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Dr. Joyce Brothers is syndicated in more than 175 newspapers. She is perhaps the world's most popular psychologist.
Brothers provides ...
Read more about Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Dr. Joyce Brothers is syndicated in more than 175 newspapers. She is perhaps the world's most popular psychologist.
Brothers provides ...
Read more about Dr. Joyce Brothers.
New Job Requires More Travel Than He Wants; She's Young But Worries About Old Age
Dr. Joyce Brothers
Dear Dr. Brothers: I suppose I should feel lucky to have a job. My
company has suffered a lot of cutbacks, and several of my colleagues
were let go. I've had to step into the shoes of the guy above me, and
his job requires a lot more travel than I am comfortable with. I'm a
newlywed, and my wife is giving me a really hard time about being away
from home every couple of weeks. I feel pressured on all sides. How do
I get through this with my sanity, job and marriage intact? -- L.C.
Dear L.C.: With such a delicate balancing act -- juggling your new home life with your work commute and your peace of mind -- something is bound to give. It's up to you to take a step back and decide what you can do about it before the stress becomes too much for you to handle. It seems you have reached a time in your life when you might want to take a little inventory of what's really important to you.
When it comes to our work, we often live our lives with a certain amount of fear. There's always the specter of unemployment hanging over our heads if we consider leaving, and it's even worse when we consider ourselves lucky to even be employed. But sometimes we construct a trap out of our lives, forgetting what makes us happy in the first place. Ask yourself what you really are working for. Is it for your own personal sense of satisfaction, or is it just so you can get more stuff? A bigger house, a better car and a whole mess of credit-card debt usually don't add up to stress-free living. A lot of the time, with the implied threat of losing a steady paycheck at our current job, we never consider the alternatives -- working less at a different job. Ask yourself what you and your family can really get by on, and you may be surprised by the answers. Your wife will be happy you did.
Dear Dr. Brothers: I am only 34, but I have been worried about getting old for as long as I can remember. I have already had cosmetic surgery twice because I am concerned about wrinkles and that sort of thing. I don't look old, but I have a dread of aging, I guess. My grandparents are very nice old people, but I can't imagine feeling good about myself if I ever get that far along. Is this something that is only going to get worse, or can I somehow get out of thinking this way? -- E.G.
Dear E.G.: There's really nothing anyone can say to make you feel better about your appearance -- you no doubt have trouble believing the old "beauty is only skin deep" line and most likely dismiss those who tell you that you look just fine. But before you decide to have even more cosmetic surgery done, there are a few things you should consider. Instead of looking so long and hard in the mirror for every new wrinkle and line, you need to look inward to see where this worry began.
Are you afraid you don't measure up? With images of runway models and svelte pop stars constantly bombarding us from our TVs, it's easy to become a bit insecure. When you compare yourself to the most recent incarnation of Hollywood beauty and find yourself coming up short, you may feel you somehow have to play catch up by getting more work done. Or is your problem more existential? Do you view your appearance as an indicator of how many years have slipped by without you even realizing it? You can turn your fear of aging around -- and start looking forward to the future instead of dreading it -- once you know what foundation it's based on. Just remember that whatever amount of plastic surgery you subject yourself to, real change comes from within. Add to that a healthy lifestyle, and your fears can start to diminish.
(c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate
Copyright: (c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate
This news arrived on: 10/24/2009
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Posted Comments:
10-24-2009 13:27
Maureen wrote:
Travel/Job and Growing Old...
First of all Dr. Brothers, you're wrong. This guy needs to put his wife straight. He is LUCKY to have a job and if he only has to travel every TWO WEEKS, that is NOT unreasonable. His wife is obvious insecure and believes he may be cheating. This is so obvious and you should be ashamed of yourself for not seeing it. She needs to be told to CHILL. HE needs to do his job, and do it willingly and well so he can KEEP it, lest he gets RIFFED and ends up losing everything. THEN his wife would really be complaining.
To Wrinkled Mama....
TWO PLASTIC SURGERIES????? ARE YOU NUTS? Do you realize that all the SCARRING you are accumulating will eventually slide down to where it can be SEEN and then you will want MORE surgery to lift it back up? You are heading into a very dangerous vortex, lady. I am 57 and do not have a single wrinkle...nor do I have any gray hair yet either! And if I did? SO WHAT? You are only 34 but are acting more like an 11 year old. You are SILLY, VAIN, and INCREDIBLY STUPID. Get a life lady. FORGET your stupid face and go out and enjoy life before you realize that you are 78 and have spent your entire life in front of a mirror!!! You need to put your selfish needs into something more IMPORTANT. Take the THOUSANDS you have spent on lifting up your sagging face...you could have put that money into a no kill animal shelter, donated it for cancer research, donated it to St. Judes who treat children with cancer...but no. YOU decide to blow all that money on your stupid body because you think you might be growing old? Well I got a newsflash for you toots...you ARE pushing 40. And then you will be pushing 50 and then 60, 70 and so on. There is NOTHING you can DO about it. Stretching your stupid skin to it's limits shows you have the intelligence of an amoeba. GET A LIFE. MAKE A DIFFERENCE. USE THAT CASH TO HELP SOMEONE IN DIRE STRAITS or to BUILD A NO KILL SHELTER FOR ANIMALS.
To Wrinkled Mama....
TWO PLASTIC SURGERIES????? ARE YOU NUTS? Do you realize that all the SCARRING you are accumulating will eventually slide down to where it can be SEEN and then you will want MORE surgery to lift it back up? You are heading into a very dangerous vortex, lady. I am 57 and do not have a single wrinkle...nor do I have any gray hair yet either! And if I did? SO WHAT? You are only 34 but are acting more like an 11 year old. You are SILLY, VAIN, and INCREDIBLY STUPID. Get a life lady. FORGET your stupid face and go out and enjoy life before you realize that you are 78 and have spent your entire life in front of a mirror!!! You need to put your selfish needs into something more IMPORTANT. Take the THOUSANDS you have spent on lifting up your sagging face...you could have put that money into a no kill animal shelter, donated it for cancer research, donated it to St. Judes who treat children with cancer...but no. YOU decide to blow all that money on your stupid body because you think you might be growing old? Well I got a newsflash for you toots...you ARE pushing 40. And then you will be pushing 50 and then 60, 70 and so on. There is NOTHING you can DO about it. Stretching your stupid skin to it's limits shows you have the intelligence of an amoeba. GET A LIFE. MAKE A DIFFERENCE. USE THAT CASH TO HELP SOMEONE IN DIRE STRAITS or to BUILD A NO KILL SHELTER FOR ANIMALS.
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