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College Dreams Don't Always Come True; Amazing Summer Followed By A Letdown Feeling

Dr. Joyce Brothers

Dear Dr. Brothers: I am a career counselor at a small liberal-arts college. I know pretty much how to handle most of the career and business issues that come up from day to day with the students, but I am writing to you because I see so much of a human side to this business that I am not really prepared to cope with. So I wonder if you can help. One thing that I can't seem to do is tell students they aren't qualified for and won't succeed in their chosen future job. Any tips? -- K.P.

Dear K.P.: You may be interested in the results of a study done recently at Ohio State University and published in the journal Social Cognition. Students were told there would be a new graduate program in business psychology that would lead to good jobs. But they were given different amounts of discouraging news, ranging from that their scores weren't quite up to par to that they weren't qualified and wouldn't be able to get a job in this field. The students who were given the most discouraging scenarios had higher levels of self-doubt and anxiety to begin with, but after they changed to more realistic career goals, their anxiety levels decreased.

In this job market, giving students false hope or unrealistic expectations when you don't have any degree of confidence that they can succeed may seem to be the way to go initially, because it doesn't lead to lower self-esteem or anxiety; dreams do die hard, and it may be seen as cruel to dash them. But the better way may be to give students a very realistic assessment of their chances of success as they head down a certain path. Of course, there will always be those students who confound all the logic and succeed in spite of predictions. Those will be the ones you don't want to discourage. You must have the faith in your experience and judgment to know which student to steer away from his goal and which to give a little push.

Dear Dr. Brothers: I am feeling something rather strange, so I thought I'd ask you for help. I have always been very upbeat and one of those people who loves life. Well, this summer I had a fabulous opportunity to travel in South America and participate in a program that involved working with native people and animals. I just can't explain how great it was, but now that I am back in college, everything seems so dull and ordinary. I miss the friends I made, too. Am I depressed? -- C.E.

Dear C.E.: You very well may be suffering from a reactive depression -- that is, being depressed because of your reaction to a specific event, in this case an unforgettable summer in what amounted to another world. I imagine this was a setting in which the adrenaline was flowing, emotions were high and you always had to be on your toes and at the top of your game -- all senses engaged and running! Under these conditions, I don't doubt that many intense friendships were formed, discoveries were made and worthwhile contributions were left behind. If you think about it, this has all the makings of a very tough act to follow.

Now that you are back at school, it is perfectly understandable that you would feel let down. First of all, you are back in the real world, which may not hold as many exciting challenges for you. And you miss your friends who shared that special experience with you, which no one at home or school can quite understand. I think you have shown that you have a lot to contribute, and since you enjoy living a bit on the edge, it's time to take on another challenge -- I'm sure you can find one at school. Look into local programs that might offer the same kind of thrill and sense of purpose and accomplishment you've just experienced. If your down feelings persist, the health clinic is there for you. But I think your new venture will help a lot.

(c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate

Copyright: (c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate

This news arrived on: 11/02/2009

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