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Jane Horwitz's "Family Film Goer" has been offering meticulous, informed reviews of all the latest films since August of 1993. Her attention to ...

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Jane Horwitz

"Bride Wars" (PG, 1 hr., 30 min.)

A little girl of 7 or 8 sitting in The Family Filmgoer's row at a preview told her dad she thought "Bride Wars" was funny. And in truth, it does offer plenty of girlfriend humor, pretty things to look at, and yummy food to salivate over. It should greatly entertain girls 8 to 16. But many parents will surely wince at the movie's wildly over-the-top stereotype of female lust for things and appearances. Even more off-putting is the movie's humorously intended implication that women alone are guilty of this, while boyfriends and husbands roll their eyes in loving tolerance. This is ugly, retro stuff, and in these days of economic travails, the whole movie is so 2007. Even its closing messages about the importance of friendship and knowing whether your intended mate is right for you seem tacked on. If "Bride Wars" were really funny, of course, much would be forgiven, but its attempts at wit are more labored than laugh-out-loud.

Lifelong best friends Liv (Kate Hudson), a hard-nosed lawyer, and Emma (Anne Hathaway), a sweet but passive schoolteacher, have always dreamed of June weddings at the Plaza Hotel in New York. Emma's boyfriend (Chris Pratt) proposes, and Liv, who has already found her boyfriend's (Steve Howey) hidden Tiffany box, badgers him into proposing before he'd intended. Bursting with excitement, the two girlfriends, start planning their separate weddings -- until the very upscale wedding planner (Candice Bergen) they've both hired mistakenly schedules their nuptials on the same date at the Plaza. Uh-oh. Neither Liv nor Emma will blink and take a different date -- Liv because she always gets what she wants, and Emma because she's decided to grow a spine. In the blink of an eye they go from pals to enemies as they plan their dueling events. No dirty trick is too nasty.

"Bride Wars" shows much drinking, including a drunk bride in an early scene. It is sort of hinted that both women live with their boyfriends/fiances, and there is sexual innuendo at a bachelorette party, with male strippers in skimpy outfits and mildly suggestive moves. There is rare mild profanity and the odd rhymes-with-witch slur.

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Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages

-- OK FOR KIDS 6 AND OLDER:

"The Tale of Despereaux" G -- A tiny, big-eared mouse with dreams of valor saves the day in this charming and richly imagined example of old-fashioned storytelling. "The Tale of Despereaux" ought to charm kids 6 and up, but there are bits that could scare littler ones, such as rats cheering for a cat to eat the mouse; he also falls into a dungeon and runs a gantlet of mousetraps. These scenes all end safely. The film juggles too many characters, some of whom undergo dizzying personality changes, but kids can handle those flaws. The tale unfolds in the medieval Kingdom of Dor, where soup is an obsession. A ship's rat named Roscuro (voice of Dustin Hoffman) falls into the queen's soup bowl and the lady dies of fright. Chased by guards, he dives into the dungeon and lands in dark, violent Rat World. Behind a wall in the palace kitchen, Despereaux (Matthew Broderick) is born in fear-focused Mouse World. But Despereaux refuses to be afraid. Banished to the dungeon for consorting with humans, he bonds with Roscuro over the idea of valor. Their courage is soon tested.

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-- OK FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER:

"Bride Wars" PG (NEW) -- A little girl of about 7 or 8 sitting down the row from The Family Filmgoer at a preview told her dad "Bride Wars" was funny, and it's sure to be a frothy tween pleaser. But some parents will wince at the movie's bizarre stereotype of female lust for things and appearances, and the implication that women alone are guilty of this while men roll their eyes in loving tolerance. This is ugly, retro, and so 2007. Mind you, if "Bride Wars" were really funny, all would be forgiven, but its attempts at wit are more labored than laugh-out-loud. Lifelong best friends Liv (Kate Hudson), a hard-nosed litigator, and Emma (Anne Hathaway), a sweet schoolteacher, have a falling out after the fancy wedding planner (Candice Bergen) they've each hired mistakenly schedules their weddings for the same date at New York's Plaza Hotel. Neither Liv nor Emma will accept a different date, so they become enemies in planning their nuptials and no dirty trick is too nasty. The movie shows much drinking, including a drunk bride in an early scene. It is sort of implied that both career women live with their fiances, and there is sexual innuendo at a bachelorette party, with male strippers in skimpy outfits and suggestive dancing. There is rare mild profanity.

