Recipes by Zola - Lemon Meringue Cupcakes with a Raspberry Jewel

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Lemon Meringue Cupcakes with a Raspberry Jewel

Zola Gorgon

The Nightmare Anniversary...

Last year, this same week, I was supposed to be on vacation. Instead I was flat on my back in the hospital.

Those of you who are long time readers will probably recall some of the details. Here's a quick summary to get some of you up to speed.

I started having sciatica challenges so the docs put me on steroids. They didn't work, so we tried again. Still no luck. I just got worse. In their great wisdom, they decided the executive (me) needed a relaxing vacation, so I went. The drive to the resort about killed me. When we got there I made a slow bee line for the couch. I was in so much pain I could hardly walk. That night I literally crawled up to bed. Next morning I stood and collapsed. Ambulance was called and I was taken to the northern-Wisconsin hospital. Nice place, nice people but not a place to spend vacation. After 3 days they decided to give me an epidural. That failed 20 hours later and now I had to be flown, by ambulance plane, to a major medical facility. I chose Northwestern Hospital in Chicago. I spent 10 days in that hospital with 29 completely baffled doctors, interns and residents trying to figure out why I could not walk. I had to be sedated at all times and never left my bed. After 10 days they got me to the point where I could stand with a walker so they sent me home in an ambulance with a referral to a surgeon. Three more weeks of lying in bed, wondering if I'd ever walk again. Taking 16 prescription meds a day. Then surgery. Surgery worked. I walked out on my own two feet. The pain meds I was on were 12 times stronger than morphine so you might say I was rather doped up but I was walking.

Now, on to recovery. They told me very clearly that unless I followed their instructions completely, I'd be right back where I started within a year and that the surgery was only successful 50% of the time at best. Time to pray and behave. A year is a long time. For the first two months I was not allowed to bend down and even pick up a piece of paper. For a clean freak like me, that in itself was torture. Mental torture. But bit by bit I've recovered. I faithfully attended my physical therapy sessions up to 3 times a week. The surgeon recently cleared me to start to work out again. However, I am not allowed to go to a regular health club. I need to work out with a special trainer, but that's worth the investment. We're talking my back here!

Actually, it's not just my back. When you lose your back and you are immobile as long as I was, you lose just about everything. My ankles click when I walk now. My knees are toast and have to be built back up all over again. My hips don't work very well and they hurt regularly. For 9 months I was not really allowed to walk more than 30 minutes at a stretch and that didn't even start for the first five months. That means your feet hurt when you try to go for a walk. That affects everything, including your mood.

The patience that it takes to recover from something like this is immeasurable. I can only imagine what it was like for my in-laws who were in a car accident that makes my back surgery look like child's play. They never complained. They worked on their therapy with dedication, discipline and poise. They were an inspiration.

Since I started writing about my back surgery and recovery I've heard from many of you, too. You have been an inspiration to me and some of you have said my stories have given you the strength to get needed surgery too. It's a "small community" we live in. We can all support each other.

I write today as I look back on the year. A nightmare year. The kind of year that Queen Elizabeth once referred to as "annus horribilus".

As the anniversary approached I felt celebratory and sad at the same time. I tried to look back with pride at what I had accomplished in a year. I had no problem being grateful. The list of people who helped me through all of this is too long to write. It was amazing. But I was sad because so much of my life disappeared in one year.

Something happened to me last week, that I was not prepared for. It can probably be best categorized as a version of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I started having nightmares. I even had "eyes wide open" flashbacks. Flashbacks to the pain, the collapse, the EMT's trying to get me down stairs too narrow for a stretcher, a couple of nurses who didn't care for me like nurses should, a lot of drugs, a lot of fear and plenty of no-moving. They were just flashes. They scared me. Thankfully they lasted only a couple of days. It gave me a glimpse of what it must be like for people who suffer from a full-blown version of that kind of trauma. It must literally be a nightmare.

I'm through it now though. The big anniversary date of when it happened has passed. I'm working out with my special trainer and he puts me through my paces. A little bit stronger every day. It's the old adage, "one day at a time".

While on vacation this past week at the same resort, I had a new appreciation for the place. The Rushes is in Door County, Wisconsin. My husband and I bought a time share there 25 years ago. It was a good thing for us. It "forced" us to take vacations when we were first building our business. The place looks amazing. It looks as nice as it did 25 years ago. They've done a marvelous job of upkeep. The weather this week was perfect. We shared our time there with the same family members that were with me when the collapse happened. They were the ones that followed the ambulance to the ER. We laughed a lot this time and did a little ceremony where we cut my disabled parking sticker into little bits. Some of the little things feel so good.

Speaking of good...these cupcakes are a new innovation. I took my lemon miracle cake recipe, added the raspberry jewel, converted it to cupcakes and put on the meringue frosting. Yummy and getting rave reviews from my friend Rachel (I call her the cupcake Queen) and her family. So now I'll look forward to your reviews too. Think of them as a way we can all celebrate the milestones we've achieved in the last year.

Enjoy!
Cheers,
Zola

Lemon Meringue Cupcakes with a Raspberry Jewel
Makes 12 - 18 cupcakes.

Cupcake Ingredients:
The ingredients common to all of the "Miracle" cakes are:
2 large eggs
1 cup of sour cream
1/3 cup water
1/2 cup vegetable oil

For the Miracle Lemon Cake, also add:
1 lemon cake mix
3.4 oz. instant lemon pudding
3/4 cup Limoncello liqueur (this can be made with more water and leave out the alcohol)

Raspberry jewels:
12 - 18 raspberries
4 Tbl of seedless raspberry jam

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. All you have to do is load the cupcake ingredients in the mixer and whiz it around for 3 minutes. Fill your cupcake tins half-full with the mixture. Then insert one raspberry "wrapped" in a bit of raspberry jam. Just plop it on top of the mixture. Then finish filling the cupcake tin with more mixture. Bake 17 - 20 minutes until done. Check for completion with a toothpick. If it comes out with no crumbs you are ready to frost

Frosting:
1 cup of sugar
3 Tbl of water
2 large egg whites
Pinch of cream of tartar
Pinch of salt

Put the sugar and water in a small saucepan. Heat on high and stir until the sugar dissolves. Should only take 2 - 3 minutes.

In a large bowl, using a stand electric mixer (if you don't have one this will take longer to do and is a bit trickier but possible) beat the egg whites with the tartar and salt until soft peaks form. Then, with the mixer on medium speed, very slowly pour the hot sugar syrup into the egg whites. Beat until the frosting is fluffy. This will take about 5 minutes. Immediately frost the cupcakes while the frosting is warm. It will stiffen up if you wait too long. I mound each cupcake so it has a pillow of frosting on top; like a soft serve ice cream cone would look.

You can then carefully place the tray of frosted cupcakes under your broiler to brown the meringue (like a lemon meringue pie) or you can just leave them beautiful white.

Eat when cool out of the broiler, or they are heavenly if you eat them right after you frost them while the frosting is still billowy. Even later, they are still wonderful.

Store leftovers under a cake dome so you don't crush the frosting. They will be best if eaten within a day or two at the most.

Send email to Zola at zolacooks@gmail.com.

This news arrived on: 06/30/2008

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