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For 30 years, Christian leader and spiritual adviser Billy Graham has been offering advice to the thousands of readers who share their problems ...
Read more about By Billy Graham, Tribune Media Services.
For 30 years, Christian leader and spiritual adviser Billy Graham has been offering advice to the thousands of readers who share their problems ...
Read more about By Billy Graham, Tribune Media Services.
Are We Wrong to Be Upset That Our Father Remarried?
By Billy Graham, Tribune Media Services
Q: Two years after our mother died our father remarried (someone he'd
known in high school). But he never discussed it with us, and he just
can't seem to understand why my sisters and I are having such a hard
time accepting her as part of our families. Are we wrong to feel this
way? -- Mrs. J.H.
A: Over the years I've received many letters like yours -- and one reason I wanted to reprint your letter is because I hope it will encourage others not to make the same mistake your father did.
No doubt your father was wrapped up in his own emotions and plans at the time -- but he should have been considerate of yours as well. By not discussing his plans with you, he not only ignored your feelings but also set the stage for much resentment and hurt later on. The Bible says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4).
However, you can't change the past -- and you must not let it poison the future either. No doubt you and your sisters cherish the memory of your mother, and in your minds no one can ever replace her. That's perfectly understandable -- and it's not wrong. But be grateful that your father once again has someone with whom he can share his life -- someone who loves him and can help take away the loneliness every person faces who loses their spouse.
Reach out to your stepmother; she needs your friendship as much as you need hers. Don't dredge up the past with your father, but make an effort to get acquainted with her and accept her. Thanksgiving would be a good time to start.
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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.
(c)2008 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
This news arrived on: 10/28/2009
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Posted Comments:
10-28-2009 05:16
Freda wrote:
Sorry--gotta disagree with Bro. Graham on this one. Adults don't need the permission of their children for anything. And make no mistake about it: that's what these grown daughters really wanted. It would have been nice if the father had been able to discuss it with them beforehand. But I suspect he knew he was going to face what he ended up facing anyway.
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