From Homemaker via AOL

My daughter and her cat recently moved in with her boyfriend and his cat (both female cats). Unfortunately, the boyfriends cat is urinating all over apartment -- on walls, furniture, chairs, rugs, even doors etc. I've never seen two cats hate each other so much. My daughters cat lives in the bedroom behind a closed door since she's scared to death.

Just last night, she got out and ended up getting stuck between the counter and the refrigerator. This led to quite a fight, leaving enough fur on the kitchen floor to make another cat!

We don't know what to do. My daughter doesn't want to ask her boyfriend to give up his cat, so she's thinking of giving up hers. Do you have any suggestions?

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I suppose I don't have to tell you this, but cats can be extremely territorial. It can be especially bad in a circumstance such as yours, where both are coming into a new territory at the same time, both attempting to establish it as their own. As you've seen firsthand, it can be a very messy process, particularly when one cat is considerably more aggressive than the other.

It can take a while, sometimes as long as a month, before a cat comfortably settles into a new environment. What you've done by sequestering your daughter's cat is actually the right thing. Unlike dogs, cats can do pretty well when confined to a small space for a long period of time, especially older cats who don't require as much activity.

What you need to do is give each cat a territory they feel safe and comfortable in. Again this may take as much as a month, perhaps even six weeks, so be prepared for the long haul. Give each cat their own area with their own litterbox, food, and water (I don't know the setup of your house, but I've seen houses that can be set up such that one cat has half of the house as theirs, the other half for the other cat). Be certain that they both get plenty of attention and love. And, here's the important part, keep the each cat out of the other's territory -- no exceptions. And don't swap territories, as this will result in more urinary marking.

Of course, what the boyfriend's cat is doing when she urinates all over the house is marking what she considers to be "her" territory. While you stated that only the boyfriend's cat is doing this, it's very possible that they both are, which is why the odor is so strong. Simply put, each cat is trying to cover the other's scent with the end result that the house is becoming rather pungent. It's very likely that removing the girlfriend's cat from the equation will end this behavior.

Still, it's vitally important that you eliminate the odor from the house entirely. This can be tricky, as even when you can't smell it, your cat can. I recommend commercial products such as Febreze, Nature's Miracle, or simple white vinegar diluted with water. How to find the cat urine? Try a black light -- cat urine floresces when exposed to it (think of yourself as being on CSI, only for cats!).

If, after a few weeks, this arrangement seems to work, try occasional short supervised visits between the two cats. This amounts to opening the door and seeing what happens. Cat's respond better to positive attention than negative, so be there giving plenty of affection, support, and food to both cats. If things start to go awry then separate them immediately and try again a few days later.

With patience I've seen this sort of arrangement work, with both cats staking out neutral territory and each rarely straying into the other's. However, there're also some cats that just won't get along, requiring more drastic measures. Even then, getting rid of a cat may not be necessary. I know of a couple who has kept "her" cat in the wife's office for several years with no ill effects. Since the wife is in the office for a few hours each night the cat gets plenty of people time and seems quite content in her space.

Hopefully your situation can be resolved just as amicably with a minimum of additonal tension. Good luck!

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Cat fancier Rob "Power of the Meow" Stanson has been an observer and studied cats for over twenty years. Visit him at "The Cat's Meow" where you can view the archives or ask him your own question which he will answer in a future column!