"Bedtime Stories" PG -- The script is a sloppy mix of sarcasm and sentimentality, and the fantasy sequences are homely and incoherent, but "Bedtime Stories" has the Adam Sandler silliness factor that kids 8 and older like. Sandler plays Skeeter, custodian at a luxury Los Angeles hotel, which began as a motel run by his late father (Jonathan Pryce). The new owner (Richard Griffiths) won't promote Skeeter and the conniving manager (Guy Pearce) aims to keep it that way. Skeeter's divorced sister (Courteney Cox) leaves her two young kids (Laura Ann Kesling and Jonathan Morgan Heit) with her brother while she flies to a job interview. To keep his charges entertained, Skeeter makes up stories and lets the kids add plot twists, which then start coming true, sort of, in Skeeter's life. The crude humor includes a tasteless gag about a dwarf. The Heimlich maneuver revives a seemingly dead man, and a guinea pig with bulging eyes is creepy. The dumb finale puts child characters in pointless danger.

"Marley & Me" PG -- SPOILER ALERT: This pleasant, if uninspired, adaptation has the same last act as John Grogan's book. We see a beloved pet grow old and ill, be kissed goodbye and euthanized. Parents of under-8s (and some older kids) might consider leaving after an aged Marley recovers miraculously from his first illness. Owen Wilson sidles through his role as John Grogan, who buys a puppy for his new wife Jennifer (Jennifer Aniston) when they start jobs as newspaper reporters in Florida. The cuddly but comically untrainable yellow lab Marley (played by 22 different dogs through the film) wreaks havoc before and after the couple have kids -- all material for John's column. The film shows Jennifer sad about a failed pregnancy (a test shows the fetus has died). There is drinking, mild profanity, dog poop and neutering gags, gently implied marital sexual situations and skinny-dipping, and a stabbing victim who's not badly hurt.

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-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:

"Valkyrie" -- An impossible-to-follow narrative and a miscast Tom Cruise sink "Valkyrie." Too bad, because high-schoolers might have found the story compelling. The suspense thriller dramatizes a failed 1944 plot by high-ranking members of the German military to assassinate Adolf Hitler, but film piles confusion upon confusion in explaining the plan and what went wrong. Cruise plays Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, a key conspirator who places a briefcase bomb beneath the table in Hitler's bunker. There are pulse-quickening moments, but whenever Cruise's ramrod-straight, eye-patch-wearing colonel barks lines such as "Hitler is the archenemy of Germany!" the whole thing slips into parody. There are a couple of intense battle scenes, but few graphic injuries. We learn after the fact that Von Stauffenberg has lost a hand and an eye in a battle. (He keeps his new glass eye in a silver case.) There are executions by firing squad, a hanging, suicides, rare profanity, brief mild sexual innuendo and smoking.

"The Spirit" -- Live actors crack wise and fight amid computer-animated settings in this tiresome comic book adaptation. It feels like an experiment, not an entertainment. The Spirit (Gabriel Macht) is a former cop who is unkillable. Clad in black except for a (computer-generated) scarlet tie, he fights crime under cover of night. His nemesis is the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson), a coroner gone crazy in his lab. In a murky mud flat, the Spirit glimpses jewel thief Sand Saref (Eva Mendes) who may have been his childhood sweetheart. Neither poignant flashbacks nor airy allusions to Greek mythology can breathe life into this dud. There are skull-pounding fights, off-camera suicides, the vaporization of a kitty, guns and explosions, profanity and smoking. OK for teens, but dull.

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" -- Though clocking in at nearly 3 hours, this magically spun yarn never loses its wonder. In a New Orleans hospital a dying old woman has her daughter (Julia Ormond) read aloud from an old diary -- that of Benjamin Button. The film flashes back to 1918, a train station clock that runs backwards, and the birth of Benjamin (mostly played by Brad Pitt), whose mother dies in childbirth (bloody sheets shown). The baby looks like a shriveled old man and his horrified father leaves the infant at an old folks' home. The housekeeper (Taraji P. Henson) there raises Benjamin, who gets younger-looking as he grows up. He goes to sea, discovers sex (in a brothel), and realizes how fleeting happiness is. He meets and falls in love with Daisy when they are both children, but he looks old. Years later, their lives (Daisy now played by Cate Blanchett) coincide for a bit. There are strongly implied nonexplicit sexual situations and partial nudity, an awful car accident, war deaths, occasional profanity, drinking and smoking. OK for all teens.

