ArcaMax Publishing, Inc.

From the ArcaMax Publishing, Automotive Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/automotive/s-567605-667377

Eric's Autos: Politically Incorrect Car Parts
Eric Peters

Do you remember the catalytic converter "test pipe"? Back in the early '80s, you could buy one of these things at just about any auto parts store - openly and brazenly.

The "test pipe" was a section of hollow exhaust tubing designed to bolt in place of your car's catalytic converter - nominally, so you could "test" the converter (no one knows how) by driving the car without the converter installed. Of course, everyone knew that the "test" would be very long term, indeed - and that the catalytic converter would be tossed directly into the nearest dumpster.

Today, of course, test pipes are no longer available. In fact, they are as illegal as armor-piercing bullets. I wish I'd kept one as a historical artifact of a looser time that's now long gone.

Here's another one - though it's not a part, per se. Subaru used to sell something called the Brat. It was a spunky little thing; a kind of half-car, half pick-up. But its key feature was a pair of rear-facing jumpseats bolted to the floor of the bed out back. Grab handles on either side, but no seat belts. Can you imagine?

They got away with it, too. As far as I know, there were no lawsuits, no massive recalls. People were allowed to have fun - and trusted to use common sense. It's not like that anymore, of course.

Safety suffocation is the order of the day. We must be protected against any and all risks, no matter how remote. Or how expensive the protection. (This is one reason why even today's "economy" cars routinely cost as much as yesterday's luxury cars.)

How about floor mounted dimmer switches? We can't have those anymore, either. Another example of a simple, functional way of doing things made impossible - illegal - by the Safety State. Now we have these vile multi-function stalks. You (try) to hit the high beams - but the wipers come on instead. You have to take one hand off the wheel, too. Brilliant. But "safe." Or, so we're told.

Here's a personal favorite: Cans of Freon air conditioning refrigerant. Concern about the ozone layer (in reality, DuPont's concern about its expiring patents) forced the entire industry to change over to a new, more expensive and less efficient refrigerant in the mid-'90s . But the new stuff - R134a - did have one charm. DuPont held a brand-new patent. This stuff you can buy anywhere. But Freon is as hard to find today and just as expensive as Old School Coke - you know, the stuff that's made with sugar, not high fructose corn syrup.

I also miss steering wheels. Or rather, when steering wheels were one of the most distinctive styling centerpieces of new cars. Now they all look the same - thanks to air bags, courtesy of safety nags. Big blobs with a rim around it. Ugly as hell. But safe.

I'll take stylish and not-so-safe. I love looking at the spoked Formula steering wheel in my '70s-era Trans-Am. Nothing else looks like it. Along with the famous engine-turned (prisma) dash facing, the Formula steering wheel defined the mid-70s Trans-Am. Other cars of the era were similarly distinctive.

Even better, if you didn't like the steering wheel the car came with, you could easily replace it with an aftermarket wheel more to your liking. No one sells aftermarket steering wheels anymore - at least, not for any car that's been made in the last 20-plus years. You're stuck with what it came with.

And if the bag should "deploy" in a fender bender, you'll be stuck with a $2,000 bill to replace the damn thing - which may be more than the car itself is worth. But that's the price of safety, eh?

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www.ericpetersautos.com or EPeters952@aol.com for comments.

This news arrived on: 06/19/2009
Copyright © 2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc., and its licensors. All rights reserved.

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