Humor

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Entertainment

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

During a campaign stop, a New Hampshire bar offered Marco Rubio what they called a “Marco Rubio burger.” It’s called the Marco Rubio burger because Chris Christie eats it for lunch.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Jeb pulled out the big gun. He had his mother, Barbara, out campaigning for him this week and they did a bunch of interviews together. It was really funny to see Jeb sitting there being interviewed next to his mom — it looked like a parent-teacher conference.

Jimmy Kimmel

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Fox News slammed Beyoncé’s Super Bowl halftime performance because her backup dancers were dressed like Black Panthers, and now some Fox viewers are calling for a boycott of Beyoncé. So it looks like old white guys won’t be buying Beyoncé albums anymore.

Conan O'Brien

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

Not only was today the New Hampshire primary, it was also National Pizza Day. So, one way or the other, Chris Christie will be giving a victory speech.

Jimmy Fallon

Camping Tips

Humor / Jokes /

- Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

- A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

- The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those...Read more

Airline Rage

Humor / Jokes /

As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: "And get ME a coke...NOW!"

The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot's attitude, ...Read more

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!

Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
A: 'Claws.'

Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger?
A: A stri-ped!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey ...Read more

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

What's the first thing that a wizard does in the morning?
He wakes up!

What do you call a wizard who's black and blue all over?
Bruce!

Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
To keep their heads warm!

What did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend?
Hello gore-juice!

What do you get if you cross a river with an ...Read more

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!

Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?

Doctor these pills you gave me for BO...
What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!

Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.<...Read more

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

Donald Trump said this weekend that he feels the Iowa caucus results were “very unfair” to himself and Dr. Ben Carson. Other things Trump considers unfair to him include Google, sidewalks, shoelaces, oxygen, and Dame Judi Dench.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

On Saturday ABC News hosted the eighth Republican debate and the big moment was in the beginning, when Ben Carson didn't come out because he couldn't hear his name when he was introduced. It's OK, Ben, we know you're not supposed to wake a sleepwalker.

Jimmy Kimmel

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

While campaigning in New Hampshire, Jeb Bush said that Marco Rubio has never been challenged in his life. Then Jeb told the shocking story about the time his father put him in charge of his own trust fund.

Conan O'Brien

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

I saw that the unemployment rate in the U.S. just fell below 5 percent, which is the lowest it's been in eight years. When asked for comment on the number of unemployed Americans, Obama said, “Uh ... I can't wait to be one of them!

Jimmy Fallon

Break-Up

Humor / Jokes /

There was a pretty Nurse named Carol who broke her engagement to a doctor. She was explaining everything to a friend.

"Do you mean to say," exclaimed Cindy, "that the bum asked you to give back the ring AND all his presents ?"

"Not only that," said Carol, "he sent me a bill for 37 visits."

Lena's Divorce

Humor / Jokes /

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.

He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."

"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."

Physics

Humor / Jokes /

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.

"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save ...Read more

Classic Quips From Late Night

Humor / Jokes /

"The election is three weeks away and there are rumors the Republicans are getting ready for an election night disaster, which would be a first -- a disaster they were actually prepared for." --Bill Maher

"On Tuesday, the U.S. population hit 300 million. 'Oh, that's so cute,' said China." --Amy Poehler

"If recent polls are correct and ...Read more

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

A noise woke me up this morning.
What was that?
The crack of dawn!

It's gone forever - forever I tell you!
What has?
Yesterday!

Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time?
A jelly copter!

Why did the sword swallower swallow an umbrella?
He wanted to put something away for a rainy day!

Why did the man...Read more

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

A Tennessee man with the word "Psycho" tattooed on his forehead was arrested this week for stabbing someone in the stomach. Of course, if you have a tattoo on your forehead, no matter what it says, it says "Psycho."

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Jeb Bush’s mother, former First Lady Barbara Bush, joined him on the campaign trail yesterday for the first time. Though she did emphasize that she still hasn’t decided who she’s voting for.

Seth Meyers

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