Recipes - Tales from the ArcaMax Chef

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Tales from the ArcaMax Chef

We will get back to my history with growing (or not growing) tomatoes in a few weeks. Rest assured I have plenty more tales of tomato disaster.

The Jungle Boys (our 14 and 16 year old sons) finished school last week for the summer. The idea of the Jungle Boys being home with nothing to do for three months has been very exciting for them over the past few weeks. The idea of the Jungle Boys, and their neighborhood friends, being home with nothing to do for three months has been terrifying for She Who Must Be Obeyed (my wife) and me.

Something happens to boys when they reach those teenage years ... I can't explain it exactly but the result is something akin to their brains falling out of their skulls and hiding under the bed.

For the most part of the day, the boys walk around completely brainless. Rather than decide to take the trash out, the boys will continue to pile trash on top of the trash can until the trash piles up on the floor. She Who Must Be Obeyed will ask one of the boys to take the trash out. Were the brain in residence, the boy would do so and get it over with quickly. However, with the brain hiding under the bed, the boy is more likely than not to say something brainless like, "It's not my turn."

This brainless response is further compounded when the second boy, whose brain is also under his bed, is asked to take out the trash, often in the direct proximity of the first boy and within seconds of the first boy's response. So what does the second boy say? "It's not my turn."

She is a woman who appreciates certainty. The mysteries of the universe and unexplored ocean territories do not excite her. She wants to know that 1 plus 1 equals 2. In the same vein, She wants to know that if there are only two boys in the house, and one of them has trash duty at any given time, then one of the two boys must necessarily be responsible to take out the trash at any given time. The result of the brainless boys' mutually exclusive responses as to who has trash duty is inevitable ... She gets mad and one of the boys bears the brunt of the anger and gets in trouble.

Every once in a while the brain comes out from under the bed and the teen age boy has a normal thought like, "I should pick those clothes up off of the floor". Most of the time, however, the brain stays under the bed and the teen age boy is oblivious to the fact that She has told him 25 times to pick those clothes up off of the floor in an increasingly strident tone of voice. Unless that brain happens to slide out from under the bed in time the result in predictable ... She gets upset at the teen age boy and the boy ends up in trouble.

Add neighborhood kids into the mix (all boys) and the results become more problematic and unpredictable ...

God Bless America.

Enjoy!

This news arrived on: 06/19/2008

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