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Andy Borowitz, known for his humor and equal-opportunity satire, has appeared in film and on television, and has been published in publications ...
Read more about Andy Borowitz.
Andy Borowitz, known for his humor and equal-opportunity satire, has appeared in film and on television, and has been published in publications ...
Read more about Andy Borowitz.
Cindy McCain Robot Gets New Head
Andy Borowitz
"We have the technology."
That was the message out of the McCain camp today as Sen. John McCain unveiled a newly refurbished Cindy McCain robot, featuring a state-of-the-art replacement head.
While the Cindy McCain robot had been a fixture during the primary campaign, appearing at the senator's side at hundreds of campaign events, a McCain campaign aide went out of his way to indicate that with its newly installed head, the CinBot-9000 was ready "to take it to a whole new level."
"This new head is going to enable the Cindy McCain robot to do things that it could never do before," said McCain aide Davison Matz. "For one thing, it will now be able to talk."
Mr. Davison said that while the robot's previous head had been able to emit simple sentences such as "I've always been proud of my country," the replacement head will have a 400-word vocabulary that will enable the android to simulate human-like speech.
"The robot will be able to talk about the economy as well as Sen. McCain himself," Mr. Davison said.
He also said that the newly improved Cindy McCain robot would have increased data storage, enabling it to store up to 2,000 recipes from a variety of online cooking sites.
Appearing with Sen. McCain at its unveiling, the CinBot-9000's new head appeared virtually identical to the previous one, down to its bleached blonde hair and glassy-eyed stare.
Beaming with pride, the GOP nominee remarked on the new head's resemblance to the old one: "She still plasters her makeup on like a trollop."
Elsewhere, President Bush announced plans to carve Iraq into two regions, "Full Serve" and "Self Serve."
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Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc.
This news arrived on: 06/26/2008
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Posted Comments:
06-29-2008 18:46
MaryEllen Olenyk wrote:
Men Are Pigs
This is disgusting I aam a proud follower of John McCain and feel that you nimrods are attacking a very caring mother. You people should consider your humor because you are going to be very bitter come November when Obama falls to the wayside because America has coem to its senses.
06-28-2008 13:07
Regina wrote:
Cindy McCain
Just because she has chosen to stay out of the limelight until now, do we need to pick on her? And always mention the fact that she had a substance abuse problem? How many people in America have had one, or have a close relative that has one?
As to her "bleached blonde hair", do you think 60 year old Hilary Clinton's hair is really that color? Or that Michele Obama's hair is straight? Let's stick to the issues, shall we?
As to her "bleached blonde hair", do you think 60 year old Hilary Clinton's hair is really that color? Or that Michele Obama's hair is straight? Let's stick to the issues, shall we?
06-28-2008 11:09
D. Lewis wrote:
article
Many years ago as a child I was taught a very, very important lesson. "If you cannot say something nice about someone -- keep your da-- mouth shut." This author must have had a "poorer" upbringing than me because his parents did not teach him this lesson.
06-28-2008 08:33
Patricia wrote:
Cindy McCain
I think this is one of the worst childish remarks ever made in so-called politics...it reminds me of grade school behavior....it sounds like you all beleive that you would be so much better and holyier-than-thou, in this world...well Cindy is human and probably a very nice person...we all aren't back-biting people like Clinton....the world takes all kinds and after all, she is not running for president....you are very nasty people
06-28-2008 08:31
CAsey42 wrote:
McPain bot
Sorry forgot to put my name on my comment.,
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