Jokes - Recent Quips from Late Night

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Recent Quips from Late Night

"Gay folks are now allowed to get married in San Francisco. All of California. So right now, gay men are asking themselves the big question: who's driving and who nags." --David Letterman

"I got to mention this right right away, 'cause we were all watching it here at the show. At the U.S. Open, 32-year-old Tiger Woods came back to beat 45-year-old Rocco Mediate. It was amazing. ... And apparently, when he heard that a younger, African-American beat an older white man, John McCain said, 'Uh oh. That's not good.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Congressman Anthony Wiener of New York -- listen to this -- that's his name. Yeah, he has introduced a bill that will grant immigrant status, immigrant visas, to supermodels that want to come here. Well, I have never been prouder to be an American. Of course, the nice thing about bringing these foreign supermodels here, you don't have to worry about them taking food out of American mouths. So that's one thing." --Jay Leno

"John McCain is actively courting women over 60. And I'm thinking, who does this guy think he is, Ashton Kutcher?" --David Letterman

"President Bush said that, after he retires, he wants to write a book. ... Bush said, he's not sure if it will be about politics or about his personal life, but he is sure it will be a pop-up book." --Conan O'Brien

"Tonight, we're going to examine the audacity of fear. You know, there's an awful lot to be afraid of in the world. Terrorists, tomatoes. ... There's one emerging fear that trumps all others. Baracknophobia. It is defined as the irrational fear of hope. The irrational fear that behind the mild-mannered facade, Barack Obama is intent on enslaving the white race. It's true. Wake up, white people." --Jon Stewart

This news arrived on: 06/17/2008

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Note: Please note that the jokes here are non-copyrighted fun stuff that was found from around the Internet. If by chance we have posted a copyrighted joke without attribution, please contact us to let us know which joke is in question. This way, we can either remove the joke or give proper credit to the author.

Posted Comments:

07-06-2008 17:46

Ginny - Illinois wrote:

Jokes???

These late night idiots wouldn't know a joke if it walked in front of them.

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06-28-2008 23:55

Princess Pea wrote:

Shaliaer

Intelligence is also required to UNDERSTAND sarcasm...

Must be why all this is going over your head...

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06-27-2008 00:20

shaliaer wrote:

Jon Stewart' remark re: Obama

Oh yeah! I got it but it's not funny, just stupid.
Intelligence is required for sarcasm.

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06-27-2008 00:16

shaliaer wrote:

Jon Stewart' remark re: Obama

Obama is not a descendant of slaves. But I figure he's got to be anti.
Reason being: He's not Hebrew. This is not Egypt.
And GOD said no more like Moses!
Jon Stewart=stupid=dumb. Don't you get anything correct? You must cause nobady's that stupid. Oops,I forgot you're Jon Stewart

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06-25-2008 13:31

What? wrote:

I cannot believe

This discussion is actually taking place... Flipping weak!

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