Jokes - Recent Quips from Late Night

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Recent Quips from Late Night

"Ralph Nader's in the news. Today, Ralph Nader attacked Barack Obama for refusing to accept public financing for his campaign and said that Obama was too closely tied to big business. Yeah, then the guy sitting next to Nader on the park bench said, 'Shut up!'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush and Senator John McCain were both touring the flood-damaged areas of Iowa this week, but they did not cross each other's path. McCain said he didn't want to join up with Bush because that might send the wrong message. Yeah, nothing turns voters off more than people getting together for a noble cause." --Jay Leno

Do you like good news? President Bush has ordered now -- it's official -- has ordered his troops now to find Osama Bin Laden. Yep boy, he really jumped on that one, didn't he?" --David Letterman

"According to a Pentagon report this week, more than 1,000 nuclear missile components in the U.S. arsenal are lost and cannot be located. We can't even find our own weapons of mass destruction! Anyway, the Air Force, in their defense ... said today, there's a big difference between something being missing and just not being able to find it. Which would be okay if you're talking about a pair of lost sunglasses." --Jay Leno

"Last night, President Bush held a celebration at the White House honoring jazz. ... Yeah. It was an awkward moment when Bush said, 'This is great. It's just like being in an elevator.'" --Conan O'Brien

This news arrived on: 06/24/2008

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Note: Please note that the jokes here are non-copyrighted fun stuff that was found from around the Internet. If by chance we have posted a copyrighted joke without attribution, please contact us to let us know which joke is in question. This way, we can either remove the joke or give proper credit to the author.

Posted Comments:

07-03-2008 18:00

MilwJohn wrote:

These quips are prooof positive that there's a thin line between laughing and crying.

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07-02-2008 04:31

Jim Elliott wrote:

nightly commentary

Somehow the activities of the conservative bloc are so ludicrous they are ripe for the comments they receive by Leno and Letterman.

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07-01-2008 11:19

Thomas Japuntich wrote:

THE MIDDLE EAST WAR??

The US is at this time attempting to stop the war in Iraq! This is said to be a civil war!??????????
Just what would the American public have said or done if the United States had been
"INVADED" during our own civil war?
FIGHTING THE INVADER JUST MIGHT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE!

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07-01-2008 08:49

bjleavitt wrote:

late night quips

All of the jokes are about conseratives because they have made us the laughing stock of the world.

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07-01-2008 00:21

Sarah wrote:

Completely agree with Kenneth Kight!!

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