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Recent Quips from Late Night
"Last week John McCain said the fundamentals of our economy are
strong. This week, he said it's the worst crisis since World War II.
So he suspended his campaign, unless you count doing interviews,
airing attack ads, sending out surrogates on TV to attack Obama."
--Bill Maher
"President Bush spoke about the Wall Street bailout yesterday, and he
said, this is the quote, 'if the money isn't loosened up, this sucker
could go down.' So folks, if we know nothing else at this point, at
least we know that President Bush is writing his own speeches."
--Conan O'Brien
"The nation's largest savings and loan, Washington Mutual, has become
the biggest bank failure in history. See, the problem with the savings
and loans? Not enough savings, too many stupid loans, okay In fact,
they changed their name from WaMu to 'screw you.'" --Jay Leno
"The presidential debates had an unusual format. After blowing a
question on Bosnia, John McCain was told to extinguish his torch and
leave the island." --David Letterman
"Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said that the proposed bailout plan
will cost taxpayers $700 billion. To give you an idea how much money
that is, I can't give you an idea of how much money that is." --Seth
Meyers
"A farmer in Ohio has carved a corn maze in his field in the likeness
of Sarah Palin. The way it works? You you enter and suddenly realize
you're way over your head." --Amy Poehler
"McCain suspended his campaign, said the debate had to be canceled, he
went to Washington, screwed up the deal, and then un-suspended his
campaign and flew to the debate even though there wasn't a deal.
Usually when a 72-year-old man acts this way, this is when the kids
start calling nursing homes." --Bill Maher
"John McCain said he wouldn't attend tonight's presidential debate
unless Congress reached a bailout deal. Then McCain reversed his
position and decided to take part anyway. That's what happened. McCain
says he may drop out again, depending on what the first question is.
He's going to play it by ear." --Conan O'Brien
"But the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less
banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less banks. B, the
banks don't have any money left. And C, nobody's got gas money for the
getaway car. So, right there, crime is down!" --Jay Leno
Note: Please note that the jokes here are non-copyrighted fun stuff that was found from around the Internet. If by chance we have posted a copyrighted joke without attribution, please contact us to let us know which joke is in question. This way, we can either remove the joke or give proper credit to the author.
Posted Comments:
10-09-2008 11:25
Beverly wrote:
Political Jokes
Hey I thing the jokes are funny myself!! Yeah,for free speech!!
Well, Robert Brown, neither Fannie Mae nor Freddie Mac ever forced any bank to loan poor people money nor did the act you referred to mandate said loans.
It was the rich investment bankers, you know the ones that won't acknowledge your existence unless you have at least $4 million, that put us in the deep black economic hole we are in. They came up with those wonderful CDSs that they traded back & forth like hot potatoes along with the insurance giants & Mae & Mac got greedy & got in on the deal because it was easy money. So everyone thought. And then it turned out there was nothing of value behind the CDS.
Yeah after all, a democrat cant do anything wrong when he is useful to their agenda. Obama could get away with a public murder, and the news media would help him.
Gee I wonder why all late night idiots missed the FACT that good ole joe told ten(10) FLAt OUT LIES and made six questionable statements in the debate with Sarah Palin.??? Could they have done so on purpose-------NAHHHHH of course not !