From the ArcaMax Publishing, Annie's Mailbox Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/anniesmailbox/s-405849-366849
Dear Annie: My husband and I recently had our first child. We take
turns taking care of the baby so we can each get some rest.
When "Jimmy" was 3 weeks old, he had colic and cried nonstop for
several days. My husband got mad, said he couldn't deal with this and
threw the baby on the bed. When Jimmy was 4 months old, he caught a
cold and cried day and night for a week. I caught my husband hitting
and yelling at him.
I told my husband if he hits or throws Jimmy again, I will take our
son and leave. Is this a normal reaction to the stress of an infant,
or is it the beginning of child abuse? I am exhausted, too, but I
never feel angry with Jimmy the way my husband does. Am I
overreacting? -- Worried New Mom
Dear Worried: Overreacting? You're not reacting enough. Hitting and
throwing an infant is child abuse. Period. Your husband may be
unprepared for the responsibilities of fatherhood, and yes, it can be
stressful to be sleep-deprived while caring for a crying infant, but
that doesn't justify his behavior. Please don't wait until it happens
again. The next time could be fatal, and you'll never forgive yourself
for not taking action sooner. Call the National Domestic Violence
Hotline (ndvh.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) and get some
assistance. Do it now.
Dear Annie: My 21-year-old niece has been dealing with a drinking
problem since high school. I also have a drinking problem that only my
husband and kids know about. My husband, who was having a serious talk
with my niece, decided it was in her best interest to tell her about
my problem.
I am very private and want no one to know about my drinking because of
the stigma attached. I don't want my parents or siblings to have to
worry about me or look at me differently. I am doing quite well
keeping this under control.
I can't be certain my niece will blab this information to everyone,
but somehow, I think she will eventually. Do you think my husband had
good reason to tell her? I don't see how it would help, and it sure
made me angry. Shouldn't such personal information come directly from
me? -- Upset Wife
Dear Upset: Your husband should have asked you first if it was OK to
give your niece this information, but you can't put the cat back in
the bag. It is very possible that learning her aunt has a similar
problem was comforting to your niece and will inspire her to work
harder to control her drinking. In fact, the two of you may share a
genetic predisposition to alcoholism. We think having this information
will do more good than harm, and we hope you will forgive your husband
so you can be a source of encouragement to your niece.
Dear Annie: I read the responses to "Tired of Paying." I'm 60, male
and recently widowed. If one extends an invitation for a meal or any
other activity, that person assumes the obligation for any expense.
Thirty-five years ago, I did some part-time modeling and worked with
some gorgeous ladies. I wouldn't have expected them to reach for a
check in a restaurant, even though they were paid about 10 times what
I was.
Imagine inviting friends over for dinner and at the end of the evening
presenting them with a bill for "their share" of the festivities. Has
civility become extinct? Or have I? -- T.K. in Ojai, Calif.
Dear T.K.: We've heard of people who, in fact, do present their
"guests" with a bill at the end of an evening. It's outrageously
ill-mannered. The person who extends the invitation is still
responsible for paying unless other arrangements are agreed upon in
advance. However, if someone cannot afford to treat every time, he or
she should select something less expensive, which is why we
recommended meeting for a cup of coffee and other readers suggested a
walk in the park.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime
editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to
anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box
118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and
read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists,
visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.