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Dr. Joyce Brothers is syndicated in more than 175 newspapers. She is perhaps the world's most popular psychologist.
Brothers provides ...
Read more about Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Dr. Joyce Brothers is syndicated in more than 175 newspapers. She is perhaps the world's most popular psychologist.
Brothers provides ...
Read more about Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Husband Is Embarrassing Wife With Flirting; She Wants Her Date To Lighten Up A Bit
Dr. Joyce Brothers
Dear Dr. Brothers: I am a 67-year-old woman who has been happily
married for 43 years. My husband has been a great father and partner,
but in the past year or so he has started acting weird. Whenever we go
out with friends or family, he finds some teenage or young single girl
to flirt with! It is driving me crazy. I've asked him to stop, and he
just laughs. "I'm just lookin'" he says, or "I'm not dead yet!" How do
I let him know he is embarrassing and hurting me? -- L.M.
Dear L.M.: No matter what age, a husband who flirts in front of his wife embarrasses everyone. No one likes to be around a person who comes across as charming only to himself. Due to his age, your husband probably feels it's OK to flirt with women who could be his granddaughter. He may feel he comes across as harmless and funny, when to others he looks creepy and disrespectful.
But no matter how harmless his intentions may be, that doesn't change how his behavior affects you. Since he doesn't take you seriously when you try to discuss it with him, perhaps a move obvious illustration is in order. At your next social outing, you may want to play the part of the cougar by flirting with any young men around. See how he likes it when you're the one flirting and how it affects him. Sometimes a turning of the tables is enough to put an issue to rest, but if that doesn't work, you can explore other avenues. When he starts laying on the charm to some young chick, take him down a peg or two by politely interrupting to ask if he's remembered to take his heart pills today. Ask the young girl if she knows your granddaughter, since they both seem to be about the same age. There are all kinds of ways to let your husband know just how much he is embarrassing you, but don't forget to show him in private that you are still his loving wife and that he doesn't have to keep testing your jealousy.
Dear Dr. Brothers: I have been dating a very charming man for the past two months. By now, I thought we would be very comfortable with one another, and a little more intimate. But so far he is quite standoffish. He keeps asking me out, and seems to enjoy my company, but we never seem to get to the next step. I mean, I've had only goodnight kisses, and many hugs. He does hold my hand when we walk down the street. So, what do you think is going on, and what do I do? -- P.W.
Dear P.W.: You seem to be suffering from a communication breakdown with your new boyfriend, and it's time for you to untangle the lines. There may be all kinds of reasons why he's not taking the relationship to the next step -- perhaps his last relationship didn't go so well, or he simply may be the shy type. Whatever the case, if you are interested in continuing the relationship, it's important to start being more of a participant rather than a spectator.
It's possible that the relationship hasn't reached the next level because he's unsure of your feelings toward him. Your situation may be like one out of a bad movie, with each person having romantic feelings about the other but both unsure of the other's intentions. He may feel he has missed his window of opportunity for a romantic relationship and is now relegated to "just friends" status. Perhaps it's time to let him know you're still interested by turning up the heat a bit. There's no harm in dropping some less-than-subtle hints, and you won't lose any of your ladylike integrity by letting him know how you want the relationship to go. It's the only way of knowing if you're both on the same page and if the relationship has any future whatsoever. Remember that courtship is like a dance, and it takes both partners to make a go of it. He may just be waiting for his cue.
(c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate
Copyright: (c) 2009 by King Features Syndicate
This news arrived on: 10/23/2009
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Posted Comments:
10-23-2009 13:37
East of Eden wrote:
Millicent
BTW, Millicent - I'll bet dollars to donuts you have quite a moustache. And a hairy back. BTW - there is no such thing as a wopdago. Your meds need adjusting. And, no, you are not entitled to an opinion because you are racist, ignorant, rude, deranged and downright obnoxious. Maybe if you shaved your moustache and waxed your back, you'd get a man - preferably a nice Italian man. LOLOLOLOL.
10-23-2009 13:35
East of Eden wrote:
Millicent
Good grief, Sandra. How many personalities do you have? Too bad they're all obnoxious. But, having said that, the girl who is dating the guy who is not putting the moves on her: ever think that he may be gay?
As for Millicent - you are a dirty-mouthed bthic who has never been touched by a man. I see you're still head over heels in love with me. Sorry Sandra/Millicent/Maryanne - I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole.
As for Millicent - you are a dirty-mouthed bthic who has never been touched by a man. I see you're still head over heels in love with me. Sorry Sandra/Millicent/Maryanne - I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole.
10-23-2009 12:36
Charles Barnard wrote:
Flirting Idiot
Dr.? I think you need to get some more training.
"...in the past year or so he has started acting weird."
This phrase should have rung bells in your head. ANY major personality change is a strong possibility of an indication of physical of mental illness.
Before recommending any other action, you should have recommended that this man see his physician and be evaluated for such changes.
CMB
"...in the past year or so he has started acting weird."
This phrase should have rung bells in your head. ANY major personality change is a strong possibility of an indication of physical of mental illness.
Before recommending any other action, you should have recommended that this man see his physician and be evaluated for such changes.
CMB
10-23-2009 07:55
Faith from Tampa wrote:
Flirting
Dr. Brothers, I think you missed the mark on this one. The wife is not jealous--just embarrassed! Furthermore, she said this is a recent change in his behavior, "the past year or so." When a 60-something person has a strange change in behavior it could indicate physical or psychological issues, including early onset senility. Unless he has a pattern of crude behavior, which from her description does not sound like it, he needs to be checked out thoroughly. In any event, his crude behavior should not be tolerated even if it means leaving him at home.
10-23-2009 01:14
MILLICENT wrote:
FLIRTING IDIOT
It is SOOOOOOO OBVIOUS this old fart is a wopdago. ONLY wopdago men act this way. She would be better off divorcing this scum rather than keep living with him.
And, EOE, Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so keep that cake hole of yours zipped. I will never stop telling the world about wopdagos so you may as well just go back to whatever planet you came from if you don't like it, honey.
And, EOE, Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so keep that cake hole of yours zipped. I will never stop telling the world about wopdagos so you may as well just go back to whatever planet you came from if you don't like it, honey.
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