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Author Bio:
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
DON'T FORGET THOSE BATTERIES WHEN 'FALLING BACK' TOMORROW
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: As a fire officer, I have seen far too many families fall
victim to accidental home fires. It is devastating to find out that a
life could have been saved if someone had only taken that simple step
of replacing a dead battery in a smoke alarm. Nearly 96 percent of
American homes have at least one smoke alarm. But did you know that 19
percent of American homes lack a working smoke alarm because the
batteries are missing or dead?
For 22 years, the International Association of Fire Chiefs and Energizer have been committed to changing this statistic through the Change Your Clock Change Your Battery® campaign. This partnership encourages families to change the battery in their smoke alarms when they set their clocks back an hour on Nov. 1. This message also serves as a reminder to communities nationwide to change the batteries in their carbon monoxide detectors.
As winter approaches, more people will begin using gas appliances to heat their homes and may find themselves at risk of carbon monoxide poisoning, called the "silent killer" because this gas is colorless, odorless and tasteless.
Thank you, Abby, for helping us spread this lifesaving message to your readers. -- JEFFREY D. JOHNSON, PRESIDENT, INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF FIRE CHIEFS
DEAR JEFF: I'm glad to help, and I know my readers are grateful for your timely reminder. It may seem like a menial task, but safeguarding yourselves and your families is extremely important -- so change those batteries this weekend!
DEAR ABBY: For the last two years I have been going out with a guy I'll call "Ricky." My problem is I don't love him anymore. A few weeks ago I told him I no longer wanted to be with him, and he started crying. He scared me when he said his life was in my hands.
Abby, I want to end it. Ricky suffocates me. He's depressed because his mom works and doesn't have time for him. His dad doesn't live with them, so Ricky feels he has only me to talk to. He wants to marry me, and I don't want to lie and say I will. It disturbs me that he still wants to be together even though he knows I'm not happy with him. He believes that if he's happy, I will be, too. Please tell me what do. -- TROUBLE IN SALINAS, CALIF.
DEAR TROUBLED: I'm sure the news that you wanted to break up was painful for Ricky to hear -- hence the tears -- but saying his life is in your hands was a form of emotional blackmail. For your sake, please don't fall for it.
Ricky appears to be needy and immature. Call his mother, tell her that you are ending the relationship and that he isn't taking it well. She's in a better position to see he gets emotional and psychological support than you are.
DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Heather," is trying to trick her husband into having another child. They already have one, but he doesn't think they can handle two.
They have been fighting about this, and it has created problems in their marriage. Heather confided to me recently that she is going to stop using birth control "just to see what will happen," and I'm pretty sure she's not going to tell her husband first.
I wish I didn't know. But now that I do, I'm not sure where my responsibilities lie. Should I tell him, or keep my mouth shut and act surprised when Heather gets pregnant? -- KNOWS TOO MUCH IN BETHESDA
DEAR KNOWS TOO MUCH: This is your best friend. You should tell Heather that she's making a serious mistake. What she is doing is dishonest, underhanded, and could be the final straw that breaks her marriage apart. And yes, you should tip him off. If it isn't already too late, he may want to take precautions.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
COPYRIGHT 2009 UNIVERSAL UCLICK
COPYRIGHT 2009 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
This news arrived on: 10/31/2009
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Posted Comments:
11-02-2009 20:22
leni wrote:
emotional blackmail
My first husband tried this ploy. Fortunately I was seeing a therapist who told me that when he treatened to hurt himself, call the police and let them handle it. Perfect solution, if the guy doesn't mean it he'll be mortified when the cops show up and he's locked up for 72 hour's observation. If he means it, he'll get the help he needs.
11-01-2009 07:07
Scarlett007 wrote:
CHEATERS & THE BED
Yes, that's my title to both gals that wrote in today. To the young single lady, who's coming to know what I call "A FLAWED SELECTION PROCESS" OK, this has no where to go but downhill; get out while you can & get a restraining order on your way out the door- so to speak! Every one else is correct; abusers begin w/emotional; mental blackmail & abuse; nearly always graduating to physical. The dudes creepy, I can feel your skin crawling from here! Listen to your own mind; that warning bell is speaking loud & clear=heed it!
