Below the Beltway / Entertainment

Company Men

WASHINGTON, Jan. 20, 2027 -- In his inaugural address, President Kraft Foods promised Tuesday that America would continue fostering the business-friendly atmosphere begun under his predecessor, President Jiffy Lube. The incoming and outgoing ...

Gene Hits His Cell By Date

WASHINGTON -- I just became one of the last people on the planet to get a smartphone. Somewhere in Western Sahara, a Bedouin tribesman is sitting on a camel, reading this column on his iPhone, laughing at my primitive self.

I cant explain why I ...

Into the Wild

WASHINGTON -- Have I ever told you how much I love nature -- trees and bees and deer and babbling brooks and other outdoorsy, green and brown nature-y stuff?

That's right, I haven't. And do you know why I haven't? Because I'm not a liar. I've ...

A Solid Achievement

WASHINGTON -- This column is excerpted and adapted from Gene Weingarten's speech on June 28 at Howard University, accepting the Ernie Pyle Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.

I'm going to talk ...

Take Me Out to The Head Game

WASHINGTON -- At a recent Washington Nationals baseball game, I bellied up to a concession stand named Senators Sausages (possibly Senators Pork was considered and rejected). I ordered a sausage and a beer and a bottle of water, for which I was ...

A Real Khyuty-Pye

WASHINGTON -- I am on the phone with Nancy Wagner of Salina, Kan. Nancy is the grandma of a young lady I have just read about in an ad from the Salina Journal that her parents posted on Facebook. The ad congratulates their daughter for graduating ...