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Author Bio:
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
MULTITASKING DAUGHTER IS DRIVING TOWARD DISASTER
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: My daughter insists that she's a "multitasker" --
too busy to telephone or text except when she's driving. It scares me
to be in the passenger seat while she's talking on the phone or
picking up toys the baby has dropped from his car seat.
I told her I won't talk to her while she's driving because I don't want to be a party to an accident she might be involved in, so she has stopped calling me altogether.
Don't these self-described multitaskers realize they are operating machines that can kill them or others while they shift their focus from the road? A man recently died in a head-on car crash as he crossed the interstate line. When the emergency vehicles arrived, his laptop was still running. What else can I say to my daughter when she doesn't "want to hear about it"? -- TERRIFIED MAMA IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TERRIFIED: The statistics I have read indicate that drivers using cell phones have the same risk of being involved in an accident as people who have been drinking. It is sad that your daughter is so overscheduled that she feels she must do two things at once.
However, until your daughter is ready to sharpen her maternal instincts, grow up and stop being defensive, there is nothing you or anyone can say that will cut through the static. I am truly sorry.
DEAR ABBY: My twin sister, "Karina," and I will be seniors this year, and we're starting to look at colleges. It has always been "assumed" that Karina and I would attend the same college and be roommates. However, I think it's time for some separation. We're very close, and I would like us to attend the same college, but I think we should consider having different roommates.
Karina is hurt and upset that I don't want to continue sharing a room with her, pointing out that we've been "roommates" our entire lives and get along well, so why argue with success?
It has nothing to do with her. I just think it would be easier to expand our horizons if we're not just known as "the twins." We would still see each other often, and if things don't work out perhaps we can be roomies the following year.
My mother is shocked and thinks there's something wrong between us. I would appreciate another opinion. -- THE OTHER TWIN
DEAR TWIN: Have a private talk with your mother and explain that as much as you love your sister, the time has come for both of you to explore your individuality. While the concept may be foreign to her, what you are contemplating would be a healthy opportunity for both of you. As the daughter of an identical twin, I can assure you that some degree of separation will be healthy and give you both a chance to grow.
DEAR ABBY: I am not ugly, but I am very unphotogenic. I take terrible pictures. At family weddings, I know photos are necessary and I cooperate. But the rest of the time I do not want to be photographed. Isn't this my right?
How can I, without offending anyone, prevent people from taking my picture? And am I the only person who feels this way? -- NO PICTURES, PLEASE, KANSAS CITY, MO.
DEAR NO PICTURES, PLEASE: No, you aren't -- and people who know you and care about your feelings should respect them and not insist. If the shooter is a stranger or a casual acquaintance, all you need to say is, "I prefer not to be photographed." And if you are pressed, say you're in the Witness Protection Program.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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COPYRIGHT 2009 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
This news arrived on: 10/30/2009
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Posted Comments:
10-31-2009 20:28
Marge wrote:
West of Hades
Good point.
10-30-2009 18:42
West of Hades wrote:
Marge, I agree with your post but they are actually called COLLISIONS not accidents because 99% of the time someone is at fault and it could have been prevented.
10-30-2009 15:29
marge wrote:
texting while driving
You should refuse not only to talk to her while she is driving but refuse to go anywhere with her while she continues this dangerous past time. A deer running across the road or something flying off a vehicle in front of you is not something that you can anticipate happening but it does happen everyday and these kinds of situations require not only an attentive driver but one who has both hands on the wheel to maneuver quickly and safely. It is being able to react in an emergency that prevents an accident and someone who is doing ANYTHING ELSE (talking on the phone, texting, eating, fiddling with the radio, dealing with children etc) besides driving is unable to give their full attention to the driving and prevent an accident. It is why they are called ACCIDENTS not ON PURPOSES.
10-30-2009 15:20
marge wrote:
twins
It might help to ask your mother if she would have expected you to be roomies with your twin, if your twin had been a male. Fraternal twins share much of the same things as identical twins but because they look different and may be different sexes, they have an easier time separating. By all means get different room mates, even different dorms or floors within the same dorm if it is at all possible. I can see a number of advantages in attending the same college...easier to go home for weekends, attend social things, transportation, a built in friend etc. but you are NOT always going to be doing things together so this is a good time to start the process of separating or does Mom have in mind for you two to marry twins or always remain single room mates?
10-30-2009 14:22
leni wrote:
text driving
It's not only young people and texting, drivers have been participating in dangerous behaviors when behind the wheel for as long as I've been driving. It infuriates me because if they choose to be reckless with their owns lives that's fine with me but a driver who is paying attention to anything but driving jeopardizes everyone on the road they're traveling. The WORST, the absolute WORST is when you see children in the car with the violator of common sense.
Yes, there are many people who text constantly and will never be in a related accident just as there are many drunk drivers who will somehow make it home safely tonight. The point is not that if you text and drive you WILL kill someone. The point is that anyone who drives should take the ability of their car to take a life seriously and do everything possible to reduce the danger they present to others.
Yes, there are many people who text constantly and will never be in a related accident just as there are many drunk drivers who will somehow make it home safely tonight. The point is not that if you text and drive you WILL kill someone. The point is that anyone who drives should take the ability of their car to take a life seriously and do everything possible to reduce the danger they present to others.
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