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Dr. Joyce Brothers is syndicated in more than 175 newspapers. She is perhaps the world's most popular psychologist.
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Dr. Joyce Brothers is syndicated in more than 175 newspapers. She is perhaps the world's most popular psychologist.
Brothers provides ...
Read more about Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Child Has Some Strange Eating Habits; What Kind Of Diet Support Can Overweight Family Give?
Dr. Joyce Brothers
Dear Dr. Brothers: I have three kids, and up until now they have all
been what I would call normal and well-adjusted. But my oldest has
started criticizing my cooking, and wants to do her own. First of all,
she refuses just about everything I offer. Then, after she picks out
her own food, she will eat it only if it is separated on the plate.
Nothing can touch anything else, and God forbid if there is a bit of
juice running around the plate. Then she eats a hearty meal. She is 7.
Help! -- S.R.
Dear S.R.: It is difficult being the oldest child. You are always the guinea pig, the pioneer who sets the stage for what is considered "normal" for the children who follow. In the case of your oldest child, there's probably nothing going on that is indicative of a mental or emotional problem. I can't say that for sure, but only you know your daughter and her nature. It is possible that she is setting the stage for an eating disorder. If she is a driven perfectionist, her preoccupation with having total control over her food and eating could be an attempt to have some aspect of her life under her own dominion.
Does she have plenty of outlets where she can choose her own activities, and downtime to enjoy unstructured free time? If you are sure that your daughter is enjoying a stress-free life and is merely asserting herself in a culinary way, why not embrace it? She could be a little chef in the making -- they are known to take a great interest in food and its presentation from young ages. Sign her up for a kids' cooking class and see what happens. Be prepared to let her take the wheel at dinnertime, and then see how "picky" the rest of the family might seem! At the age of 7, your child may just be trying out her wings a bit -- it feels very good to make some of her own choices. Keep the lines of communication open so you can judge what is normal and what isn't. You may find your daughter to be comfortable in her own skin as well as in the kitchen.
Dear Dr. Brothers: I live at home in a large family of fat people. I hate to be so blunt, but that's what we all are. Now I have found a great program at the university that will take townies -- it is all very well-supervised with diet and exercise, and I am determined to do it and take off many pounds. What concerns me is that my parents, brother, sister, aunt and uncle all are perfectly fine with their fat bodies, and I don't know how much support I can expect. I'm scared. -- L.A.
Dear L.A.: It is a daunting task to lose weight and keep it off when you are surrounded by people who are not only enablers, but who also may end up being saboteurs or worse when it comes to your battle with losing weight. But you already have shown that you are strong and determined, as well as honest about your challenges -- and being scared is a perfectly reasonable reaction to the role your family might play in your success, or lack thereof. I think there is a chance you could be misjudging some of them, though -- I just don't know which one or ones. There's bound to be at least one relative who secretly isn't so happy with his or her size, and who really would like to join you in the program or informally follow the instructions you bring home.
Once you begin that program, the attitudes of your relatives surely will be put out there pretty quickly. So you want to notice the people who say encouraging things, or who ask to join you in exercising or shopping for or cooking nutritious food. This is who you should be hanging out with! Since you know the others are only trying to justify their own situation of being overweight, try not to take it too personally when they try to undermine your efforts. It will be very difficult, but I know you can do it. And you can show the others by your example that weight loss is possible. That will do more than anything else to bring them around.
(c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate
Copyright: (c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate
This news arrived on: 11/05/2009
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Posted Comments:
11-05-2009 14:31
East of Eden wrote:
Support for Diet
Why do you need their support? You are determined and you are doing this for yourself. Be strong and don't look to them for support. Look to yourself and, if you are a believer, look to God. Don't use their lack of support as an excuse to fail. Do this and you'll be very happy that you did. Lose that weight and regain your life.
11-05-2009 14:30
East of Eden wrote:
Picky Eater
She won't suffer any harm if she misses a meal or two. Growing up, if we didn't like what was on the plate, we weren't forced to eat it. Don't cater to her whims - unless she has allergies or intolerances, this is just a form of tantrum. As my mother used to say to my sister: tough.
11-05-2009 09:47
Leslie wrote:
picky 7 year old
My son also did that didnt want food touching. And I let him have his way and he outgrow it. There wasnt nothing wrong with him and he is a healthy 17 year old and now doesnt care if they are mixed up or such. Tell her not to worry she will outgrow it.
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