Below the Beltway / Entertainment

Bad Doggerel! Gene Makes a Mess, Again

WASHINGTON -- Each of my poems here is based on a corny old joke that in its original form was fewer than 20 words long. In an effort to lose as many readers as possible, I rewrote each into a full Shakespearean sonnet.

Why Dogs Can'•t ...

Gene's True Calling is Calling

WASHINGTON -- Today, another installment in my Pulitzer Prize-winning coverage of the plight of the beleaguered customer service representative.

Jif peanut butter

Me: I have an idea for a marketing campaign for your product. You know those short...

Buzz Off: Gene Gives BuzzFeed a Good Review

WASHINGTON -- As an author of four books who is working on a fifth, I greet with joy and gratitude BuzzFeeds decision to no longer publish negative book reviews. Sure, this will deprive the public of a certain genre of joyfully vicious writing (...

Watch Your Language: Gene Defiantly Recommends It

WASHINGTON -- As the worlds leading connoisseur and curator of Bad Writing on the Internet, I often get letters from people about some common misuse of language that happens to annoy them. Most of these complaints are pedestrian. (Yes, I know ATM ...

The Time Bandit

Gene Weingarten is on vacation. This column first ran in 2007.

WASHINGTON -- This just in from a Mr. Alvin S. Datt, writing in response to a column:

"I will never get back the time I spent reading the horrible article you have written."