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Author Bio:
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
WOMAN OBJECTS TO GIVING CELL PHONE NUMBER TO HER BOSS
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: My boss wants my cell phone number for "work
purposes." He has trouble with limits, and I am reluctant to give
it to him. I don't want to receive text messages, unsolicited calls or
contact outside of work. My private life is just that -- private.
I have kept an unlisted cell number for many years for good reason. I have a home phone and will answer it when the boss calls. I arrive promptly at work, but leave the job there.
My privacy is important. I had a bad marriage, and there was stalking and invasion by my ex-husband. Those individuals who need my cell number have access to it.
Am I out of line? I realize that many people use their cell phones as their only phones and others don't mind receiving calls, but am I required to do so?
I think this has upset my boss even though I have explained my reason. I don't use my cell phone on the job; it's in my purse except during personal time (lunch, etc.). Must I give up my privacy to keep my job? -- WANTS PRIVACY
DEAR WANTS PRIVACY: As long as your boss has your home phone and can reach you in case of some emergency, I see no reason why he should be pressuring you for your cell phone number. Stick to your guns and don't apologize for it.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl whose parents have been married for almost 19 years. Mom started school two years ago to become a nurse.
She has always been an independent woman, but since she went back to school and is making her own money, she feels the need to be more free. Mom works eight to 12 hours a day. She leaves early and comes home late. She never stays for dinner when she's home, nor does she do anything with us as a family anymore. She used to work in the same study as my dad, but she moved upstairs. She also won't sleep in the same bed as Dad.
Mom is seeing a marriage counselor, and she wants a divorce and to move away. She says nothing is broken in the marriage and there's nothing to fix -- but why does she want to leave? She promises she won't see less of us, but she will be more than a half-hour away. She works nonstop and is constantly going out with her friends. I miss her, and I want my old Mom back! Is there any way I can stop her from going? Am I selfish for wanting her to stay? -- SHAKEN IN VIRGINIA
DEAR SHAKEN: You are going through a rough period, and you have my sympathy. Your mother appears to be so preoccupied with herself that she has forgotten she's a mother. Under the circumstances, all of your feelings are normal. Of course you want your mother and your old life back, and those feelings aren't "selfish."
While you can't stop your mother from leaving, you can ask her if you can join her during a couple of her therapy sessions so you can air your feelings in a safe environment and get some of the answers you're looking for. There are very real changes going on in your life and your parents'. You deserve some answers, and you are old enough to hear them.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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This news arrived on: 11/06/2009
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Posted Comments:
11-08-2009 04:08
PurpleDiamond wrote:
cell phone
Just tell the boss when your gone you forward your calls to the cell so there's no reason for him to have it. Or tell him he has to give you his too & his home address, wife & kids names & what schools they go to. If he thinks that's too much information just say "well that's how I feel about my cell phone", maybe he'll get the message? There is a "reject" button on every cell phone so if he's a pain in the hiney you CAN just hit reject. I have special rings for people in my phone, so i don't even have to look for who's calling & don't answer if I don't want to. It's not that big of a deal to me, save his messages til free minute time & IF he becomes annoying you have a record of all his calls & can save his voice mails if he gets nutty.
11-07-2009 12:34
wrote:
I don't think you shuld object to your momfrom going ouot aqs long as syour dad does'nt. Adrienne
11-07-2009 10:24
Shana wrote:
West of Hades
You're welcome.
I don't know about you, but it drives me crazy to have a word or phrase or name dancing just out of reach and it will bother me like a song stuck in my head until I finally pin it down.
I don't know about you, but it drives me crazy to have a word or phrase or name dancing just out of reach and it will bother me like a song stuck in my head until I finally pin it down.
11-07-2009 00:55
Tom wrote:
Cell phone
If she thinks her job may be in jeapordy because of it, than yes, give the boss the number.....There is no requirement that says you have to answer it. If the texts get too much, just have that feature turned off!
11-06-2009 20:30
Carolyn wrote:
cell phone
How many times in the past has she or her co-workers have really been called in for work? Does she work for a place that really needs someone to come in for work or is this her boss's way to get her cell phone number. I know people who work in a hospital and are on-call. But, they know when they are on-call and they have to be at the hospital with in a half hour. She didn't tell what kind of work she did. How does the other co-workers handle this?
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