For the Lady with the "Mixed-Up friend" , yes friend is in quotes & lower case on purpose. Ever heard the phrase "with friends like that, who needs enemies" I can't be sure, of course, but perhaps she's one of those people that needs a LOT OF ATTENTION?????~~* If so, then that's what this bruhaha is about. Or, even worse, she seeks to reopen Hubbys lack of interest! Any way you look at it, it's bad business; stay OUT OF THE WAY! As her friend, as we are being to you; there is NO WAY you can come out of this with your dignity intact, unless you say nothing & do nothing! Failing that you will have lost 2 friends, and they won't have anything nice to say about you! Believe me, no one knows what goes on inside anothers marriage; except those two! Any feelings you have of wanting to help, is the residue of your "friends" manipulation. T'was SHE who put you in Gods little green acre, South of the rock and West of the hard spot! DO NOT MIX IN!!! Good luck & Happy Landings, RSB
For the Lady with the "Mixed-Up friend" , yes friend is in quotes & lower case on purpose. Ever heard the phrase "with friends like that, who needs enemies" I can't be sure, of course, but perhaps she's one of those people that needs a LOT OF ATTENTION?????~~* If so, then that's what this bruhaha is about. Or, even worse, she seeks to reopen Hubbys lack of interest! Any way you look at it, it's bad business; stay OUT OF THE WAY! As her friend, as we are being to you; there is NO WAY you can come out of this with your dignity intact, unless you say nothing & do nothing! Failing that you will have lost 2 friends, and they won't have anything nice to say about you! Believe me, no one knows what goes on inside anothers marriage; except those two! Any feelings you have of wanting to help, is the residue of your "friends" manipulation. T'was SHE who put you in Gods little green acre, South of the rock and West of the hard spot! DO NOT MIX IN!!! Good luck & Happy Landings, RSB
10-31-2009 20:11
Stella wrote:
birth control
If the husband or any male is opposed to becoming a father, either another time or even for the first time, there is birth control available that could be totally male controlled...either get the condoms and keep them under your own control, get a vasectomy, or DON'T HAVE SEX WITH THIS WOMAN. The only way ANY woman has control over whether she can "trick" or "force" a man to father a child is if he is either too lazy or too stupid to take control of the birth control process or willing to take a chance in order to have sex with that particular woman at that particular time. Men give the control to the woman and then complain about the results.
10-31-2009 16:45
Blue wrote:
Friend
Her friend should not have made her privvy to the information about her plans to stop birth control. But since she did, she put you between a rock and a hard place.
If it were me, I'd tell the woman not to stop birth control and that she needs to tell her husband in front of me about what her plans are or were. If she refuses, then I would tell the friend that I was going to tell the husband.
I had a "friend" once tell me that she cheated on her new boyfriend (who was also a friend of mine) with her old boyfriend. I told her because she involved me in this lie, that I wanted her to tell her boyfriend the truth. Unfortunatley, I don't know if she did and we have lost contact. But I did some reseach and found that they are now married. If I were to guess, I'd say she didn't tell him.
Once someone involves you in a lie, then you are forced to deal with it the best you can.
If it were me, I'd tell the woman not to stop birth control and that she needs to tell her husband in front of me about what her plans are or were. If she refuses, then I would tell the friend that I was going to tell the husband.
I had a "friend" once tell me that she cheated on her new boyfriend (who was also a friend of mine) with her old boyfriend. I told her because she involved me in this lie, that I wanted her to tell her boyfriend the truth. Unfortunatley, I don't know if she did and we have lost contact. But I did some reseach and found that they are now married. If I were to guess, I'd say she didn't tell him.
Once someone involves you in a lie, then you are forced to deal with it the best you can.
10-31-2009 12:47
Anne wrote:
Trouble and Bethesda
To the young girl, break up with this guy. He isn't going to die because you don't want to be his girlfriend anymore, and he's definitely not ready for marriage, or even the promise of marriage when he is too immature to even not manipulate someone. He is holding you emotionally hostage and you deserve better than that. Be prepared for anger though, because he will get nasty for not getting his way. I'm guessing you are only in high school. You have a life ahead of you. Don't tie it down to a mere child.
Women who trap men into having a child are not thinking clearly at all. They assume that once the child is there, he will love it and be glad it's there. Too often, that does not happen. I would give the woman the ultimatum to come clean with her husband about not using birth control, or I will. That gives her a chance to fix her marital problems first, and to wake up and see that it would not be in the best interest of anyone for a child to be born into this. This woman may feel like another child will bring her happiness, but it won't. It will only bring about resentment and pain. Sounds like she needs a dose of growing up also.
I have seen this happen first hand. THen the father is stuck paying child support for a child he is tricked into having. When it's obvious as this that he was tricked, he should not have to pay.
Women who trap men into having a child are not thinking clearly at all. They assume that once the child is there, he will love it and be glad it's there. Too often, that does not happen. I would give the woman the ultimatum to come clean with her husband about not using birth control, or I will. That gives her a chance to fix her marital problems first, and to wake up and see that it would not be in the best interest of anyone for a child to be born into this. This woman may feel like another child will bring her happiness, but it won't. It will only bring about resentment and pain. Sounds like she needs a dose of growing up also.
I have seen this happen first hand. THen the father is stuck paying child support for a child he is tricked into having. When it's obvious as this that he was tricked, he should not have to pay.
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