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Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
DAUGHTER CRINGES WHEN MOM DOES HAPPY DANCE IN PUBLIC
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: I am an 11-year-old girl who loves going shopping and doing
various stuff with my mom. But when we go to the mall or stop for
lunch and she hears a song she likes, she'll start singing to it. And
if we're standing up, she even dances to it a little.
I have tried telling her to stop because she's embarrassing me, but all she says is, "No one is looking, honey." She also does it at home in front of my friends when I play my iPod. Any suggestions? -- BLUSHING IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR BLUSHING: Your problem is one that has been shared by generations of young people. You have reached an age when image is becoming important to you, and you're afraid that your mother's behavior will reflect badly on you. It won't.
Rather than be embarrassed, please consider how lucky you are to have an upbeat, music-loving mother with a sense of rhythm and some knowledge of the lyrics. (If she has forgotten, be a sweetheart and offer to teach her.) I have it on good authority that an "old dog" can learn new tricks.
DEAR ABBY: After 30 years of marriage I still don't know how to tell my wife she can't cook. I came home tonight to find an expensive piece of meat I had been looking forward to eating reduced to shoe leather.
In our golden years, we will be able to afford to splurge on expensive cuts of meat, etc., only rarely. It is disappointing to have to toss it into the garbage.
I never encouraged my wife to cook, and usually the pressure of work distracts her. But she has been "surprising" me more often with "delicacies" on her days off.
I dread retirement. How can I nicely ask her not to go to the trouble of preparing these disastrous dishes? -- WANTS TO BE TACTFUL
DEAR WANTS: Who has been doing the cooking in your household all these years -- or have the two of you been eating out? Because you can't bring yourself to tell your wife her cooking skills need improvement, allow me to offer an alternative. Sign the two of you up for nighttime cooking classes so she can brush up on her culinary skills and, if necessary, you can take over the role of family chef after you retire. Bon appetit!
DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced when I was 15. It was nasty. My mother, in an act of desperation, dragged me into it. I was placed in foster care until her allegations were looked into and found to be false.
I held a grudge for 10 years. During that time I was bitter, angry, shy, anxious, scared -- overall, just a mess. I finally realized that until I addressed those feelings, it would affect all aspects of my life.
At 25, I am finally trying to have a relationship with my mother. It has been hard. There are some things from the past that I cannot forget, and I find it difficult to let go of my anger and resentment.
I'd like to write a book about my experience as a guide to forgiving and moving on, but if I do, I would not be able to hide my identity or my mother's. Is it realistic to write a self-help book without the world knowing it's my family I'm talking about? I'm longing to help others. -- ASPIRING WRITER IN ILLINOIS
DEAR ASPIRING WRITER: It can be done. I can think of two ways to accomplish what you have in mind. The first would be to write the story as fiction. The second would be to adopt a pen name. Whether or not your story turns out to be a best seller, the experience would be cathartic.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
COPYRIGHT 2009 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
This news arrived on: 11/21/2009
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Posted Comments:
11-21-2009 18:09
Carolyn wrote:
cooking
With Christmas he could give his wife a gift of a cooking class, they could even take it together. He could also join her in the kitchen to help. I know alot of couples who cook together. Or he could cook and say he wants to treat her to a meal. There is so many good cookbooks that would make a great gift also. I can not see after 30 years of marrage they can not be honest with each other and why this was not brought up before now. It sounds like it is almost every meal, but a few that was bad. We have all had kichen blunders we would like to forget about.
11-21-2009 17:48
Anne wrote:
Wants
I kind of feel for this guy. My mother is a terrible cook!!! When I had braces in jr high, I had to grind up her steaks because I couldn't chew them. No one has ever had the heart to tell her that the cooking she is so proud of, really stinks!! It's even worse, because my mom thinks she is a good cook, and brags on it all the time.
This guy better prepare to be the household chef. Some people do not like to cook, and just don't have a talent for it. I have been told that I'm a fairly decent cook, but I don't enjoy it. Thankfully, my husband likes to cook, so it's all good. I don't mind cleaning up the messes and doing all the other stuff, if he'll just cook for me. lol
This guy better prepare to be the household chef. Some people do not like to cook, and just don't have a talent for it. I have been told that I'm a fairly decent cook, but I don't enjoy it. Thankfully, my husband likes to cook, so it's all good. I don't mind cleaning up the messes and doing all the other stuff, if he'll just cook for me. lol
11-21-2009 17:45
Anne wrote:
Blushing
Poor kid. I feel lucky that my kids have always had a quick wit and sense of humor and if I danced around, they'd just dance with me. This little girl is blessed to have a mom that wants to be with her and is fun. There are so many abused or orpaned children in the world. I hope this little girl can realize that she has a tremendous gift in her mom. Twenty or so years from now, she'll be tormenting her children too.
11-21-2009 15:48
kotoc wrote:
To anyone who wants to know...
I am the mom of two "kids." Our daughter is 25 years old, and our teenage son is 18 years old. It's a fun thing we do to pick on our teen at every opportunity. (It's not only fun for my hubby and me, and our daughter as well, but I think it also gives him a chance to think of quick comebacks and sharpen his wit.) We aren't cruel or insensitive about it, though. It's all in fun.
Teenhood is a strange stage for young people. This is where they are faced with their future. They can take it with a grin, or be so sensitive and thin-skinned that life will always be too challenging and confusing. Let's face it... we don't live in a comfortable paradise where everyone's considerate of each other. At least, not always.
The teenager needs to know how to be open minded and tolerant. So does the parent. (To an extent....)
Teenhood is a strange stage for young people. This is where they are faced with their future. They can take it with a grin, or be so sensitive and thin-skinned that life will always be too challenging and confusing. Let's face it... we don't live in a comfortable paradise where everyone's considerate of each other. At least, not always.
The teenager needs to know how to be open minded and tolerant. So does the parent. (To an extent....)
11-21-2009 15:20
East of Eden wrote:
West of Hades
Whoops - I meant to put your name in the subject line and not in the author line. If I had a teen right now, he or she would be mortified by my klutziness.
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