From the ArcaMax Publishing, Dogs, Cats and Other People Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/dogscatsandotherpeople/s-372569-792841
A recent Newsday story asked the question, "When marriage goes to the
dogs, who gets them?"
I'd like to pose the question: "How do you keep your marriage from
going to the dogs because of the dog?"
I know far too many spouses who find themselves ousted from marital
harmony by the pooch. The grumblings of the contemporary dog owner
sound like descriptions of a disgruntled ex: "The dog growls at my
husband whenever he hugs me." "Our dog lunges and snarls at me if I
try to snuggle with my husband on the sofa." Or, just last weekend at
an event in Northern California, "The dog won't let my wife sleep on
our bed."
That last one takes the prize, but it's a two-way tie: At that same
event, another couple approached me with the identical problem. I
suggested the wives keep each other company at night while their
hubbies curl up in bed with the family fur balls.
The problems here are two-fold:
1. In these families, the pooch wears the pants. No boundaries, no
rules, no training.
2. Their dogs are aggressive.
Here are a few tips to keep the pooch in his place -- and your
marriage off the rocks:
-- The dog should not have the run of the house for the first two
years. Young pups should be supervised at all times: confined to one
visible part of the house when you're home with them, and in their
comfortable crates when you're not. This is a part of the
housebreaking process, but it's also part of setting boundaries and
establishing yourself as the king and queen of your domain.
-- Do not allow the dog to sleep in the bed with you. Dogs do not
belong on Cal-King pillow-top mattresses. I know this tip will offend
the sensibilities of dog owners across the nation, but abiding by it
will also solve a great many of their problems.
-- Do not allow the dog on any furniture at all. He won't understand
that the bed and the leather recliner are off limits, but the ottoman
is fine. The pooch can be a respected member of your family -- from
the floor.
-- Obedience-train your dog. Again, this will help you establish
yourself as the pack leader, and it will help your dog to relax into
his place as a member of your pack, just not the dominant one.
Note to aggressive-dog owners: You can make your dog less threatening
and easier to live with through training. But you cannot solve any
aggression-related behavior problems if your dog is not trained.
In other words, if dog training isn't on the agenda for those two
married couples, then sleeping in the same bed shouldn't be, either.
Of course, you can't blame the dog for all marital bumps. If your dog
is great, but your marriage is not, please refer to the May 15 Newsday
story for tips on how to handle that one.
Woof!
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Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books
about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and
host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Read all of Uncle
Matty's columns at the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com,
and visit him at www.unclematty.com. Send your questions to
dearuncle.gazette@unclematty.com or by mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box
3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619.