality filter" that gets rid of tweets that contain spam, mean, or unwanted content. An hour later, Twitter filed for bankruptcy.

Conan O'Brien

Video

Humor / Jokes /

No body

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

There are life-sized nude statues of Donald Trump. They showed up in cities across the country. You'd be walking in the park, and you see this statue [shows images]. Forget building the wall, Trump should just put a bunch of those things at the border.

Jimmy Fallon

Ways to Maintain Sanity

Humor / Jokes /

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

When the money comes out the ...Read more

North vs. South

Humor / Jokes /

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races...Read more

Seasoned Blind Date

Humor / Jokes /

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her room-mate.

"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner!"

The Perils of Growing Older

Humor / Jokes /

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget." So they awakened the old man and asked him to tell a...Read more

Robbed

Humor / Jokes /

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man responded, "You can't do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"

"In that case,"replied the mugger, "give me my money."

CLASSIC: Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

All the presidential candidates are trying to woo millennials. I'm not sure college kids can identify with 22 people desperately fighting for one job. No surprise, the leader in the race to attract them on social media is Hillary Clinton. After all, a Clinton in the White House is the ultimate #ThrowbackThursday.

entertainment/humor/jokes/s-1865067">Read more

CLASSIC: Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Republican candidate Jeb Bush is struggling to get traction against Donald Trump. Trump is even dominating in Jeb's home state of Florida, where the former governor is behind by 15 points. That makes sense that Florida likes Trump — they're used to life-size cartoon characters with giant heads.

entertainment/humor/jokes/s-1865060">Read more

CLASSIC: Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

A couple in San Francisco hired a house sitter from trustedhousesitters.com to watch their house while they were away at Burning Man. But instead, the house sitter listed it on Airbnb and earned $2,000 by renting it out. I think you're in trouble when you're using a site called trustedhousesitters.com.

entertainment/humor/jokes/s-1865053">Read more

CLASSIC: Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

The Pope's going to be at the White House. As Trump put it, Obama is letting another Hispanic guy in.

Conan O'Brien

CLASSIC Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

Kim Kardashian reached 45 million followers on Instagram yesterday and celebrated the only way she knows how, by establishing a public awareness campaign to raise money to build wells in southern Sudan. Just kidding, she posted another selfie.

Jimmy Fallon

 
 

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