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Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar work together on "Annie's Mailbox," a unique advice column written for the modern reader. The two began their ...
Read more about Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar.
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar work together on "Annie's Mailbox," a unique advice column written for the modern reader. The two began their ...
Read more about Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar.
Annie's Mailbox
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been happily married for 20 years.
After the kids were grown, we decided to downsize. We put our home on
the market and moved to a different state.
My husband's mother did not want us to move. She started interfering with the real estate office that was showing our house. She was given written warnings to stay away from the property. She then stripped all our perennials and trellises and took the picnic table and hoses -- anything she could get off the property. She left a huge mess, and I had to pay someone to clean it up.
She wouldn't stop, so I finally called law enforcement. Now members of the family have labeled me "psycho" because I filed a complaint, but the local police haven't done anything. Mom continues to arrive at showings and claims she is the caretaker. What can I do to stop this woman without breeding more ill will? -- Fed-Up Psycho
Dear Fed Up: Your mother-in-law's behavior is outrageous. Where is your husband in all this? He should quite firmly inform his mother that her punitive and destructive actions must stop immediately or she risks estrangement from his family. It is obvious that she is so frightened and upset by your departure that she believes her only recourse is sabotage. You both need to reassure her that living elsewhere will not keep you from calling, writing and visiting often. If she is incapable of adjusting, however, suggest she get professional help. It sounds like she could use it.
Dear Annie: I am a 15-year-old freshman. My best friend, "Ella," recently told me she is constantly depressed. She said she's tired of living behind a mask and wants people to understand.
Ella told me she's thought about cutting herself. She is usually a bright and cheery person, so this came as a shock. I can't help thinking maybe I never knew the real girl. She absolutely refuses to talk to her parents because she dislikes them. To me they seem like great parents, but I don't live in her house.
What should I do? I don't want to let Ella down in her time of need -- Trying To Understand
Dear Trying: If Ella won't talk about this with her parents, encourage her to talk to the school counselor, a favorite teacher or other trusted adult. Suggest she get some exercise. It boosts endorphin levels and can make her feel better. You are a good friend to care about Ella's mental health. Both of you can get more information through the teens site at kidshealth.org. You also should discuss this with your own parents so they can help you work on it.
Dear Annie: I need to comment on the letter from "Disheartened in Louisiana," the widow who says all the men she meets want sex, not a relationship. She is either approaching men with the wrong signals or the wrong attitude.
I've searched for a companion for 30 years and have been quite discouraged that the women I meet invariably believe the outrageous falsehood "Disheartened" mentions -- that all men are sexual creeps out for one thing. We are not. We are human beings and do not deserve to be collectively punished this way. I have a strong suspicion "Disheartened" finds what she expects to find. And yet, if men did not show any interest in sex, we'd be labeled gay and rejected.
If she operates by testing men and holding our behavior up to an impossible light, of course we will not wish to have a long-term relationship with her. There is no trust, loyalty or openheartedness in such a woman. -- Much Maligned in Michigan
Dear Michigan: You've made some good points, but you are just as guilty of stereotyping women. After 30 years of looking, you should get some honest opinions from your friends and relatives about your approach and see if you can learn something.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2009 Creators Syndicate Inc.
This news arrived on: 10/30/2009
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Posted Comments:
11-01-2009 07:42
Cecelia Funderburke wrote:
Teen depression
Please tell this young lady to go on the website for Real Talk Youth Summit. It was founded when Madison Dunlap, age 16, took her own life. This is a place where teens can go for answers.
11-01-2009 07:40
Cecelia Funderburke wrote:
Teen depression
I volunteer my time with a group that has a website www.realtalkyouthsummit.org that was founded when Madison Dunlap, 16 year killed herself. This is a good site for the teenage to go on and get help.
10-31-2009 10:47
Sandy in Wisconsin wrote:
Good point JD!
10-30-2009 17:19
JD wrote:
Fed Up Psycho
I always feel like there's more to the story than the few short paragraphs printed here. The writer says they have already moved out of state, so what is the intent of the M-I-L's alleged actions? And since the couple are gone, how does the writer know the M-I-L is the culprit?
10-30-2009 14:18
Shana wrote:
Trying To Understand
If this sweet, brave girl cannot persuade her friend, Ella, to speak to a trusted adult, then SHE should go to someone she trusts and seek help on Ella's behalf- Yes, Ella will probably be hurt and angry and feel betrayed but Ella is not presently able to act in her own best interests and by confiding in her friend that she is potentially a danger to herself, she came as close as she is able to screaming from the rooftops that she wants help.
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