Business Success - Pushy Co-Worker Sets Stage for Argument

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Pushy Co-Worker Sets Stage for Argument

Lindsey Novak

Q: I work at a small company in which most of the employees pride themselves on their so-called healthy diets, which is stupid because one's diet is for one's own benefit and not something to show off to others. They are a mix of vegetarians and vegans. (I always have considered the vegans to be extremists.) I am neither. I don't talk about food; I especially don't care to discuss what I eat with my co-workers. One employee in particular is aggressive with her feelings about what people eat. I always stay silent, as I do not want to be dragged into conversations that are none of their business.

I could understand her aggression if I were a smoker who reeked from the smell of tobacco, but no one can smell my diet. Regardless, she acts as if my silence is a rejection of her views, and she baits every conversation, waiting for me to say something against her being a vegan. I would love to tell her to grow up because her real problem is that she is emotionally immature, but saying anything as to my views on food would fuel her anger. One thing she constantly talks about is making her dog vegan, which I am against. It goes against everything that's good for the dog. This stalemate between us is a bomb waiting to explode, and it interferes with the real work I have to do because I spend my time being angry with this idiot. Because the others are vegetarians, if I said anything reasonable, they still would come to her aid.

A: This is why "birds of a feather flock together." One person's behaviors and beliefs confirm another's, and the relationship feeds on those similarities. People can float through life having their views confirmed without ever having to research topics or open their minds to new or more accurate information. It is also awkward because you are working at a small company, so any emotional blowup would affect everyone and encourage employees to take sides. You already know you stand alone with your views. On the other hand, you don't want this belligerent person to continue a stance that aggravates you daily. Print out some of the many articles written by veterinarians that explain why dogs and cats are naturally carnivorous. (All one has to do is inspect the teeth of dogs and cats and compare them with the teeth of horses, cattle, sheep and humans -- yes, humans -- to see the difference.) Hand her the articles, and peacefully explain that you don't care what she eats but that you do care if her actions are hurting her dog. Then walk out of the room, and say nothing. Leave it at that. If she is too narrow-minded to read respected articles, there is nothing you can do but ignore her permanently.

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When Selling Oneself Turns Into a Lie

Q: People want their resumes to be positive and to promote them, but when do you know when you have crossed the line into lying? I want to say good things about my background and myself, but I don't want information to come back to haunt me or get me fired.

A: Take a close look at the words you use to describe your experience, your skills, your character traits and your accomplishments. Are your adjectives subjective, or are you presenting them as fact? If you stated that you increased a sales territory by 50 percent annually, that fact had better be true. If you spearheaded a project, your boss will be asked to confirm such information. If, on the other hand, you call yourself "seasoned" after six years in a field but the interviewer thinks 10 years is seasoned, that's simply a matter of opinion. You don't want to exaggerate anything that you can't live up to on a job, or you will look like a liar and will have blown your chance for future positions with that company.

Please send your questions to: Lindsey Novak, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. E-mail her at LindseyNovak@yahoo.com, or visit her Web site at www.LindseyNovak.com. She answers all e-mails. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Copyright 2010 Creators Syndicate Inc.

This news arrived on: 01/14/2010

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