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Author Bio:
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Couple Hopes First Meeting Of Friend's Date Is The Last
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: My husband's best friend of 40 years, "Nick,"
started dating a woman about a month ago. Nick has been down on his
luck personally and financially for several years. He called and asked
if he could bring "Hattie" to our home for dinner. We
agreed, hoping it would be a good relationship for him.
Within 15 minutes of meeting her, Hattie told me she was bipolar and suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. She has two small children, but when I asked where they were, she changed the subject. Nick doesn't have kids, and he's nearly 50.
When Hattie asked me for something to drink, I offered her tea or soda. She took the soda, then said she preferred beer and wine, and did I have any. I poured her a glass, then she asked for a second and proceeded to drink 2 1/2 bottles of wine. Later, she told me she had a "headache" and asked if I had anything for pain. I offered Tylenol. No, she wanted something with a "kick." Needless to say, they didn't stay long after that because she was looking for prescription medication, and we had none.
My husband told Nick that Hattie was not the type of woman he needed. Nick shrugged off my husband's advice of not seeing her anymore. Personally, I don't want that woman at my house again. If Nick calls and wants to bring Hattie around again, how should we say no? -- BEST FRIEND'S WIFE
DEAR WIFE: Don't say no. Suggest that the four of you go out for dinner and make it a short evening.
DEAR ABBY: When I was in high school I was involved in a car accident that took the lives of two of my friends. I was driving. A deer ran out in front of my car, I swerved to miss it and hit a tree. I was wearing a seatbelt, my friends were not.
The police ruled it an accident. My friends' parents believed me, but because of the comments and physical attacks from my classmates I dropped out of school at 17. I got my GED and moved on -- or so I thought -- until two weeks ago, when I received an invitation to my 20-year reunion.
A handwritten note was enclosed from a girl whom I had thought was my best friend back then. (She turned her back on me when the rumors started.) Her note read: "Come. PLEASE come. I want to see you. We all do."
I don't know what to do. First of all, I dropped out. Second, there will be people there that I do not ever want to see again. My husband and my parents are pressuring me to go. My husband says it will bring me "closure," and my parents say I will look guilty if I don't go. Please help me decide. -- REUNION WORRIES
DEAR REUNION WORRIES: Pick up the phone and call the woman who sent the note. You are not the same person you were 20 years ago, and neither are the classmates who treated you so cruelly. You are now an adult, and you will have your loving husband beside you.
As to "looking guilty" should you choose to stay home -- you weren't guilty when the accident happened and not attending won't make you seem guilty now. If you attend, do so because you have unfinished business. The choice, of course, is yours, but I think you have more to gain by going than you have to lose.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
COPYRIGHT 2008 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
This news arrived on: 08/25/2008
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Posted Comments:
08-27-2008 13:06
Native so call "American" wrote:
Pledge of Allegiance
Being American is only made by the people that came to America and discovered it. And FYI - Pledge of Allegiance is brain washed into our hearts and minds since old school began... So call Americans can't even follow thier own rules... So why should we?
08-27-2008 09:58
Shana wrote:
Gestures of Patriotism
Somehow, I feel very sure that the people who would assault Silent Supporter for remaining seated are the same ones that bother ME so deeply by flying the flag on the bed of their truck, where it becomes a filthy, tattered rag, covered in dead bugs and exhaust residue, or leave their flag at home flying, unlighted, in all weather, 24/7, long past the time when it ought to have been turned over to the American Legion, VFW or Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts for a proper disposal - I find it "disrespectful" to use the flag carelessly in the guise of patriotism, but you won't find me beating up perfect strangers.... you will sometimes find me leaving copies of the Flag Code under windshield wipers and in mailboxes.
08-26-2008 15:29
Rich M wrote:
Silent Supporter
Simple solution for Silent Supporter: Since almost every gathering of Americans includes the pledge or National Anthem, people like SS should hang out in the restrooms until the ceremonies are over, rather then sit and be subject to verbal and physical abuse.
08-26-2008 10:38
Silent Supporter wrote:
Pledge of Allegiance
Dear Abby:
I was shocked and appalled at your response to Silent Supporter who chose to sit during the Pledge of Allegiance. Having religious preference which keeps them from reciting the pledge is one thing, but refusing the respect the flag of the United States of America is another. I do agree that they should not be physically abused for their choices, however there is something that they should understand.
Our flag is the symbol of the freedoms and privileges we enjoy as citizens of this great country. The reason that we stand, remove hats, and hold our hands over our hearts, is to honor our country and the flag that represents it.
Anyone who does not respect the flag, does not respect our country, and perhaps should consider finding another place to live.
American and proud of it.
Loveland, CO
I was shocked and appalled at your response to Silent Supporter who chose to sit during the Pledge of Allegiance. Having religious preference which keeps them from reciting the pledge is one thing, but refusing the respect the flag of the United States of America is another. I do agree that they should not be physically abused for their choices, however there is something that they should understand.
Our flag is the symbol of the freedoms and privileges we enjoy as citizens of this great country. The reason that we stand, remove hats, and hold our hands over our hearts, is to honor our country and the flag that represents it.
Anyone who does not respect the flag, does not respect our country, and perhaps should consider finding another place to live.
American and proud of it.
Loveland, CO
08-26-2008 10:14
wrote:
best friends wife.
Best friends wife it's not your relationship and so long as it doesn't affect your relationship then what's the problem? If you feel uncomfortable with her in your home then stick with your gut feeling. . . chances are she probably doesn't want to come back to your home anyway because you don't have anything to offer her nor so you have anything in common. But going out to a dinner and a movie ( don't have to talk alot @ movies) wouldn't hurt and it wouldn't hurt your husbands relationship with his best friend. . Good luck!
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