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Author Bio:
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
WOMAN'S PREDATORY BOSS IS EAGER TO SCORE AGAIN
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: I attended a business-related function with my boss and
some co-workers. I had way too much to drink and ended up having sex
with my boss. (He offered me a ride to my car and took advantage of
me.) If I had been sober, it would never have happened.
Since then, my boss continues to pursue me even though I have made it clear that it was a mistake and something I truly regret. I have no interest in this man. He is married, and it sickens me every time I think about it. I am too ashamed to discuss this with anyone, but my boss won't leave me alone. Please tell me what I should do. -- EMBARRASSED IN CHICAGO
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Your boss is acting like a sexual predator, and has from the beginning. If you haven't been documenting his harassment, begin to do so immediately. And if anyone has seen him put the moves on you, so much the better. You should also discuss this with an attorney, and because you are "embarrassed," make it a woman.
DEAR ABBY: My brother "Eric's" car was destroyed in a natural disaster four years ago. His insurance company paid for the loss, but he never replaced the car. For the next two years he borrowed one from another family member until she finally put a stop to it. For the last two years Eric has been using one of mine.
It started out as a temporary loan, but now he acts like I gave it to him. I still pay for its upkeep and insurance, because if I didn't, Eric wouldn't. I have offered to sell it to him for a reasonable price, but every time I mention it he comes up with an excuse.
I feel used. How do I tell my brother I want my car back without stepping on anyone's toes? We are a close family, and I'm afraid he'll hold a grudge if I tell him how I feel. He and his wife have full-time, well-paying jobs. My husband and I have two other vehicles, so I don't need the other one desperately. I just hate seeing it used and abused like this. Should I feel guilty about wanting my wheels back? -- USED UP IN THE SOUTH
DEAR USED UP: No, you shouldn't -- and your signature speaks volumes. Now pick up the phone and call your insurance agent. It is possible that because you are the legal owner of that vehicle, you could be responsible for any damage that your brother might cause while driving it.
You have been a wonderful and generous sister for having allowed him to use it for as long as he has. Because you're having trouble finding the words to tell Eric that you want him to stand on his own two feet and provide his own transportation, ask the relative who loaned him the last one to let you borrow her script.
DEAR ABBY: I am regularly invited out to eat by either of two friends, both of whom are very wealthy. I have noticed that neither one leaves a 15 percent tip. They usually leave 10 or 12 percent.
I feel uncomfortable when they don't leave a server what I consider to be the minimum appropriate tip. Would it be OK for me to add to the tip they are leaving? I don't want to offend them. Please advise. -- RED-FACED IN RICHMOND, CALIF.
DEAR RED-FACED: If you can find a way to do it discreetly, without embarrassing your host, I am sure your generosity would be appreciated by the server.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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This news arrived on: 10/28/2009
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Posted Comments:
11-01-2009 01:25
Sarah wrote:
tipping
I agree with marge about the tipping. I am a waitress and at the restaurant I work at we do everything she mentioned in her comment and then some. People don't always realize what servers have to do at their job besides just waiting on tables. A 15% tip is the minimum that should be left not the standard. It is very hard to make ends meet on what we make. I also agree that if you can't afford to leave a decent tip you really can't afford to go out to eat.
10-31-2009 12:14
guest wrote:
tipping
It never ceases to amaze me that the wealthiest people are the cheapest tippers. And if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out. Stay home.
10-30-2009 14:36
leni wrote:
under tipping hosts
Sorry but it takes balls to let someone buy you dinner and then complain about the tip they leave. She should be putting the tip down herself which would also avoid the undertipping problem, she can leave what she likes.
10-29-2009 11:19
Carolyn wrote:
used up
Tell the brother they are not paying for the upkeep and insurance for a car they are not driving. That the car will be sold and they can have first offer to buy the car. If they don't want to but it they can return the car in one week so it can be put up for sale. If they don't need the money that was for upkeep and insurance put it in a bank account and they will be surprized at how much it add up to. They are loosing value in the price of this car every year he has it. If the brother is in a accident, it is their insrance rates that will go up, and they could be sued. If the brother is not on the insrance and they find out he is the regular driver of the car, they may not cover it.
10-29-2009 10:55
Carolyn wrote:
Chicago
This was a business meeting, not a party. Even if it was a party, you don't drink until you do not know what's going on. Next time do not drink! She should not be in places at work where she will be alone with her boss. Tell him she did not approve of his actions and that they was unwanted. If he was so concerned of her getting to her car, they why let her drive home drunk? Think of the other people on the road when she was driving home. She could of also been in a one car accident. If she was not in control of herself, how could she been in control of a car????
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