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For 30 years, Christian leader and spiritual adviser Billy Graham has been offering advice to the thousands of readers who share their problems ...
Read more about By Billy Graham, Tribune Media Services.
For 30 years, Christian leader and spiritual adviser Billy Graham has been offering advice to the thousands of readers who share their problems ...
Read more about By Billy Graham, Tribune Media Services.
Should I Take My Alcoholic Husband Back?
By Billy Graham, Tribune Media Services
Q: I finally had to face the fact that my husband was an alcoholic and
things weren't going to get better because he had no desire to change.
He finally moved out because he said he was tired of my nagging, but
now I feel guilty because I'm not around to take care of him. Should I
ask him back? -- Mrs. K.S.
A: Elsewhere in your letter, you make it clear that you still love your husband in spite of his problems -- and this is why you can't just forget about him or wash your hands of him. I commend you for your concern.
But if you truly love your husband, you want what is best for him -- and what is best is for him to face his problems and deal with them. But will this happen if you simply ask him to return? In all likelihood, he'll insist you stop your nagging (if that was actually an issue) -- but beyond that he'll probably just keep living the way he always has, and nothing will be solved. Don't, in other words, become what psychologists call an "enabler" -- someone who just helps a person keep practicing their bad habit.
Ask God to give you wisdom as you seek to help your husband. If you invite him to return, insist that he first get involved with an alcohol treatment program; your doctor or pastor can suggest one in your community. It may not be easy for him to deal with his problem -- but the alternative is eventual death.
Most of all, urge your husband to turn to Christ. God made him; God loves him -- and God wants to help him. The Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13, NKJV). These words are true -- both for you and your husband.
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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.
(c)2008 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
This news arrived on: 09/09/2008
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Posted Comments:
09-09-2008 11:27
ANDREW OLIVER SATCHELL wrote:
ANDREW OLIVER SATCHELL
I DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL
09-09-2008 11:01
Granny Pam wrote:
Alcoholic Husband
I have been married for 51 years. My husband drank for 39 of those years. I took our children to church, held them by myself when they were dedicated....I never gave up my faith in the Lord that He would bring my husband to Him. My husband knew I had everyone in the church praying for him. He never abused me or the children..for that I am thankful. It just made for a lonely road to hoe when family matters needed taken care of. My husband got colon cancer and had a severe heart attack 12 years ago. He was close to passing away. But my daughter and I kept praying for him that the Lord would raise him up to serve him. It happened! He went through chemo and radiation. Had an new heart valve replacement. But..the Lord opened his eyes and heart to what is really important in this life. Never ceasing in prayer and showing love and understanding was also the key to our "now" most contented love for each other. I cannot tell you how good this life is. He serves in the church and feels very comfortable to walk around talking to other friends he made in the church. It was hard for those 39 years. But the one thing I really tried not to do is nag him. That does not solve the problem. If anything it makes it worse. Let him see the Lord in you and believe me, he will. Never give up...Phil 4:13..my favorite verse. The Lord will help you all the way...God Bless You
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