"Yes Man" -- This darkly comic parable has a couple of fine moments, but too often it resembles a TV sitcom that's trying too hard to be edgy. Jim Carrey plays Carl, a divorced man so despondent he says "no" to everything in life. A motivational speaker (Terence Stamp) gets Carl to commit to saying "yes" to everything. In that transformative moment Carrey shows a touching mix of tears and joy. He starts saying "yes" to life, which leads him to meet the lovely Allison (Zooey Deschanel), but too many "yeses" get him into trouble. There is drinking, midrange profanity, and a strongly implied sexual situation involving Carl and an elderly woman that makes the film too crude for middle-schoolers. There is milder sexual innuendo, a bar fight and a suicide theme. More for high-schoolers.

"Seven Pounds" -- Teens who are moved by altruism may be drawn to "Seven Pounds," but they'll have to overlook the syrupy glaze director Gabriele Muccino ("The Pursuit of Happyness," PG-13, 2006) slathers over everything. Will Smith, looking desolate, stars as tax man Ben Thomas, who seems to have a tragedy in his past. He plots to help people who have problems in their lives and who also owe the government money -- most especially, Emily (Rosario Dawson), who needs a heart transplant. The story couldn't be more predictable. There is rare profanity, a gently implied sexual situation, a strong suicide theme and nongraphic flashbacks to a fatal car accident. Mature teens.

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-- R's:

"Gran Torino" (NEW) -- Clint Eastwood, who also directed "Gran Torino," lets himself ham it up as Walt Kowalski, a growling Korean War vet and retired autoworker who's just lost his wife. He vents anger, sadness and racist grudges at all and sundry, especially at his new Asian neighbors, who are Hmong people, from Southeast Asia. Yet Walt becomes his neighbors' protector after a local gang tries to force their quiet teenage son (Bee Vang) to steal Walt's vintage Gran Torino. He slowly bonds with the boy and his sister (Ahney Her). A predictable story, unpolished acting and tired racial stereotypes flaw the movie, yet it has emotional punch. High-schoolers with patience for character studies may take to it. There are brief bursts of violence, grim threats, and the sight of a bruised and bloodied young woman who has been raped. There is a graphic verbal description of killing in war, profanity, racial slurs, sexual innuendo, signs of terminal illness, drinking and smoking.

"The Wrestler" (NEW) -- As washed-up wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson, Mickey Rourke is a revelation -- a palooka, a tragic hero and an innocent all rolled into one. Director Darren Aronofsky and Rourke tell a dank winter's tale of a man-child. Randy's always broke, estranged from his grown daughter (Evan Rachel Wood), and in love with a stripper (Marisa Tomei) who views him as just a favored client. The downward spiral of Randy's life is all the more moving because he tries so hard. "The Wrestler" will wow college film buffs and lovers of great acting. It includes strong profanity, bloody, head-banging wrestling, self-wounding, cocaine and prescription drug abuse, a graphic sexual situation, female toplessness and erotic dancing, and drinking. Not for under-17s.

"Revolutionary Road" (LIMITED RELEASE) -- Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet play an ill-matched married couple stuck in a conformist 1950s suburban rut in this emotional roller-coaster drama (based on Richard Yates' novel). Director Sam Mendes lets things get awfully stagey, but does elicit arresting performances. Winslet seethes and suffers as April, who wanted an artistic urban life. DiCaprio seems almost too callow as the very ordinary Frank. The movie includes an implied self-induced abortion, explicit sexual situations, marital infidelity, toplessness, profanity, and much drinking and smoking. For college-age cinema buffs.

"The Reader" -- Kate Winslet gives a thrillingly risky performance in "The Reader," a morally ambiguous film that is gripping, even while rather arid. Hanna (Winslet), a tram conductor in post-World War II Germany, seduces a teenage boy, Michael (David Kross) and they have a brief affair. As a law student, Michael is stunned to see Hanna again, but as a defendant in a war crimes trial. In middle-age, Michael (played by Ralph Fiennes) records books and sends the tapes to her in prison. The film seems to hint, bizarrely, that her illiteracy partly absolves her Nazi past. There are descriptions of the violent deaths of women and children, a grim visit to a one-time death camp, a suicide, explicit sex scenes with nudity, and smoking. Ideal for college students.

(c) 2009, Washington Post Writers Group.

This news arrived on: 01/08/2009

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